German football family tree
Disclaimer: You’d say I’m crazy. YES I AM
If you can‘t see the letters well: this file
About Fritz Walter/Helmut Rahn
I hesitated a little. Because the two really have nothing to do with FC Bayern. However, I decided to connect the lineage of 'the best German footballers of the time'.
Helmut Rahn/Fritz Walter is the ship that I propagandize. A sensitive and prone to self-doubt captain and a positive younger man who never worries tomorrow.😋 Besides, they were roommates.
It’s quite plausible that after the WC 1954 final(“Wunder von Bern”) Rahn pestered Fritz, demanding the prize since he scored the winning goal, and pounced on his captain lol
And Mr. Herberger had a gun ready, but joyful Helmut probably asked for his son’s hand without giving Sepp time to take it out🤣
About Franz Beckenbauer ships
As for Franz Beckenbauer/Gerd Müller, I have clamored legal wife headcanon: Franz would be the one who cheated and sought a divorce, but he would eventually return and hold Gerd till the end of the line blah blah
A strategic relationship with Netzer. I mean, FCB and BMG had to join forces for national team, especially at Euro 1972.
Kaiser Franz and König Johan look really good together.. Somewhere between lovers and fwb. A mature, healthy, drama-free relationship, at least on the surface. But ofc both of them secretly would feel anxious and upset to some extent.
Johan Cruyff & Marco van Basten is one of the relationships I’m interested in. Lowkey creepy master-disciple or father-son🫣
Probably the cause of all this is the fact that Franz loved Gerd and Johan the same — at least so much that he didn't really know which one to choose if he must do only one. In other words, the fact that he couldn’t keep it in his pants…🥲
About Karl-Heinz Rummenigge’s relationship
Paul Breitner, Michel Platini, Uli Höneß, Giuseppe Bergomi… I apologize to KHR. It was inevitable to make him crazy bitch to proceed with the story…
Actually I ship Franz/Kalle. But my favorite interpretation is 'Kalle admired Franz all his life and wanted to be like him. Unrequited love.’ so I think this will be fine too. So I added "Electra Complex?"
Originally, my headcanon is that Kalle kissed(and did something more) with Paul on the spur of the moment… on the day he was rejected by Franz.
But in here I think it must have meant to rebel against father. In fact, it's quite attractive that the freaky Paul adored Kalle. I’ve claimed that their relationship would have been like a kind of courtly love.
It's natural that the best fullbacks in Germany are related by blood. That’s why Fips became Paul’s son (and why I cast Andy Brehme as Karl-Heinz Schnellinger’s son).
Everyone was against it, but Kalle pushed for the marriage with Michel. And in the end, it was a sad ending. Even if it didn't end in the worst.
After the Seville thriller, the two drifted apart, but Mats was born before they were still divorced. The reason I made him Kalle’s son is he was Bayern at first and came back (though he left soon), and that he and Kalle are(were) both stunningly good-looking. And since Mats is CB, it would be reasonable to see his father as one of the Italian defenders (I support Giuseppe Bergomi).
Kalle, who was pure and cute, became venomous through the storms of the world. And he once believed that just love would be enough but no longer believes in love.
Höneß sold Kalle to Italy for FC Bayern, but that doesn't mean he doesn't love his princess. Even if it's not love like loml, they will be the last love of each other.
About Uli Höness, Mehmet Scholl, Jupp Heynckes, and Berti Vogts
In the early plan, Breitner and Höneß were brothers (then Kalle would be a crazier being...). Someone strongly requested Breitness’ kid, but I couldn't draw a triangular family tree.. So I cast Scholl (reasons: sparkling genius and creativity, not as big as expectations, and weird character) who we originally thought as Breitness’ son as Jupp’s son.
As for my thoughts on Scholli’s relationship, please read this post.
Why did I make Berti-Jupp couple? See it
The time for a burning, all-consuming love has long passed. What suits Kalle/Uli/Jupp now is a more measured relationship — lukewarm and habitual, yet steady and comfortable. They can just go on living together. Of course, it wasn’t always peaceful.
About Lothar Matthäus/Jürgen Klinsmann
At first, Lothar was just Franz’s son, like Kalle. And I thought it would be awesome if he was a child of Netzer. Midfielder position and BMG connection. I prefer Netzerath, though. Let's just say that DFB promoted the successor project in 1972…
Also I wanted Berti Vogts to be Lothar’s godfather. Since he said Berti was his childhood idol. And then we could cast Jupp as his bonus dad😊
Franz knew full well that Lothar and Klinsi didn’t get along, but he still set up them. And they married 5 times and divorced 5 times..
I support this headcanon: Perhaps Franz saw them as some kinda himself and Gerd 2.0. Lothar was his rightful heir, and Klinsi was the (golden or blond)bomber. He and Gerd were not always on the same page, but they managed to get along anyway. So he thought that Lothar and Klinsi could somehow get along with each other..
Noisy divorces and much noisier reunions. I love the interpretation that they've never been in a relationship, but I like this one more.
I couldn't draw it because there wasn’t enough space, but Klinsi’s first love was Guido Buchwald or Karl Allgöwer. And he had dated with Joachim Löw. I thought about adding that he and Rudi were fwb and eventually remained friends, but discarded the idea. (Credits to darrus’ <Perhaps love> and <Camel> series)
According to @kiestris "Ballack is their child, but because his parents didn’t get along, he was handed over to Brehme and Völler to be raised. This explains why Ballack’s style is so similar to Lothar’s, why he was made captain by Klinsi, why he debuted at Kaiserslautern where Brehme was, and why he rose to fame at Leverkusen under Völler’s lead." Thank you for inspiring me!
I’ve adored strong midfielders who resemble tanks. That's why I put Basti in this family tree lol. Basti was raised by Uli and Kalle. Like Ballack’s case. I’ve loved Lahmsteiger, but always thought they were brothers and comrades. So it's good that the two grew up together as cousins and step-brothers..
The plot is that Toni was born in one of their break-up phases. I think his biological dad is Lothar, but it's okay if it's someone else. He was raised by Uli and Jupp. It seems that Lothar and Klinsi only give birth to children and leave the upbringing to others.😔
About neuller & kimmetzka & wusiala & pavlobig
For me, neuller is the ‘arranged-marriage-but-fell-in-love’ vibe itself. Bayern bosses must have wanted to keep the promising goalkeeper, and DFB would have supported this marriage.. But Manu and Thomas fell in love and created the golden age. (Although I couldn't draw due to lack of space, Muller's first love would have been Mario Gomez. Credit to @after-mid-nigth thank u)
After putting every headcanons, including Thomats as stepbrothers and Goretzka as Hömmels’ son, in this family tree Joshua and Leon they got married as cousins.. eh…. let’s just move on😓
We’re in wusiala breakup era, but I ban it here!
I seriously thought about whether to make Urbig neuller’s son, but I couldn't abandon the narrative of the heir to Bayern and the promising keeper from NRW. History repeats itself🙌
Also, I'm very interested in Aleks/Tom, but it seemed that the current setting would be better on the family tree
This is absolutely just my rambling, so please share if you have a different opinion. I love hearing other people’s thoughts and headcanons about our team.
And if you are interested in classic German football (rpf), come here! We always welcome you😄
