Flower asks: Rhododendron
RHODODENDRON: What’s the scariest dream you’ve ever had?
when i was in the 4th grade i had a dream that my family decided to do this big fancy family reunion in napa. (4th grade molly was already very interested in Winecations.) we were going to this hotel that looked off the chaaaarts in the brochures but when we got there it was this like, run-down horrible old folks home where they were very clearly running some kind of scam to get old peoples’ money? like dream mollyhall didn’t do a full investigative report or anything but you just KNEW they were giving people too much medicine or not enough medicine or only feeling them tripe or some other cruel & unusual malarky.
SO ANYWAY i was somehow the only one in my family who noticed that this place was a hellhole? the rest of my family was like “stop being so ungrateful we came here for you” and i was like “we went to napa for me??? i would not……..have chosen napa” and they were like “SHUT UP AND PLAY SHUFFLEBOARD WITH YOUR UNCLE GARY” (i don’t have an uncle gary).
and at one point we were all sitting in the dining hall enjoying a HORRIBLE meal that had REALLY WEIRD SHIT in it when uncle fester from the addams family just pulled up a chair and sat down and was like, “it’s me! uncle fester!”
“you’re not a part of our family,” i explained, but uncle fester got SO MAD. he shoved back his chair and stormed off and my family was livid with me. how could i be SO RUDE to uncle fester??????????? he was my BLOOD KIN??
but nobody would listen to me! they all totally believed that uncle fester was a part of our family, even though i knew, in my heart of hearts, that he was CONNING US and wanted to MURDER SOMEONE. how did i know this? idk, i just did. and no matter how many times i tried to warn everybody that uncle fester wanted to murder all of us, they didn’t listen to me. “shut up and eat your weird goop, mollyhall!!!!”
so then some indeterminable amount of dream-time later, i noticed that one of my dream-aunts was missing from the festivities (we were standing in a room not speaking, which at this hotel was considered a festivity). and i KNEW. I KNEW. UNCLE FESTER HAD GOTTEN TO HER. i tried to tell everybody this but as usual they were like, “you know nothing jon snow,” so i had to gather evidence. to do that i went to my missing dream-aunt’s room and LO AND BEHOLD THERE SHE WAS, DEAD AS A DOORNAIL. i will not describe in detail how very dead she was, but trust me!!!! it was very dead and horrible!!!!
i started screaming and everyone came running in, including uncle fester, and i was pointing at him and explaining that he had VERY AGGRESSIVELY KILLED MY DREAM-AUNT, but everyone believed that i had done it and couldn’t believe i was blaming dear uncle fester and then the police came and tried to arrest me so i jumped out a window.
when i jumped out of the window i landed in this weird doctor-who-opening-sequence wormhole thing that had a lot of butterflies in it. idk. that part was weird.
