When art college/university professors become assholes instead of guides.
WARNING. THIS IS A LONG POST.
Look, I don’t want my blog to be about this anymore than it should. We all have them and I’m no different. I’m in University for art. I’m a senior/4th year student in a thesis class. Very briefly, I don’t go to a school dedicated to simply art. Art at my school is one of the many departments (there’s science, psychology, math, literature, language, etc) and it is VERY conceptual and gallery based. I have absolutely ZERO problems with that. Any character drawings I do are put to the side to really work on school projects and sometimes I sneak in some of my preferences, such as doll related things, into my work. I have trouble thinking conceptually, but it doesn’t mean that I can’t think conceptually at all.
To be fair, my goal is to be a children book illustrator. So I’m not really aiming to be a gallery artist. It’s nice to know and understand how to make artwork that’s based on conceptual ideas. However, I’m choosing a different route for my skills to be put to use. Although this might be shallow of me to say this, but drawing and sculpture are my concentrations, with sculpture being more of a supplement than it is a major concentration like drawing. I can’t do photography to save my life and video making, while I liked doing that when I was younger (where’s my 2010 Vegas Pro community at), I can’t see myself doing that sort of thing professionally. I can paint, sure, but I don’t exactly particularly enjoy it unless it’s for a sculpture or a painting for fun. Where I truly want to hone my skills are with drawing, primarily with colored pencil. With sculpture, I want to make dolls.
So, where to actually start with this...
When art college/university professors become assholes instead of guides.
You heard me right. Not saying this for all art professors. The ones I have are all practicing artists and I’ve met some really good ones that push you harder than ever. As for the one I’m talking about right now, here’s the problem:
Instead of helping me push my skills in the medium I want to push myself in, this teacher tosses the idea of my drawing concentration out the window and wants me to perform my piece instead.
My project is simple: create short stories and create an illustration that embodies each one. Choice and consequence are my themes.
I mentioned earlier that I am in a thesis class. This project is for said thesis class. Generally, a thesis refers to a paper/essay/presentation of facts and arguments for some majors such as political science that span over about 60+ pages. For art at my school, thesis is a class where each student works on a project or multiple projects and at the end of the school year, they present it in a show all together and then we all critique each other later. I have 2 professors this semester for the class. One is OK in help and the other is just... demotivating. They’ll be switched out for different professors for next semester, but in the end it just... whatever.
Going back to my project. Besides the idea itself and deeper meaning at hand, it’s still got a long way to go. I presented some of the stories and to be fair, the teachers were delighted. OK professor says for my drawings to not be direct illustrations as it would take away from how the writing is presented (confusing in a good way). She told me to not outlaw performance or sculpture, but to also not rely too heavily on drawings. I agree with OK professor, so my idea is to work around the drawings and possibly incorporate a sculptural element. She was also supportive of me in my decision to make the drawings a decently large scale.
HOWEVER.
The other professor, DEMOTIVATE (for short, DEEMOH), tells me to throw drawing completely out the window and just present the writings as my artwork by practically doing a performance. I have DEEMOH as a teacher in a sculpture class. He actually got me from wanting to have people involved with my work to having me perform. And let me tell you, it isn’t fun to see that pattern I assure you.
Look, I don’t know if I sound super stubborn about wanting to draw but I really don’t think that’s how a person in a teaching position is actually aiding you to push your work. It’s one thing to give options to guide you, listening to you. It’s another do the opposite, ignoring your input, not providing any steps to take to jumpstart your idea and put it on paper.
OK was pretty okay in helping me. Not as helpful as I would like, but still better than DEEMOH, who just shuts out your whole entire art concentration. There is just no constructive input from DEEMOH about drawing. It was all perform-perform-perform. I’m not saying I don’t want to perform. In fact, I want to consider it because of the writing. But when only one agenda is pushed, it legitimately shuts me down. At one point, he told me I should make a video of the performance. I know this is probably me being dramatic, but that honestly sounded like an insult to my skills.
FOR 2 MONTHS I ACTUALLY PRODUCED NOTHING BECAUSE OF THIS.
All I had the ability was to write more stories. No drawings. Just stories. I was at a creative standstill and I got severely conflicted about what to do. I felt like crap all the time and whenever I entered class my heart sank, terrified about what we’re gonna do.
“But your writings are drawings!”
He told me that. I’m down with anything being called art, drawing, or whatever. But when it is said in such a way to get me to simply perform an act, it’s demeaning to the actual skills and labor and work I want to put out as an artist. I’m not saying that performance is easy; I think it’s super difficult and I get stage fright. What I’m saying is that instead of aiding me in trying to push my skills, this professor is simply rejecting it. How would you feel if your teacher told you the same thing?
“But what if he said that because you’re too comfortable with drawing!”
There’s a difference between getting too comfortable with the drawing and wanting to push your drawing skills. I chose drawing, not only because I am good at it and am comfortable with it, but because I want to be able to push myself with the medium in order to get the highest quality work out of it possible. I do sculpture, but my skill within sculpture is really just making dolls and figurines and I have so much to learn when it comes to that. There’s such a thing as knowing how to do draw with colored pencil, with ink, with pencil, with graphite, with charcoal, and even with pastel. There’s also such a thing to know to draw and paint, but in painting you have watercolor, acrylic, oil. You can know how to use these mediums, but it doesn’t mean you know how to push all these mediums to their utmost potential without years and years of using them.
Like a lot of people out there, I was, predominantly, a self-taught artist. It took me 5-6 years (aged 13-18 or 19) to learn how to draw a decently proportional figure with graphite. Even then it might not be perfect. It took me 4 years to learn colored pencil (Aged 16-20) and I STILL have to teach myself on it and test it on other things. I can do charcoal albeit it isn’t on the level of professionals. I know how to paint well with acrylic and I know how to use oils and render an image with detail. I can use ink for outlining better than painting with it. In the end, I chose drawing with colored pencil because it’s the medium I want to master for the work I want to get into. I know digital swooped in to take the pedestal of traditional drawing in many areas, especially in the line of work I want to get into, but it doesn’t mean I’ll be getting into digital straight away and this is another argument for another time.
In the end, I strayed away from my original rant about a useless teacher. In the end I’m complaining about something that will be temporary. In the end, I just lost precious time because I was lost. In the end, I hope this will all work out.
And in the end, I hope all of you do not have to deal with the same bullshit I have to go through in my thesis class.
