liverpool more, arsenal less
6:28 Well good morning ladies hey hey how ya doing my roommates probably really happy I woke up two minutes before my alarm
6:30 Reading the XI for the game is like opening up Christmas presents. (Spoiler! This was a really shitty kinda Christmas)
6:35 So is USA the channel with the blender infomercial or the vacuum infomercial? #paid #programming #RIP #Billy #Mays
6:40 Liverpool have a really cool tunnel!!! This is...Anfield? (insert wanking motion here)
6:45 So is it Chamberlain or Wilshere partnering Arteta in central midfield???? I hate myself for
legitimately being excited to find out.
6:46 Arsenal start shitty blah blah blah Mertesacker pulls back Suarez for a foul. Free kick. Squirtle scores. But Dad he was offside.
6:46:05 We can still win this guys we can do it.
6:50 Arsenal can't pass (foreshadowing hint. This turns out badly)
6:56 Squirtle scores again but like geez that was a sick header. Arsenal twitter prepare to meltdown in 5-4-3-2...
6:56:04 Guys a two- nil lead is the most dangerous. We still got this. I still believe. Bacary Sagna is God.
7:01 Okay 3-0 guys please wake up please I'm begging you please.
7:01:06 Wait Manchester United came back from three-nil down at Stamford Bridge one time. And they didn't even have Nacho Monreal when they did it. We can do this!!!!
7:05 Wait four-nil isn't good. But one time Newcastle tied Arsenal when they were down four-nil and we are wayyy better than Newcastle. We still can do this! (I'd take a draw.......reluctantly)
7:15 If we can just get one goal before half time we can win this. I swear on the body of Maroune Chamakh we can do this still.
7:25 Existentialist Crisis begins. Why do I like Arsenal? Why do I like anything? Why am I human? What does it mean to be human? What is a human?
7:30 HT Okay so we might be down 4-0 but one time in FIFA 09 I beat my 8 year old brother when I was down 4-0 at halftime so like I still believe
7:45 Okay halftime is over if we can nab one quickly we still gotta a chance. Wait Arsene when does the Kool-aid come in the mail?
7:47 My Tottenham supporting sister texts me “Lol @ Arsenal”. Hey Julia were still top of the league so LIKE SHUT UP.
7:52 5-0 yeah I don’t think we are gonna come back and win, but I'm not gonna go back to bed because there is .000001% chance that Arsenal come back and I would hang myself if they did and I wasn't watching #sports.
7:55 Why is this happening? What does this mean? ps. We are having a dilf party at my apartment tonight so like this is such a good omen thought right? All of the girls are gonna wanna get with me.
8:00 Three substitutions for the Gunners Ozil, Giroud, and Monreal off. Arsene basically gives in to defeat which is kinda smart because we play Manchester Untied on Wednesday (I'm not gonna correct that last spelling mistake so SHUT UP)
8:09 Hey we got a penalty guys. Penalties are fun and stuff. Mikel Arteta slots it home after Gerrard took down Chamberlain in the box kinda of stupidly, but its five-nil so maybe he is just being merciful. I know you all don't care but Wilshere started next to Arteta and Chamberlain started on the right wing. I sort of like it the other way around to be honest Jack played really well on the right wing one time against Marseille and Chamberlain is the next Gerrard so yeah. #WengerOut
8:11 Scroll through twitter...
8:13 The worst thing about Arsenal fans on twitter is they really don't know shit about soccer and yeah I do so SHUT UP. Arsenal fans think the world is gonna end whenever the team loses. When in all honestly its just three points dropped and Chelsea and City still have to come to Anfield.
8:20 I woke up at 6:28 FOR....THIS?!?!?! Arsene should buy me Lunch and Dinner and a new pair of shoes and a cat and a dog and maybe a hamster. It's all his fault why would he do.....this!!!! #WengerOut #LaudrupIn
8:25 Whenever Arsenal are losing big the camera just shows Jack Wilshere looking so sad. He wears his heart on his sleeve and heart and grit and he's English (wank wank wank), but I really love Jack Wilshere I think he needs a hug. I would give him a hug.
8:35 I am not even mad at least I am a reasonable sports fan and stuff unlike those stupid people on Twitter. Reasonable sports fans will get 4 hours of sleep to watch a game a billion miles away right?
8:40 Tried to go back to bed. I couldn't stop laughing instead. I don't know why I'm not crazy guys I swear.
Tough game for Arsenal, but trying to keep the perspective. Arsenal rested Ozil and Giroud for the second half and they should be fresh for Manchester United. Arsenal can't possibly have this bad of luck twice in one week. They better beat Man United on Wednesday. I hate them, I don't even hate Liverpool. #OneArseneWenger