Tasting notes from a recent Glasgow Whisky Tour.
Nose: A carpet of extinguished cigars
Body: Davina McCall pre first pregnancy
Finish: Johnny Rep's second goal for Holland against Scotland in the 1978 World Cup which took the sheen off Gemmell's legendary effort moments earlier.
Colour: Michael Jackson circa 1992
Nose: A Farmer's raincoat drying out in the utility room.
Body: Les Dawson' Mother-in-law
Finish: Gary Caldwell's lunging, slightly fortuitous goal against France, that despite it's bludgeoned delivery resulted in sheer delight.
Colour: Tuesday Morning No. 1
Nose: Sunday Morning No. 2
Finish: Chris Iwelomu against Norway, if he turned his heel 5mm more to the right
Colour: Tea with no milk on a Scotrail service.
Nose: The steam from boiled Hippo's tears.
Body: Vacuum packed Sumo Wrestler
Finish: Stephen McManus' blush sparing header in the last minute against Liechtenstein.
Colour: Caramel Keg wrapper
Body: Lorraine Kelly 1995