#barannoying

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Diabolical New X-Men headcanon: Noriko always found Julian attractive, as far back as New Mutants or New X-Men. David could pick up on it on a some small level.

Her kissing Julian was extra painful because, even if she always hid the truth from David, he always knew she really did like Julian. The kiss just confirmed it.

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David picking up random thoughts of having a crush on Julian but not knowing where it is coming from so he just thinks he randomly has a crush on him would be a crazy bisexual awakening for him.

David's entire school life was this

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Help I was reading Academy X again, and now I'm in a Surge x Hellion mood. Time to gush about my headcanons of them as a couple.

I'm not going to do a write-up about their evolving relationship over time. Not yet, at least. Maybe one day. But let me pitch a hypothetical scenario to you guys. Let me set the scene. I want to just sort of walk myself through how a modern-day Hell-Surge ship could work. (Surgeon? Surgon? Juliko? Norian? JuNo? How about ThinkFast, since Julian is psychic and Noriko is a speedster?) Surge is kinda dead right now, but this is the X-Men. Even with the Academy X curse, she'll be back. If anything, the ship would be much more compelling because of the death.

So here me out on this one, motherfuckers. Remember how upset Surge was when her friends were in danger. She flipped out and hit Julian after finding out he and Laura went on a rescue mission during Mercury Falling.

Surge has mellowed out since then. But even in the current X-Force book, we saw that she won't leave anyone behind. Deep down, she has that heroic nature.

Her concern was not inherently romantic. It definitely wasn't meant to be during the above scenes. But still. I think it's cute and could be a nice building block for a theoretical romance.

Now let's flash forward to the current era, where Surge is currently in a new phase of her life: death.

We deserve to see how all of the Academy X characters would react to this. I NEED to see how David and Sofia react. But this is a JuNo post, so let's focus on our boi, Hellion/The Krakoan.

Julian would be furious. Despite their ups and downs, he respected her. They butted heads, but they understood and related to each other on such a deep, unique and personal level. They both knew the burden of being a leader and worrying about being able to protect others. They were really good friends, even if they didn't have a conventional friendship.

He'd absolutely go after X-Force and Forge. He already hated the adults for letting the kids die on their watch. First thing he's gonna do is fly to their ship, get mistaken for an enemy and be blasted out of the sky, because Julian's existence is only pain.

But AFTER that, he's going to rip into them. Sage might run a little bit of defense for Forge's sake, though we know she was all sorts of raw over Surge's death and Forge feigning his acceptance of it. Forge would probably chew him out for being so blinded by his feelings, he doesn't care that the world could have ended and Surge would have died anyway. Regardless, Julian will be so angry, he won't care how they feel. Even if he could see their pain, he wouldn't care. He would make sure they knew how badly they messed up, how disappointed he was in them, and how they should never forget what had happened.

Maybe Hellion could try and get on the team to continue the mission Surge believed in. Or he could go about his own path, causing chaos and destruction to eliminate some non-mutant threats, so no one else has to do it. Let no one have to sacrifice themselves for the X-Men, or a world that hates them. I like the latter idea a lot, because it gets to a core element of Hellion's character: he cares about others and wants to protect them, but he thinks his path is always the best one. And his logic is colored by his emotions.

But imagine how things would be once Nori comes back to life somehow. He'd be furious at her for sacrificing herself, mirroring how Nori felt after Mercury Falling. Meanwhile, Nori has no regrets about what she did. And frankly, it's not Hellion's, or anyone's decision, on what she does with her life.

As mad as he is at her, Julian loves that she's willing to stand up for herself, flip him off, and do the right thing. She makes him so mad, but he wouldn't want her to change.

And that's when the realization hits. For both of them.

For Julian, she affected him so deeply that his world was irrevocably changed when he lost her. And now that she's back, he doesn't want to lose her again. Not everyone can crack though his tough exterior, but she touched his heart deeper than anyone else did.

For Noriko, she hears about how Julian grieved her harder than most people ever will. Noriko was abandoned by her father and had people see her as an unreasonable bitch. She threw away her relationship with Prodigy to protect him, and it drove them apart. But now, under no one else's provocation, Hellion proved that Noriko had someone who loved her, warts and all. In fact, the very elements that make people dislike her (ie: her rash decisions when she wants to do the right thing; her desire to protect others; her self-sacrificing tendencies) are actually positives in his eyes. Hellion is intrigued as he is frustrated.

A relationship born from animosity and childhood squabbling. Forged by fire, it grew into respect and understanding. And through tragedy, it turns into admiration and love.

Though there's still the elephant in the room: Sofia Mantega.

Julian will always love Sofia on some level. Even if they're not together, they have a strong connection. He could move on from her, but he would never do something to hurt her. And dating one of her best friends could hurt her.

Likewise, Nori's not going to just take her best friend's ex. Even if their relationship was years in the past, Sofia was always there for her. And Surge deeply cares about her friends. She'd especially care about Sofia, since Sofia was one of the people who was always there for her, even at her worst. They lost touch after M-Day, after everything that has happened since, I feel like Noriko would be more paranoid about losing her friend again.

I think that if a romance were to bloom between Julian and Noriko, Sofia would have to be the one to take the initiative. She'd see the attraction and, putting her own feelings aside, approve of it. It could be awkward and painful, but it could work. Honestly, I feel if any of them were to genuinely get over the awkwardness first, it would be Sofia. Like assuming she was genuinely over Julian, she'd be actively pushing them together... while also reigning the two in, if they started butting heads over things.

Then we go the BotA card game route, where JuNo grow up, get married and wear matching costumes.

Oh, another possible ship name: BrainStorm. I wouldn't be surprised if this name was taken by Forge x Storm, and I know Valeria Richards is using it as her hero name right now. But this isn't about them. This is about BrainStorm.

Okay yeah, that's it. Tune in next time, where I go over headcanons for a HellShark reunion, or a Hellslide hookup, or my theoretical X-23 solo run where Hellion and Laura make up two thirds of an incredibly messy love triangle. Honestly, I'd love to write about Hellion x Rockslide, even though I am probably the only person who unironically ships it. But also, the Shark-Girl fans deserve more in life. They should have more.

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Did you know Chris Claremont wrote Hellion? For a few pages in X-Men Vol 2 (1991) #165. Hellion showed up and called Elixir a weiner.

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That also means Laura wrote Noriko kissing Julian. Laura is the female cuck representation we need in these times

Super ultra based tbh. And it might also explain why Noriko is suddenly written as bitchy in later stories.

But that means she also made Prodigy a cuck. What is this woman's endgame?

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The more I think about it, the more I love the idea of Julian and Quire being long-lost siblings. Like it would be such a fun concept to explore.

Like Quire would be jealous because Julian got to be the big man on campus, was loved by his peers, had beautiful girlfriends, grew up rich and wasn't adopted. Meanwhile, Julian would be jealous that the X-Men always kept Quire close, forgave him for more than they ever did Hellion, being an Omega, and not having to deal with parents who abandoned him.

They'd be at each other's throats all the time. They're both very caustic people, and they could get under each other's skin. Julian would be there to check Quire whenever he was being a creep, and Quire would be there to dunk on Julian and remind him who's more powerful. Typical Jock vs Nerd shenanigans. It'd be hilarious to see them butting heads.

But when push comes to shove, they'd support each other. Quire would look out for his brother. He'd appreciate finally having some family around. Hellion would also appreciate having Quire around. As bad as Quire is, he's at least more loyal than their parents and James. Quire's love and support wouldn't be conditional.

And imagine this: If, for whatever reason, Hellion ever wants to change his codename, he could go with Alpha. It fits so well with his personality and general theme of superiority. He and Quire would be Alpha and Omega. That works on multiple levels.

Idk, I really like the idea. It's a fun way to keep Julian relevant, since he'd be tied to an X-Man who always gets focus. It gives Quire development that ties into his backstory and insecurities, and gives him someone who can bounce off of him.

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One of the joys of learning Spanish is finding out that the surname "Mantega" sounds similar to manteiga, butter. So Wind Dancer is Sofia Butter.

Then someone pointed out that this would make her a Butter-Fly.

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Pictures of my dog sleeping