Well, I wake up early today and quickly took a bath and have my breakfast. Since every Sunday morning I have this dance practice. I was quite energetic this morning despite sleeping late at night. I started my day happily; I think I smiled a lot this morning. Today is kind of different from last Sunday, since I came early and not late like before.
After the dance practice and what not, I phoned my father to fetch me and he took us (me and my sisters) to some food court where we eat again (yeah, breakfast) since we only ate bread early morning and also because my father wanted to donate his blood.
So, we went back to the place I had my practice since they held the event (donating blood) there. And I met some of my acquaintance and friends there, well, obviously. I met someone who came up and strike a conversation with me. She was like a senior to me, and she said that my face could be treated with some kind of a Nano Spray (yep, I have pimple here in my face). She talked and talked about this product, until she said the price for it⌠itâs 2.4 million!
I think I look uninterested when she told me about this, thatâs why she didnât send me anything when she said she will sending things to me via line or what. And, since I canât contain my curiousness to this product⌠I search it in the internet. Well, it was âtoo good to be trueâ and I kind of believe it.
My mother went to Canada for holiday since a family stayed there. As usual, we facetimed my mom tonight. Then, I told her about this product and she told me NO. I was a bit dejected for some reasons because you could say I really hope this thing could help me became beautiful. Yeah.
Then, my mother let me talk to my grandma instead since my mother wanted to help my aunt there. My grandma trying to make conversation with me, asked me about my piano lesson (my grandma could only see my face , I guess.). She also told me how my cousin played well in piano and talked about a lot of music related things.
Feeling dejected before and now talking about things I am not good at⌠made me even more depressed. I started to cry quietly and try to avoid having my face seen by my grandma. I even did not look at her and pay attention only to my phone. My younger sister noticed and asked me, but I shushed them. Then, one of them took the Ipad and talked to my grandma instead.
I started to cry even more but still quietly.
I donât know why I could cry that much. But, my grandma seems to have the ability to make me guilty. I admit that I only played around on my semester holidays and it seriously made feel so depressed. I only watch film with my sisters. And when my grandma told me to practice playing the piano⌠I just feel guilty and I blame myself for it.
I guess sometimes people blame others so that they could feel better and maybe not get hurt. I always do that and when the time comes for me to point my finger to no one⌠I am the one in fault. Because this is my life to begin with, why am I so LAZY to just practice? But, honestly, playing music is frustrating to me especially when I canât do it right. I really hate myself for that and always told myself to be patient.
PS. I need music. Feel better after pouring this out.
