#bffery

[tinyspiritz]

bff-date: feeding each other sushi, buying each other wigs and browsing the lcbo for cheap beer that pairs well with dollarstore children's wigs

[psqqa]

The beauty of visiting friends is that while I really do want to go around DC and visit museums and all that shit, we could literally sit here in the living room all week and just chat about fandom and isms and how fucked we all are and I would still feel like I've had a great fucking week.

I just like hanging out with my friends ok.

[tinyspiritz]

last night my bestie and i recreated this classic moment in history by dressing up as mauled fabio and the dead bird

[tinyspiritz]

that horrifically awkward moment when you learn that one of yr besties has never heard sinead's nothing compares 2 and you begin to question your compatibility. and then you realize that getting to share their first experience of the life changing anthem/serenading them at the top of yr lungs can be nothing short of a miracle and will bond you for life. (true romance)

[diptzz]

i love my best friend

Robyn: mhmm night~

me: fksodfkds

Robyn: what happen to you now?

me: i am awesome.

Robyn: sounds like you fell off your chair

but okay

you're awesome

me: hahahaha

[lastforest]

Making Redd watch Mark Ruffalo videos

me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9_1Rt1R4xbM

arachnerd: noooooooooooooo

arachnerd: noooooooooooooooooooooooooo

arachnerd: hes like "LET ME SPEAK"

arachnerd: lmao

arachnerd: "WHAT?!" hahahha

arachnerd: /rolls around in emotions and no

arachnerd: the teddy bear

arachnerd: oh god

arachnerd: no................

arachnerd: oh god that was...

arachnerd: i dont have words for what my feelings are doing

arachnerd: but most of them are embarassed

[in-exo-rable-blog]

So-So exo-fandom/hunhan+baekhun!bffery/comedy+romance/PG-15/899wc

Author: Jae

Pairing: HunHan, BaekHun!bffery

Genre: romance, comedy

Rating: PG-15 for mild language and implied sexual situations

Word Count: 899 (this part)

A/N: This is the first part. I cut it in half, so the second cut will be up by tomorrow probably. Enjoy, like, follow, you know the drill:3

::So-so:: In which Sehun can’t stand his boss and Luhan can’t stay away. Baekhyun’s a not-so-good friend and Suho wants a promotion.

Sehun’s sitting in his office, calmly contemplating the act of murder and pondering how many years in prison he’d receive, as wanton moans bounce off the thin office walls and into his suffering ears.

Five minutes have passed and the moans morph into determined groans and muffled screams. Sehun’s waiting for the storm to end so he can get back to work.

Five more and Sehun’s had enough. His resentment just keeps piling up.

Thump. His fist pounds against the left wall and all movement behind it comes to an abrupt stop.

Seconds later, they’re back at it again, with renewed vigor.

It’s beyond sickening. Sehun drops his pen before seeking refuge in the restrooms in the bathroom on the thirteenth floor.

Staring into the bathroom mirrors as he pads his sweat dampened face with a handkerchief, Sehun finally makes the resolve to stand up against the corrupt ways of his boss.

~

“Hey,” Sehun looks up from stuffing his soiled cloth in his suit pocket to find Baekhyun, his coworker, leaning against his office door patiently. “What took you so long?”

“Needed to take a piss,” Sehun waits for the other man to move out of the way before he sniffles and unlocks the door, because even when he’s dizzy and nearly unconscious with the feeling of disgust, he always remembers to lock his door.

He enters the office, the other man following quickly after without invitation because they're that familiar with one another.

"Bullshit," Baekhyun announces casually, falling onto the expensive leather couch as he watches Sehun dump his body into the rolling chair behind the oak desk. "I bet you were just waiting."

"For what?" It really isn't even a question because they both know the answer.

"For Boss to finish banging his new clerk."

Sehun closes his eyes and rubs his temple, willing away the disgusting images that come to mind.

Baekhyun laughs obnoxiously; other than Sehun, he's the only person who knows of the company's Human Resources division director's activities. Whereas Sehun find its revolting to hear the constant screams and moans echoing through the thin wall erected between his and the head's office, Baekhyun finds it mildly amusing and good for small talk with the interns working in the Finance division building.

"If you're just going to make fun of my, then why don't you just leave now? Shouldn't you be working?" Sehun says exasperatedly, rubbing his face and glaring at the elder male still snorting in delight.

"Unlike your department, my employees can manage themselves. I just get paid for being here and looking fresh."

"Wow, nice to know some people can't find it in themselves to do what they're hired to do."

"Hey, got any drinks?" Baekhyun changes the subject swiftly.

Sehun stares in utter disbelief. "I don't drink alcohol on the job-"

"Not for you; For me!"

"Neither do I store any in my office."

The excited glint in Baekhyun's eyes fade. "Killjoy," he scoffs.

"Can you just get out? My headache is coming back..."

Finally, the part of Baekhyun that actually gives a flying fuck, reveals itself.

"Dude, if you really are bothered by the Boss' flings, why don't you just file a complaint?"

Sehun doesn't blink. "You've got to be joking."

"Uh-No, I'm not. You're the only one in this entire building that's scared of that baby-faced boy."

Sehun sighs and ignores the fact that Baekhyun just casually called their boss 'baby-faced'. It's not like he's scared of the Boss, but he has enough respect for his employer to be substantially intimidated. "But he's our boss for God's sake! And not only is he the director, but he's also the son of the company CEO! Is it only me that gives a shit?"

"Actually, yes," Baekhyun's too busy investigating his cuticles to make fun of the almost incredulous expression on Sehun's normally stoic face, "I mean, have you ever noticed how casual he acts towards those lower than him on the corporal ladder?"

When silence meets him, Beakhyun finally glances up to find Sehun furiously writing on to a document, ignoring the previous question.

"Earth to Sehun: did you hear what I just asked you?"

"Yeah."

"So?"

"Well," Sehun sighs and leans back into his chair. "I don't really talk to the director."

"You've never spoken to your own boss?" Baekhyun, who can see through all Sehun's lies, gasps in surprise.

"I have! I've said 'Hello' once or twice..."

"Wow, you really are a sad excuse for a man."

"I've only had this job for a month, I'm still getting into the swing of things."

"I'm not talking about that- For a person having such a high position in the company in a short amount of time, you're pretty tactless."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, if you're not that close to the Boss and you're too intimidated by his position to use a formal method, why don't you just confront him?"

"What?"

"Just tell him that you're having concentration issues when he's screwing people in his office. This way, you'll become closer to your employer, not be such a social outcast, and your headaches will go away."

"Oh yeah, I'll definitely keep my job that way."

"If all else fails, you can always blackmail the kid."

Kid?

Sehun rolls his eyes but decides that maybe a direct approach could work best.

[in-exo-rable-blog]

Volunteer exo-fandom/hunhan+kaihun!bffery/comedy/PG-13/708wc

Author: Jae

Pairing: HunHan!bffery, KaiHun!bffery

Genre: bffery, comedy

Rating: PG-13 for mild language

Word Count: 708

A/N: First EXO fic, and boy is my humor a fail... Please don't judge my innocent soul! /gets bricked/

::Volunteer:: In which Kai finds two of his closest band members in a situation that has the potential to take their relationship to a whole new level.

"It won't fit, hyung!"

"Don't be a girl."

"Seriously, unf-"

"Shut up, someone will hear you!"

"But it hurts!"

"Come on, I went through the same thing when I was younger. It isn't that bad."

"You've done this before?!"

"How do you think I'm so experienced? Hm?"

"Oh, I didn't think you had a clue what you were doing."

Luhan gasps exaggeratedly. "I resent that. Just hold still, you'll feel better. You just have to adjust..."

"Your lying, this hurts like fu-"

"Don't you dare curse."

"But hyung, you always-!"

"Who ever said I was an example to follow?"

"..."

"That's right."

"... But it hurts."

"Well you've got to fight through the pain. You'll feel good soon."

"... How are you so sure."

"I've done this a million times, I know what I'm doing!"

A brief silence blankets the room before a relieved sigh resounds and a slap on soft skin reverberates around the room.

"There, nice and snug. Feels nice, right?"

"I guess."

"Okay, let's go!"

Kai stands, back against the practice room door, eyes wide and unblinking. Fear grips him. He feels his mind racing and heart beating at the conversation he's currently being an eavesdropper of.

"But hyung, I don't think my leg is suppose to bend this way."

Once again, Luhan sighs. This time, he sighs in exasperation. "Deal with it, I already prepped you-!"

"What the hell is going o-" Kai, who mentally prepared himself to find his band mates in a very awkward situation, finds something almost as disturbing as his original thoughts behind the flimsy door.

All three fall silent as Kai assesses the situation.

It's Luhan that breaks the silence. "And what do you think you're doing here?"

Kai slumps visibly against the door, his gaze calm but still flickering between Sehun, the confused maknae, and Luhan, his visibly irritated hyung.

Even with the scene in front of his eyes, he doesn't have a clue what the two could have been doing moments earlier.

"Um-" Sehun begins, lifting himself up from his laying position by his elbows, but once again finds himself cut off.

"What are you guys doing?" Kai asks bluntly. It's almost 2 in the morning and Kai, who made his way to the SM building, had hoped to fit in some more dance practice. Instead, he became witness to-

"It's called yoga! 瑜伽!" Luhan rolls his eyes, slackens his grip on Sehun's eagle spread thighs, and pushes him away as he sprouts indiscernible Mandarin curses under his breath. He then proceeds to pack up his mat that Kai finally notices under them.

It's obvious that Luhan's tired. And Kai suddenly feels bad as he watches the elder walk out with his yellow, childish backpack and slim pinky finger high in the air raised towards the pair watching his departure wordlessly.

"So..." Kai turns back to Sehun, to find the other rolled over onto his stomach, face squished against the hardwood floor.

"Sorry hyung, Luhan hyung offered to show me the ropes since he always says it relieves stress. But I feel even more stressed out now... And my thighs hurt like a bitch-"

It's then that Kai drags his gaze lower to Sehun's backside.

"What the hell are you wearing?" Kai blurts out, shocked at the sight.

Sehun's sporting his regular sleeveless tee along with an article of black short-shorts that look both scandalously short and three sizes too small.

"Well hyung said these shorts would-"

Kai bursts out into laughter involuntarily and finds himself clutching his stomach in glee. "Dude, your ass looks like it's getting choked in that death trap you call shorts. I bet if you stood up, I could spot your junk! Seriously, it looks more like a hooker thong if you ask me!"

Sehun abruptly turns over and glares up at Kai through his flustered blush. Moments later, he cracks into a bout of giggles, unable to ignore the hilarity of the situation.

He's too exhausted to get up and unsurprisingly, the rest of EXO finds them both the next day, sleeping soundly in the practice room.