Cooley notes: Thinking about John being a lost puppy to Batman!Reader. To everyone else, he's scary and cruel, but to you, he's an annoying guard dog.
John stands behind, his hand gently dancing around against hips, his head nuzzled into your shoulder as your typing continues on the Seven’s computer. He’s whining like a little puppy wanting, no, begging for attention and it’s pissing you off badly.
“We got voted best-looking couple on Vought’s page, ya know,” he whispers against your neck.
He definitely made the media team at Vought post that stupid thing, because there’s no way you would get caught dead with him especially for some ridiculous publicity stunt.
“Oh, really,” comes the muttered, uncaring reply, fingers still flying across the keyboard.
“We should do more team-ups. That sunshine-and-grumpy thing works wonders for the media,” he continues, voice dripping with smug charm. It’s like he’s trying to pull you into a half-baked relationship that only benefits himm
“No.” your answer is simple, clipped. Typing continues, scrolling through document after document. His blond hair tickles the skin near the mouth part of your mask, and all that runs through the mind is: Get off me. Get off me. Get off me.
He leans closer, the padded muscle of his suit pressing against your back. “I bet you’re tired of working alone,” he murmurs, moving his face up to stare directly, blue eyes narrowing when there’s no response.
“Heyyy… look at me, I’m talking to you!”
He moves the other you back and forth, trying to force eye contact.
“You’re such a damn puppy, John! Geez, can you stop?” You shout finally breaking through the aloof persona, your voice cracking with frustration.
Most would be terrified, expecting him to snap, to let those eyes glow red.
Instead, he beams. “You looked at me!” he chirps, grinning like a happy puppy.
Okay.. You know what.. Fuck my sleep.. I need to write this or else I'd feel that itch in my brain. (I'm starting to have a headache due to only sleeping 4hours a day.. Sleeping only around 2-4am)
What if.. Listen, what if Batman was actually a woman who disguised herself as a man? It wouldn't be hard considering her she's wealthy and smart.. Ik it doesn't make sense but it's fan fiction soooo.. Back to what I was saying, what if she gets transported to the Avengers world or in the creepypasta universe? (I'm curious on how she'd handle the situation if she was sent to the creepypasta world, ngl)
I'mma sleep for real now.. Unless I have a sudden idea
-🔱
I don't really write canon x canon so I'm just making this Batman!Fem!Reader-
And I have thoughts on both versions actually-
General thoughts related to Batman!Reader:
While the "Brucie" persona is still a thing- it'll not have the same freedom as Bruce actually had. We live in a society that sadly sees women who are sexually loud as evil and deserving of death- Now I'm not saying you're a prude, no, but I am saying that you're scandals are more based on being sighted holding a man's arm and leaning too much into him, being a bimbo on live TV, being overly clumsy and creating chaos rather than sex scandals and getting topless and dancing on the Ice sculptures in the Iceberg Lounge.
Honestly, you could be friendly with someone and I'm sure there'll be someone to go crazy and think there's something there, resulting in a scandal and/or rumours that may end a relationship.
But all that is an extra precaution to make it much harder to connect the dots. Another precaution would definitely be for Batman to be a man rather than a woman. So, while the normal Batman costume is quite light and tight, yours is fully masked, voice changer always on, and on the bulkier side around the chest plate. (I do imagine this version of Reader is built like a fridge, like Bruce is, but I won't really comment on it beyond this)
The experience of living as a woman would heavily influence that decision. While being underestimated as a woman would give you an advantage, Batman was created to induce fear in criminals, most would only get angrier, more unhinged, if they knew a woman beat them up due to pure misogyny.
But also imagine if it was by pure accident- like the voice changer was to keep your identity secret, and the breast plate was because you didn't want to get stabbed as easily in a death zone, and everyone just assumed Batman was a man. You had zero intentions of making another fake identity, but once the public did, you just rolled with it.
I do, however, think that Two-Face and Catwoman know. Catwoman because Batsy slipped and said an exact phrase her dear, klutzy friend said to her a while back, and started connecting the dots from there. And Harvey knows you and already had theories, he connected them when you slipped into old habits and threw fake punches, hiding real ones. He always fell for them with you out of costume, he still fell for them in costume.
Harley may have found out via Dick or Jason slipping and calling out for mom. (You don't let them live this one down even now, when they're grown adults)
Thoughts on the Marvel Universe:
I don't really have an original way for how you get there- similar to the Loki and Eddie ask probably.
Tony Stark is a pure menace- He's flirting. No matter if you are playing the fake persona or the vigilante persona, he's flirting, and if it annoys you, it brings him even more joy. He'll still be the first to console you when missing the kids becomes too much.
Peter Parker, no matter if it's college or high school Peter, is becoming your favorite, secretly. Everyone suspects it, but they have no proof. Peter doesn't mention it when you slip and call him Richard.
You find Wade as much of a menace as Tony, but he does make you laugh- well, puff out air- so he gets fewer glares. Professor X is a menace for different reasons, you really don't appreciate him trying to read your mind.
Natasha, Bucky, and Steve are fun as a group, they, especially Steve, get flustered when you catch them on your own. Natasha and Bucky, mainly because despite everything that's been essentially brainwashed into them, they still have a hard time picking up your footsteps.
The way you get back is by your kids finding you(maybe by bullying John into helping and by pulling at Zatanna's heart strings to also help bully John- Tony would have tried to make something, but after getting attached, he kept "failing" aka messing it up on purpose. You would be fine here, you made friends, Peter likes you- he's fine with adopting kids to make up for the ones you lost.
The kids hated him on the spot. Maybe Dick tried to be nice but that was soon washed away when Tony was too touchy with you and that was a nono even for Harvey, and he's known the man long before he was Two-Face.
Alas, he lets you leave. What could he possibly do? Take you by force? His mind on that changes very quickly when he finds out what Wanda has done, and just for a second, he thinks that he would have done the same. You just may see him again.
Thoughts on the Creepypasta Universe:
I think it'll be very hard to meet a Creepypasta even in their universe, unless you were deliberately thrown in their backyard, or so to speak. And to some degree I like the Mansion head canon, but not in the "Slenderman is a single father, working two jobs" way, but in the "unwilling allies because I need a place to rest you lanky bitch."
I like dad Slendy as much as the average fan, but to me, Slenderman is a pure master manipulator, will act as whoever you need most in that moment if fear and the usual mind manipulation don't work.
I'm very much mixing the Observator and Slenderman here, I'm also a big fan of the Slenderman is a Tulpa/Egregore story line, so I strongly believe he hunts kids because of how easy they believe what they see BUT I do not think he kills/eats them, the kids going missing/dying is a correlation to him but he's not the cause. He needs his victims alive to spread the stories and fears; killing them all won't do him any good. And also imagine if this gives him access to other universes, simply by one person knowing him.
Like if Reader goes back, Slenderman will have a glimpse in that universe, nothing more, because it's just MC that knows about him, and she refuses to spread word about him even in mission debriefs. He needs a strong line of belief to be able to travel between universes.
ANYWAY- coming back to the reader- I think it'll be really easy for her to survive people like Masky, Hoodie, Jeff, Jane, etc, because, sure,e they may have more strength/agility/whatever, she's Batman.
Laughing Jack, The Puppeteer, Jason the Toymaker, etc, creepypastas that rely on mental manipulation of some kind, but that aren't Slenderman or Zalgo(I think they were my first monster crushes) level would also be easy to deal with, considering how easy Batman survives Scarecrow's toxic gas in the Arkham games.
More monster and less human creepypastas like the Rake, the seed eater, smile dog, etc, would put up a good physical fight, but from what I remember, only Ragface has the mental capacity to like foil traps and understand to be careful when hunting.
I don't think there's surviving Slenderman and Zalgo- maybe living for long enough to be saved, but if they don't play games, I strongly believe they'd be able to kill anyone. Now- if Slenderman wanted to add you to his roster of mindless soldiers, he'd definitely use Sally to guilt-trip you and manipulate you.
And for a while, it'll work, but as soon as you can, you will go back to your world. She was dead, it was Dark JL territory that you couldn't really tread without the possibility of angering the poor spirit. You had your own kids to worry about. Really, you'd be more of a trophy rather than a soldier to Slenderman.
The way to get back would more than likely be through natural portals or one of the mages "summoning" you back.
Cooley notes: Homelander is young and innocent. He doesn't understand the world like you do. He wants you to guide him. Please guide him.
“You know, you’ve always been my idol,” John muttered softly, hoping nobody else in the room could hear him. It was a Vought charity gala one of those pointless events that rarely gave any real money to charity. They just called it a charity gala so they’d have an excuse to party.
But this one was different. This gala was special. It was John’s first public introduction as Homelander. No longer confined to the isolating walls of the laboratory, he was finally out in the real world as a superhero. Homelander. A man who would fight for peace, love, and everything right for America.
He was excited to meet all the superheroes he’d seen on Vought’s TV broadcasts—the powerful, capable heroes he’d grown so attached to. Especially you. You were his light in the dark, his hero from beginning to end.
“I can’t believe I’m even here with you right now,” he said, voice trembling slightly. “That I’m standing next to you, that we’re face to face like this.”
You were practically everything to the people you protected. The Dark Knight. The Caped Crusader. The Bat. Many names, one legend. You were the mask, the cape, the symbol everything.
“Oh, really?” you hummed, uninterested. You didn’t like talking about your identity, especially in public. Even in costume, it felt like a sham like you were some kind of cosplayer pretending to be something greater. The world saw you as a hero to be upheld, but you knew better.
You looked at the doe-eyed blonde staring at you with awe and admiration.
“Well, it’s going to be an honor working with you in the future, Homelander,” you said, putting on a facade something an easygoing kid like him would mistake for warmth instead of polite distance. You didn’t really care. Everyone knew Batman didn’t care.
“Oh, please, you can call me John. Well, when we’re in costume, you can call me Homelander, but if we’re just like this, then—” He fumbled over his words like a shy kid, a few blonde strands falling into his face as he tried to explain himself.
“I get it,” you interrupted. “Fine then. If I can call you John, you can call me by my name. I think ‘Batman’ is too much of a mouthful.”
You gave him one of your signature smirks the same one plastered across every tablet and magazine cover. The kid nearly blushed.
“Of course, yes, that makes sense,” he stammered. “I mean, we’re going to be working together in the future, so it only makes sense.”
You stared into those deep baby-blue eyes for what felt like an hour, though it was only five minutes.
“Uh, is there something on my face?” he asked with a shy smile.
Synopsis: Me having fun and doing little headcanons. I've been doing a lot of asks and really wanted to do something else. This is based mostly on the Justice League cartoon.
Batman!reader: Who isn't the best at making conversation when they first meet the Justice League, but the second you make a small, niche reference that Wally knows, he starts yapping your ear off, and you can't help but match his freakish energy with your own little references as the two of you giggle endlessly, speaking in a language you both only understand. Who knew the big, brooding bat was into Rush Hour and White Chicks?
Batman!reader: Who can't fly and will have others carry you places if the Batjet is out of fuel. Diana will be holding you bridal style as you try not to blush. Hal puts you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, and you're literally yelling at him to put you down while blushing madly. Wally carries you on his back as he goes at high speeds, and Shayera will hold you with one arm like she's holding groceries. Clark will try to pick you up, but you get too flustered around him and refuse.
Batman!reader: Whose little Robin begs you to take her to the watchtower so she can see her favorite heroes? She's bouncing all over the place with excitement and squealing when she meets Superman or Captain Atom. She's taking pictures with everyone she meets, getting real shy trying to talk to the Question or Martian Manhunter, so she makes you get the picture or autograph for her. You'll have the members tell you it's not "Bring Your Kid to Work Day," but Oliver gets to bring his little Arrow, plus she's your equal.
Batman!reader: who asks some of the heroes to take care of their Robin, like going to Clark's apartment with your Robin at your hip, playing on her DS. "Can you take care of her for me? I have an important meeting to go to. I'm sorry to bother you on your day off. I'll make sure to take your shift." Clark, completely whipped by you, agrees on the spot and is great with kids; she'll come back sleeping on his shoulder, and you're surprised how he got her to sleep. Booster offers to take care of your Robin, and she's quite the handful, almost blowing up his penthouse, but seeing you smile at him with a look of appreciation makes the $10,000 damage worth it.
Batman!reader: Who stays up all night finishing a case and now is all sleepy, using their cape as a blanket or using Hal's shoulder as a place to rest their head. He'll stay still for you and pretend like it never happened. You'll wake up dazed and confused and see him on the other side of the watchtower, acting all nonchalant. If Kyle is around, he'll sketch your face and give you the drawing you teased him about posing for. He got super excited—really excited.
Batman!reader: Who has different suits for different seasons and events? In winter, you have a suit with a fuzzy scarf and fur-lined cape to keep you warm. You nuzzle your face into the scarf, and the League thinks it's adorable how easily you get cold. Or you have a portable fan in your suit when it gets hot. During fall, you have a hoodie instead of a cowl—you've got to stay fashionable. Even when you're an undercover vigilante.
Batman!reader: Who has snacks in their utility belt for your little Robin and Wally? She'll come to you thirsty, and you'll pull out juice boxes for your little bird. And Wally doesn't have something to snack on? You have protein bars for him to eat and energy drinks ready. He literally owes you everything, and it's honestly insane because you keep your smoke bombs near your lollipops, which are next to your batarangs. You might accidentally give your Robin a smoke bomb or batarang when they ask for a snack.
