“Napoleon’s Battle Plan” the twenty third episode of the first season of Sports Night, is the best episode of the show in my opinion for these scattered reasons…
One of Dan’s first lines in the episode: “We’re grown men with important jobs who are standing in our underwear. Let’s sing a song”.
Dan wondering if there are people in the building across the street who can see them in their underwear.
When told that Casey and Dan don’t have their pants, Dana asks if there was an industrial accident that claimed the lives of both their pants.
The show showing it can be dated AF that when Dana couldn’t sleep she studied a catalogue… is there anything more 90s than a catalogue
“You cracking wise with me now?” Dan has so many good lines this episode
Casey, detailing the titular battle plan of Napoleon’s: “First we show up. Then we see what happens”
Dan: That was his plan?….. Against the Russian army?”
Dan:….. Almost hard to believe that he lost”. Bwahahahahaha
Dan being adorable pestering Casey to talk to Dana.
Casey protests that it isn’t the manly thing to do to tell Dana- Dan suggests “then do it in a deep voice” in the most POUTY way possible.
The split second between when Dan tells Natalie about Sally and Gordon and Natalie running out of the room to tell Dana.
Dana is wayyyyy too calm upon being told that Gordon slept with Sally. Even Dana muses she wouldn’t think that she would be this calm.
Could that be because Gordon is the worst and Dana doesn’t even want to marry him a little bit.
Cause seriously Gordon is the worst.
And the first thing he asks is if Casey told her.
Did I mention that Gordon is the worst-
And as a general rule, don’t ever preface something with “this part is funny, actually” or anything that sounds like that. It’s pretty much guaranteed the other person will not find it funny.
“It would never happen when we were married”. Really words that should accompany any proposal.
DANA AND SALLY’s CONFRONTATION.
Because Sally is absolutely right- it IS none of Dana’s business if Casey and Sally are doing the do. Gordon is another story but Casey is none of her business.
And the best part- Dana realizes this! While Sally is telling her off, Dana says out loud that Sally is right and Dana is embarrassed for herself for confronting Sally like this.
Sally looks confused for a moment like she’s wondering if this might be a trick. And she in a very gentle way says what Dana desperately needs to hear: Dana isn’t upset, or really cares that Sally slept with Gordon. No, Dana cares that Sally slept with Casey.
This episode and the Ordnance Tactics did a good job of making Sally more than just a leggy siren.
Cause it’s hard not to tell feel for Sally when she matter of factly states that the man she’s been sleeping with for two months doesn’t care for her, and she is aware of this.
Seriously this scene is so good all the way through- just outstanding writing and acting from Felicity and Brenda.
It has dawned on Dan that telling Natalie wasn’t the best idea.
Not just because Natalie went and told Dana, but because now it’s come out about Casey and Sally in addition to Sally and Gordon.
To quote Miss Chanandler Bong- can open, worms, everywhere!
And Casey does not know about ANY OF THIS.
He has been mercifully unaware, behind the closed doors of his and Dan’s office, working away.
Dan is the meme of the little kid who is waking up his parents to tell them he threw up here.
There are a lot of times in the show where Dan seems like the little brother, never more so than when he fills Casey in, which is so amazing once again I need to transcribe it.
Dan: I told Natalie. Natalie told Dana.
Casey: Oh, boy! Who would’ve thought!
Dan: Dana told Gordon, Dana told Sally. Of course, Sally already knew-“
Dan is such a cute dork I love that he adds of course Sally already knew… and then comes my least favorite line of the episode.
Casey explodes, “you’re a woman, you know that? I’m gonna stick you under a hair dryer!”
Like really Aaron Sorkin? You nailed it with the Dana/Sally talk and then make this stupid ass joke- what does this even mean?
Dana and then Casey both kicking Dan out of the office.
Elliot and Kim telling Casey they’d like to hear his tawdry tales later as he and Dana walk through the newsroom.
The heartbreak Dana packs into “Sally… Sally?”
Casey’s wry observation of “you’re a lot of fun to share an office with today, you know that?” When Dan mentions this time it’s his fault that he and Casey are without pants.
Dan: (as he and Casey walk through the newsroom without pants) Those are nice boxers.
And Casey’s plan has come to fruition. They showed up- now they’ll see what happens.
Technically, an anchor is a job you could do pantless- you sit behind a desk the whole time.
I really hope this was readable, whenever I rewatch Sports Night this is the episode I’m always most excited to get to- I usually rewind the scene where Dan admits everything to Casey a few times lol.
