Think about this for a moment. You have one country where mages are free and powerful, and they're oppressed everywhere else. Your options are, A: run and hide forever--not fun, I can assure you; B: get locked up for your whole life; C: go live freely where magic is revered. So all the mages who decide they've had enough? They all go there.
So Tevinter, then, becomes a magnet for teenagers who have finally left home to go to college.
OF COURSE IT'S A MADHOUSE.
- modern!GarrettHawke (bearwich), on why Magisters being assholes is a terrible argument for mages being imprisoned in the Circles
Am I the only one who is pissed off that there isn't a dwarven romance option at all, in DA:I? /Again/? I just don't get it. It's fine if Varric isn't romanceable. Fine. /Fine./ But there should be a dwarven option. I would think the devs were just lazy and didn't want to adjust scenes to fit the height differential, but since you can still have a dwarven Inquisitor, clearly that isn't the issue. Someone give me a goddamn dwarven LI. *folds arms* Please and thank you. Cheers, Bear.
I rather doubt you’re the only one, and it does seem particularly odd given that there is a romanceable qunari this time!
It’s not something I’m personally upset about (surprising probably no one) but I can understand why you would be. @_@
Envy: a headcanon about your character’s secret desires and jealousies
Keita wishes she had magic. She wanted to be her father’s daughter, the next Keeper of her clan— she wanted to have his legacy live on, beyond the cautionary tale of yet another elvhen life taken by the shemlen. And magic was meant to be passed on in bloodlines, so it was an undercurrent towards Mahariel’s childhood, waiting to see if she was show the signs of magic.
And she didn’t.
But Merrill did, Merrill had magic, became the Keeper’s First. And Keita watched her learn to use her magic, knew that she was less important because she didn’t even have the magic of her father’s blood— and her own mother chose to walk away, leaving her with nothing tangible to remember them or honor them. Keita loves Merrill, adores her friend in every way, but does occasionally still get that pang of envy about her friend’s magical abilities.
When did Saturday cartoons get so weird? I haven't had access to a television in years but man... they let kids watch these? I think this one's main character is a talking phallus.
Send ✉ for a text that wasn’t sent
HE CANNOT SUPPRESS ME FOREVER.
Send ☎ for a rushed text
didYou know hanged brs have cologne samples? isit just me or does thadseem weirdly highbrow? okay templar patpassed. latr.
Send ☏ for a loving text
I'm proud of you, Garrett. If nothing else I've said or ever will say locks into your mind, I want you to make sure that that stays. I don't think you hear it enough. I am proud of you and honored to have been your friend.
Send ⁇ for a drunk text
Hogtied hedgehogs huddling. HUGGLING. hufflepuff.
Send ø for a late night text
You, me, water balloons and your uncle leaving work in t-minus fifteen minutes?
Send ✘ for a hateful text
I didn't actually send that email to Cousland, you know? Next time check with Nathaniel. He's the actual asshole. I just play one on TV.
YOU GOT A PICTURE OF THAT TIME I WAXED MY TUMMY? Maker I was drunk.
Yes. You would not stop showing people your stomach. It was very strange. At least no one asked if you got anything else waxed, otherwise you might have been in trouble for public indecency.
In the Wild West your muse is the sheriff, mine is the outlaw — we have a bitter rivalry that turns into a stand off.
Any other town and Keita would have not been allowed to be a sheriff. Outside of Sabrae, a woman was not considered strong enough to be in a position of power— not to mention that the Dalish were barely even allowed to hold a job. Inferior to the shemlen, foolish as that thought was. Still, the world was changing, so towns like Sabrae were dying out more and more, despite the best efforts of Mayor Marethari and her protégée. But it was also why shemlen thieves pissed Keita and her Tamlen, her deputy, off so much. Their town struggled enough, they didn’t need any others barging in and stealing the rewards of their hard work.
"Aw, c’mon. It was just a little ink!"
"Shut it, you!" Tamlen shot back immediately, glaring at the man behind bars. Keita leaned back in her chair, saying nothing.
They’d allowed him in the town before, much as Keita had protested the action. The mayor overruled her, seeing the opportunity for the town to get some extra trade, even sending Merrill along with him to see what was going on in the towns around them. And to let the townspeople forget about that incident with the mirror, but that wasn’t talked about much.
Keita didn’t like the scruffy outsider. She’d long suspected that a few of the missing things around town were because of him— and not just because their disappearances coincided with his visits. No, there was something suspicious about him and his scruffy, outsider face. She just had to wait until he slipped up, until his charm wouldn’t let him talk his way out of it.
But no matter how much she disliked him, she never expected him to take the ink. The ink that was practically sacred to them, vital to the rites of passage of their people and damn hard to get more of, nowadays. Keita had caught him red handed, taking a sample after Ilen had warned her that the shem had been asking around about it. So she gladly clapped him in irons and threw him in jail, calling it a good day’s work.
Now he wouldn’t shut up. And it was driving Keita insane, annoyed as she was at the constant noise in her damn office. Tamlen’s inability to ignore the taunts, jokes, pleas, etc didn’t exactly help. Keita sighed and got up, grabbing the man’s gun belt from the hook on the wall and tossing it to him as she unlocked his cage door. “Up. Sentence will be death, but I will allow you to defend yourself. One shot only. Let us go.”
"Wait, doesn’t this kind of thing only happen at noon? Isn’t that a thing? Do I get a lawyer? Final meal? Bear hug? Hooker? Something? Helloooo?" Keita ignored him and Tamlen’s objections, instead walking out into the street to begin. The man, Garrett was it? Jogged to keep up with her. "You know, guns aren’t really my thing. I only carry this to seem more intimidating, scare off the bandits. Doesn’t really work though. Look, I don’t want to fight you, I was just doing an errand. So we’ll call it good, laugh it off, go our separate ways?"
One room. Kitchenette. Bath. Appliances and furniture included.
Stove, semi-functional. Refrigerator stained pink by unspeakably foul paint-thinner-esque beverage. Washer and Drier units might be stained with blood but perfectly sanitary. Dishwasher moved out with previous tenants.
Keep hash browns in back, left cabinet in case of recurring leak in front bathroom wall from upstairs neighbors. Make for great spackle.
Bathtub too small and uncomfortable for baths. Presence of hot-water in shower, unlikely. Prep for lukewarm at best.
Back wall has seen significant damage from what appear to be multiple blade punctures. Large collection of nail holes and irretrievable nails over end of bed where something heavy was once anchored.
Bed… well used, in spite of notation in lowest shelf at the back of it.
Elissa paused here, picking up her pen and glancing at the notation, which read: “Elissa Romilde Cousland and Garrett Gordon Hawke did not have sex here, and it was legendary. Guardian, 9:31, Dragon Age.”
With a smile she crumpled up the paper on the book in her lap, dropping both into the floor and taking a drink of her beer. “I’m keeping the apartment, Garrett.”
"Really?" The bathroom door smacked against the wall when he dashed back through it, a poorly managed but very emotional smile on his face.
"Yes really. Who would want this dump? Look at it!"
He nodded, his smile erupting full on. “Its the worst apartment. You’d never find a tenant.”
"Did you want to go to bed and not have sex some more?"
"Can I still grope your boobs?"
She rolled her eyes and sat down her beer in the shelf they’d marked, shrugging off her jacket and lying down. “Have I ever said no?”
"Once, but I think you’d been bitten and I’d really prefer not to think about the reasons behind that." He answered, tugging off his shirt and crawling in beside her.
"Don’t ruin the moment." She snorted, rolling over on her side, not even flinching when he wrapped his hand around her breast and sighed into her ear a sound of pure contentment.
"Apartment taken." He squeezed once and kissed at her hair before settling down to sleep.
Keita had appeared at an early hour, knocking incessantly at the door. She would have slipped in through the window, but she was a bit worried that the inhabitants had set up traps against such entry... Losing a limb to this particular venture seemed wasteful. So she knocked. And knocked. And knocked, until Garrett groggily opened the door.
"Come, bear-shem! I require your assistance immediately- get dressed, we must move!" Keita's agitation was unusual for her, hopping on the balls of her feet as though ready to run at the slightest provocation.
"Maker's breath, Keita-"
"Go! Dress! Now! Please, bear-shem." Maybe it was something in the tone of her voice, or in the agitation rather than hostility she was displaying, or maybe it was the 'please'. But Garrett moved, returning to the door while still pulling on clothes. Keita immediately set off, taking some of the fastest paths out of the city.
--
Keita led them up the Sundermount, deep into the forests on it, towards the caves that spotted along the mountain. She tried to slow her normal pace to accommodate Garrett, but was pleasantly surprised that it seemed unnecessary. The man was more than capable of keeping up with her, which made things easier for her nerves. There were no interruptions to their climb, Keita guiding them around any problem spots she knew usually held more hostile creatures as the sun climbed up into the sky above them.
Finally, there was a cry- not human, nor sounding at all like a person, but it caused Keita to blanch. She cursed briefly in her native tongue and redoubled their pace, leading Garrett into a clearing and ignoring his questions, much as she had the idle chatter he had tried to engage her in on the way up. They soon emerged in a clearing, the mouth of a cave nearby, and a wolf racing up to them almost immediately.
The wolf pressed his nose into Keita's hand, whining unhappily, as she stared towards the cave with wide eyes. There was a large brown lump-looking thing, its breath sounding labored and forced, which Keita hurried over to. She seemed to look it over, running her hands over its flanks, over its stomach, before finally looking back over at Garrett. "Bear-shem, meet the she-bear of this part of the mountain. Her den was attacked last night by shemlen. I know not what they were attempting to seek. But the ensuing scuffle led to her injury- which was enough to push her into labor early." The bear made a groaning noise again and Keita attempted to brush her hands through its fur as a calming gesture, Elgar'mi laying down to touch noises with the bear. "I do not know much of animal husbandry, not in this particular part. I avoided it. So, I need your help, bear-shem. She needs your help."
"I don't know how to help a bear give birth! I don't know how to help anyone give birth!" Garrett protested, still at the entrance of the clearing.
Keita looked at him incredulously, "What kind of bear are you?!"
"The kind that only has a nickname!"
"That is no helpful kind at all!"
"You're the brilliant one who brought me here!"
"It seemed like a good idea at the time!"
The bear started making noises again, this time not stopping, her whole form trembling. Elvhen, human, and wolf eyes fixed on her. Keita's eyes flashed to Garrett's again and this time he came over, kneeling down next to the elf. "What can I do?"
"Sit where I am and comfort her- I shall help with the cub itself." Keita gave a small smile, "You have my thanks, bear-shem." She moved to switch places with him, leaving him with the bear as it began another cry.
Garrett gave the mother bear a wary glance. "Er- hello."
The she-bear gave a wuffing sort of sigh, clearly in more pain than concerned with him. She made a sort of whining noise and Garrett's hand found itself in her fur almost of its own accord. The bear seemed to quiet again slightly, as she had earlier with Keita, seeming to enjoy the touch.
The bear made another groaning noise and Keita started rapidly speaking prayers to the Creators, slipping back and forth from Dalish to the common tongue. Suddenly, she was at Garrett's side, the drawn look she'd had before replaced with joy, placing the small, hairless cub at its mother's side where it nestled in. She smiled at the sight, nudging Garrett lightly with her elbow. "I believe I begin to understand why you are named as a bear."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yes." Keita turned her smile to him, "Though you closer resemble the cub than the full grown bear."
"Oh sure, I'm the hairless one?"
"Hairy for a shem- human, yes. Less impressive when compared to an actual bear."
"Fair enough."
They sat in silence for a few minutes, watching the cub feed for the first time with its mother's assistance. The she-bear, when satisfied that the cub was feeding as he should, then nudged at Garrett's hand. Keita chuckled, feeling Elgar'mi finally leave his post to curl up with her and watching Garrett. "It seems you have made a friend. Two, really. And I owe you both ma serranas and a debt."
"Don't abandon me to find my way back home in this forest and we'll call it even for now, yeah?"
"Clever shemlen, ruining all my fun." Keita smirked, "Did you wish to leave now?"
Garrett looked down, feeling the weight of the bear's head on his lap and wondered at the morning he'd been having so far. "Maybe not yet."
