Just Stay.
(Baran Al-Hashimi x Trinity Santos)
Summary : Trinity leaves without a word after a date with Baran, leaving her to wake up alone in bed. The next morning, Baran finds Trinity at work as soon as possible.
Warnings / Tags : (18 + but 90% hurt/comfort) oral (b!receiving), insecure!Trin AND insecure!Baran, anxious!Baran, emotionally constipated!Trin, angst, eventual comfort <3
Notes : was going to write smth happy, then thought… mmmmm better not
Baran wakes up to an empty bed. Where there had been warmth beside her the night before, there’s now just sheets tossed aside and the outline of a woman who was laying there just a few hours ago.
It takes Baran a moment to process the sight. Last night, she’d been on a date with Trinity. They had dinner at Baran’s favorite Filipino restaurant just because Baran heard Trinity talking about needing to find somewhere that made decent sinigang. She’d stressed over this for a week (at least), making sure this would be the best first date it could have been. Making sure Trinity would like it. Making sure Trinity would like her.
They’d come back to her place for a glass of wine… which quickly turned into making out in Baran’s kitchen (her son away at his father’s house for the night), Trinity’s hands grabbing at Baran’s waist, intensifying the moment while Baran’s hands slid through Trinity’s hair, slowing her down. They managed to stumble back to Baran’s room eventually, both sliding off articles of clothing until Baran was sitting on the edge of the bed, wearing only her mauve bra and panties, looking up at Trinity, clad in a black bra, her pants still on. Before Baran could comment, Trinity was on top of her, kissing her again while her hands began to roam across Baran’s bare sides. Baran let herself relax into the moment, into Santos’s deep, almost frantic kisses down her neck and chest. The older woman’s hands slid down, down Trinity’s waist until her fingers reached the waistband of her jeans. Trinity was almost too busy kissing around Baran’s collarbones to notice, until she felt the button of her jeans slipping out of place. She shot up, immediately pulling away from the touch with an almost panicked, quick inhale. Baran stopped immediately, sat up, worry clear in the set of her brows.
“Trinity? What’s wrong? Are you okay? Did I- did I do something wrong?”
Her hands had reached to cradle Trinity’s face. Her cheeks heated up, her eyes suddenly focusing on anything but the big, doe-ish brown eyes looking at her with such care she almost felt guilty.
“Nothing. It’s nothing. I’m fine.”
Trinity mumbled. She leaned back in quickly, closing the distance between her and Baran’s lips. Not a moment of pausing. Just… distraction. Baran almost froze against Trinity before slowly kissing her back, trying to slow her down again.
“Just… let me.”
Trinity mumbled against Baran’s lips, a little shaky, but firm. Baran hesitated for a moment, her hands stilling on Trinity’s waist. She gently pulls away, breaking the kiss. The room went silent for a second, filled only with heavy breathing.
“Are you sure about this?”
Baran broke the silence by asking quietly. Trinity froze up, her hands going still.
“Yes. Obviously. I told you, I'm fine.”
Trinity’s voice came out clipped, too forced in its dryness. Baran nodded slowly, giving Trinity a long moment to slow this down, to pause… but she just kissed her again, guiding Baran back down onto the bed again. The rest of the night was lost in Trinity’s mouth attached to Baran’s pussy, taking care of her in a way few people ever had. Baran would have been able to get fully lost in it… I'd worry hadn’t been consuming her thoughts. She couldn’t shake the idea that Trinity was keeping something from her, that she had done something wrong. That she’d ruined tonight for Trinity. When they fell asleep together, Baran took nearly an hour to even close her eyes. She was too focused on trying to piece together what she was missing. Like this was a challenging case she needed to figure out.
But that was all in the past now. Now, the main worry that flooded Baran’s thoughts was: Trinity left. Maybe Baran had misread the entire situation, thinking this was something more. Something more than a casual hookup.
There was a strange… desperation that Baran couldn’t shake. Something that clawed at her, snowballing into an unshakeable anxious feeling. A feeling that Trinity maybe didn’t even like her anymore. What would work be like? Could they still be friends? Go on dates?
Getting changed that morning, grabbing her badge for work, tying her hair up… it’s all haunted by thoughts of Trinity. She can’t shake it. Can barely focus as she climbs into the car, fingers gripping the steering wheel a bit too tight for a usual drive. Her arrival at the hospital is marked by the skidding of tires as she parks. She’s really trying to act normal as she enters the emergency department. But she can’t help the tension in her jaw, the way her fingers tug at her sleeves anxiously.
The night shift is still doing their rounds when Baran enters (10 minutes early, as per usual.) The only other member of the day shift is Dana, who’s already organizing cases at the nurses stand. Baran’s expression softens just a bit as she takes a deep breath, holding it together for work.
“Hey, Dr. Al.” Dana greets her as Baran walks over, her usual warm smile on her face. Until she gets a good look at Baran. “You woke up on the wrong side of the bed today?”
“Something like that.” Baran mutters, giving Dana a tight lipped smile as she slides her stethoscope around her neck. “Have you seen Trinity yet?”
The ED gets crowded within a few minutes of the day shift trickling in. Baran is swept away in a case with Dr. Mohan and Dr. Kwon when Trinity walks in, bags under her eyes, hair messily tied half up. Debateably looking more messed up than Baran. The first one to comment on it is Javadi.
“Jesus, what happened to you?” She asks as Trinity grabs a clip board, scanning over one of the night shift handovers.
Trinity just gave her a blank look in response. “Don’t start, Crash.”
“What? Are you hungover?” Victoria absolutely does not leave it alone.
“What part of don’t start didn’t make sense?” Trinity asks back, the sarcasm a wall keeping her and confronting what happened the night before miles apart.
“Dr. Santos.” A familiar voice interrupts Victoria before she can even start another insult. Dr. Baran Al-Hashimi stands directly behind Trinity, pulling off a pair of latex gloves. “Can we talk?”
Victoria’s eyebrows raise in the most obvious nonverbal “oooohhhhhh” of all time. Trinity’s hands tighten on the clip board so much the wood almost cracks. She doesn’t even turn around. It’s too early and Trinity didn’t get nearly enough sleep to keep her emotions in check for a conversation.
“I’ve got a patient to check up on. Maybe later.” Trinity’s voice comes out clipped and tense, cutting off the talk before it can start.
Baran stands there, frozen for a moment, watching Trinity’s back as she darts off to a trauma room where Princess is busy helping a patient with their IV.
The next time Baran finds Trinity is in the break room, fingers pushing through her black hair, messing up the ponytail in the back. She's mumbling something to herself, something in another language Baran can’t understand. Filipino, she guesses.
“Trinity?” No more formalities. Just them. In the ED break room that smells like cheap coffee and old granola bars. Trinity visibly tenses again, like Baran’s presence has automatically added a weight to her shoulders. Her hands drop as she turns slowly to face her attending.
“Dr. Al.” She nods, hands stuffing into her pockets, a forced casual move.
Baran’s lips turn into a small frown. “You can call me Baran, Trinity.” She says softly, taking a step closer to the younger woman. “You weren’t there when I woke up this morning.” There. Straight forward, not hidden behind any awkward smiles or smoothed out questions. Just honesty. And a faint bit of desperation under a layer of insecurity.
Trinity’s jaw tightens. She looks down, as if there’s any way to not face Baran right now. “I had to go.” She says casually, shrugging her shoulders like this is nothing. Like it’s obvious.
“For what?” Baran steps closer, big brown eyes boring into Trinity’s like she’s searching for a clue about what happened. As if she’s trying to will it out of Trinity.
“For- for work. I told huckleberry i’d drive today.” Trinity responds defensively, avoiding Baran’s eyes adamantly. Even though her heart is beating faster. Even though she knows Baran is standing too close to be professional right now.
Baran stops in front of her, watching her expression. “He could have found another ride.” She says evenly, though more softly than she maybe meant for it to come out. “I was hoping you’d stay the night.”
Trinity finally looks up at that. The older woman is just… telling her. Like it’s easy. To Trinity—the most emotionally constipated R2 in all of Pittsburgh—this is a foreign concept.
“I thought we were just…” Trinity shakes her head, trying to conjure up some reason that might make her leaving seem reasonable. It’s proving incredibly challenging with Dr. Doe-eyes herself staring her down, looking upset in a way that makes Trinity want to kiss her and not stop kissing her until she feels better. “Keeping it casual.”
Baran freezes up again, brows furrowed almost imperceptibly. Casual. Had she really misread last night like that? For once, the attending is lost for words. The break room goes silent for a long moment.
“I’m not looking for casual, Trinity.” she finally speaks up. Her carefully chosen words, the soft way they come out… it all makes Baran seem smaller than Trinity had ever seen her. More like a woman who just wants to be loved. Not the confident, perfectly independent woman Trinity is used to.
Trinity swallows hard, finally meeting Baran’s eyes. She has no idea what to do. Usually, her relationships end after a few dates because her date is sick of her not opening up immediately. Baran has known Trinity for months now. They’ve been close for months now. Trinity has kept her wall of sarcasm and indifference up for months now. And Baran is still here. Standing in front of her. Telling her what she wants. And then taking a step closer.
“I want to be your girlfriend, Trinity.” Baran says more surely. “If you don’t want that, I want you to tell me honestly. Nothing will change at work, I just… need to know what you want before we take this any further.” Baran’s expression is soft. She’s holding her heart out to Trinity, trusting her in a way few people have ever done before. “Please.”
The younger woman now actually can’t take her eyes off of Baran. This moment feels too serious to break. Too serious for sarcasm.
“You don’t even know me that well.” Trinity responds. She’s out of excuses.
“I want to.” Baran responds easily.
“No you don’t—“
“Don’t tell me what I want, Trinity.”
They both stand there for another long, quiet moment. Staring.
Just then, Dr. McKay walks into the breakroom, her presence announced by a quiet sigh. Both women turn to face her with astonishing speed.
“Oh, sorry, am I—“
“Nope. It's fine.” Trinity cuts in before Cassie can even finish asking what exactly she is interrupting. Baran now turns to look at Trinity, looking even more like a locked puppy than before. Trinity tries very, very hard not to look.
Before Baran can say anything to Trinity, she slides past her, back out to the main floor, hands clutching her stethoscope like a lifeline. Baran watches with wide eyes, mouth open, the words ready to come out. Cassie awkwardly walks past her to the coffee machine, trying not to think too much about whatever just happened.
“Trinity.” Baran’s voice comes low and even from behind Trinity just as she’s about to get busy with another case. She doesn’t turn. Doesn’t have to. “I need an answer. Please. Just— just tell me.”
Baran’s voice pulls the attention of Princess and Pearlah, both standing by the nurses station. Baran doesn’t care. Trinity knows people are listening.
“Can we just… not have this conversation here?” Trinity still doesn’t turn, her hands tightening where they hold her stethoscope.
“No.” Baran says simply. Firmly. “Because if you won’t tell me now, I don’t think we’ll ever talk about this. About us.”
Trinity finally turns back, mouth open like she’s ready to argue why she can’t do this… and then she sees Baran’s eyes again. God. Before she can overthink it, she reaches to grab Baran’s wrist, pulling her as she walks down the hall, back to a storage closet she knows is nearly empty. Baran looks, admittedly, caught off guard. But she follows immediately.
“I don’t like how I feel when I'm with you.”
Trinity’s words come out quick, almost frantic. She knows she’ll never do it if she doesn’t just say it. Barn doesn’t speak—not yet.
“You- you make me feel like I actually give a shit. I don’t-“
She scrubs her hands over her face.
“I don’t know what to do with that.”
Baran goes quiet. She just stares for a long moment, lips parted, eyes wide. Then, for once, she just does what she wants. No hesitation. She gently cups Trinity’s cheek and pulls her in, kissing her like she means it. She pours everything into that kiss. Every bit of desire and affection, every last lingering “I want this. I want you. I’m serious.”
When they finally break apart—only because air is, unfortunately, a necessity—Baran doesn’t let go of Trinity. Not for a second.
“You don’t have to know. As long as you want to be with me. We can figure it out.” We. Baran’s patience comes with no strings attached. Just the sureness of someone who knows she won’t be scared away by a woman who needs some time to open up. “Tell me what you need. And… I'll meet you there. Always.” Baran says softly, her thumb brushing over Trinity’s cheek, holding her like she’s the most precious thing in this entire ED.
Trinity catches herself leaning into the touch before she can stop herself. Baran looks serious. So, so serious. The kind of look that says she has no plan to randomly cancel date nights, not even the inkling of an idea to leave in the middle of the night without a word.
“Do you wanna go on another date with me? Tonight?” Trinity asks before she can find some bullshit excuse in her head to shy away from it. “I… will stay the night this time.”
Baran smiles immediately. She knows how big this is. She feels her heart practically swelling.
“And… you’ll talk to me if something is wrong? If you want to slow down?” Before Trinity can even respond
to that, Baran adds; “And not just brushing it off. I mean talking. Actually talking.”
This time, Trinity actually… laughs. Just a bit. Because, god, this woman sounds so serious. And she makes it sound simple. Easy.
“…We can talk. Actually talk.”
Baran releases a breath, her entire expression softening. “I would love that.”
And then she leans in. This kiss is softer, more sincere. Final. Like something has been sealed.
“Okay. Sorry. I’m sorry. I’m keeping you from doing your rounds. Go.” Baran mutters as she pulls away from Trinity, smiles on both of their faces. “…You’re still behind on your charting.”
Trinity scoffs a laugh, despite all of the seriousness. “You make it really hard to not want to take back my invite.” She mumbles as she breaks off, pushing out of the storage room. Baran catches herself practically giggling.
Both of them go back to work looking suspiciously happy. No one dares to say anything about it.
