#bi labels

[bi-sapphics]

here’s a positivity post dedicated to bisexuals who use both butch/femme and doe/tomcat/stag because most of the discourse usually involves using one set or the other, and there’s no rule saying we can’t, or any sign that it’s contradictory, because they can both be a part of our intrinsic identities. femme does, femme tomcats, butch tomcats, and butch stags, you are all so cool and valid - they might even be nice alternatives to “futch” within our community if you’re uncomfortable with that term!! you are not wrong for using multiple labels, you are not biphobic for using the animal labels and you are not lesbophobic for using butch or femme. as long as you aren’t forcing the former on bi sapphics, especially woc, you’re good!!

- sincerely, a tomcat butch

[bi-sapphics]

what’s a tomcat?

kinda the "third/middle" option for doe & stag. initially part of the set to replace butch/femme for bi women (so tomcat = futch), cause, y'know, the whole history of "bisexuals can't do this or that." i'll refer you to this initial coining post, and this infamous post designing the flags, as that's pretty much the start of the community ─ which should tell you how lame the culture and its origins actually are lmao. funny enough, tomcat/stag often get mistaken for each other, and so do their flags lol.

but a lot of bi sapphics (the flag post has options for other bis ^^) like myself still choose to identify as one of the labels, whether instead of or simultaneously with butch or femme. nothing wrong with that. i dunno if they still do, but if my answer isn't sufficient then you could ask @/femmebis more on the topic, who i remember also calling themself a doe at some point, same way i'm both butch and a tomcat (hence my coined term). anyways, as long as you're not forcing them on other bis (especially bi woc or religious bi men, etc.*) then it can be a lot of harmless fun!! i'd always loved the label tomcat even before realizing i was bi.

i'd also suggest reading through @doetomcatstag's blog in general, in case you're (still) confused about any of the terms themselves!! they go a little more in depth about the actual identities and culture as they/it was initially intended in good faith. i do wanna note that even though many bisexuals have the valid opinion of considering them worthless or even repulsive, they do mean more than just outer gender presentation to those who don't.

sorry if this is confusing, i'm tired and not proofreading but didn't wanna ghost you after you just asked and i'm still online. if you have more questions i'll probably answer them much better later on. :,)

*doe/stag as animal names similar to "buck" are considered racially offensive, and druid/knight i believe are somehow religiously offensive, maybe antisemitic, but i'm not sure.

[bi-sapphics]

i often see this flag get confused between being tomcat and stag, and i don’t actually know which it really is. for example, on the same blog regarding icons, this post claims it as tomcat, while this one says it represents stags. in the former, an extra orange/red flag is presented in stag’s place so that this blue one can be tomcat.

.......but i kind of love that about it. some people will say you can’t be multiple identities at once along the scale, or even be fluid between them, just like they’ll say “futch” isn’t a real or valid identity. they’re wrong. i am primarily a tomcat, but labelling myself a stag wouldn’t be entirely incorrect. i am definitely a tomcat butch because i’m kind of androgynous but wish to appear more masculine and identify with masculinity as a concept, so why can’t i be a tomcat stag??

this flag, for me at least, represents a vague combination and/or in-between of both identities, and/or the “different but inseparable” nature of them, as it literally kind of does already (considering its usage up until now) ─ just like i did with butchcat. that is me!! that fits how i see myself!! why wouldn’t i use it?? (also i love blues, like... a lot)

[bi-sapphics]

lesser-known terms/labels for bisexuals: a review

look, i know what i said about hating the fact that twitter coins all these useless terms to keep bi sapphics from using butch/femme without using doe/stag, but i have to admit that some of them actually kinda rock....... and some of them (expectedly) kinda suck. ALSO THERE ARE WAY TOO MANY OF THEM JUST STOP TRYING AND STICK WITH BUTCH/FEMME OR DOE/TOMCAT/STAG DEAR LORD. I BEG. YOUR COINED SET WILL NOT BECOME FAMOUS AND EARN REWARDS.

1.) to start, solis/lunith/saros are based on the sun & moon, which y’all know i’m such a sucker for the dynamic of, though i’m not a fan of the saros flag being all-blue even though it’s my favorite color. i don’t know why. since given the other two it can easily have a more androgynous context than a masculine one (i.e. “boy = blue”), but to be fair it’s started to grow on me.

2.) similarly, i like solyn/lunyn/mercyn just as much, except that my preferences are switched in that i love the flags much more than the terms. green for androgyny is actually pretty clever imo and the lunyn flag is GORGEOUS and the solyn flag has a color palette that works perfectly for a lot of my favorite characters. they sound pretty, don’t get me wrong, but they’re just weird words to me (and that’s fine!!).

3.) but then you have this “one presentation type for each gender” system that follows the infamous tumblr animal format (with a mixture of pretty and ugly flags, just to mention it) and it just gets complicated. not to mention that i actually dislike this replacement set more than the original, which should say something considering just how much bi sapphics have expressed their hatred for calling themselves deers or other wild forest animals (especially due to implied antiblackness). i mean... moths, beetles, butterflies, and mantises for nonbinary folk? really?? are you just oblivious to all the infantilizing stereotypes that are applied to (usually afab) nonbinary people? and of how much other trans people hate that for us too? i feel like that’s self-explanatory but whatever, if twitter finds that more acceptable than bi history being “lesbophobic” then i’m not gonna prohibit them lmfao. i do actually like the flower system for bi mlm/nblm though, i’ll give op that, and although i’d probably choose different color palettes for the bi wlw/nblw flags due to them reminding me of your classic cartoon-alien-themed children’s outer space playground, they’re not bad. i like celestial body themes. dunno why “moon” and “star” aren’t flipped in meaning, though.

4.) moving on from that rant though, i’d just like to say as a nblm person that these cloud-themed terms are not bad. they’re alright. i do like them better than knight/mage/druid (linked in the above paragraph), which is what they were designed to replace. the corresponding flags can be found here in this thread below this tweet and i personally have a bit of bias in favor of them because i have a preference for blues, grays, and desaturated colors. “cumulous” bi for masculine men, though....... no criticism, i just find that an odd choice in a funny lighthearted way. :)

5.) all i have to say about these three replacements coined for bi sapphics to replace doe/tomcat/stag are that the terms are nice, i wouldn’t use them but they’re pretty enough, but 2/3 of the flags (excluding “forte”) are just plain ugly as hell and i’m not gonna sugarcoat it. sorry, i don’t like them and that’s my opinion. no hate to op but dear god.

6.) this more simplified insect set for (especially nonbinary) bi sapphics basically just gets the same judgement as #3′s moth/beetle/butterfly/mantis since everything was already said in that paragraph. the flags do look nice to be fair, although the butterfly one looks eerily similar to the eclipsis/eclipse bisexual flag, which i see as more of an aesthetic combining the sun & moon rather than a presentation identity.

7.) lastly, i’ve already given my opinion on the damme/tomme pairing in that reblogged post considering they’re the stupidest copycats of butch/femme i’ve ever seen. while i might cringe at some of the options in this post i think i’m gonna have to judge this set as the one i genuinely dislike the post. it’s the biggest “fuck you” ever to bi sapphics coming from fellow bi sapphics and i’m not changing my mind. i hate them. like, imaging calling yourself a “damme bi” and the response is just “damn bi wtf??” it’s just silly.

like i said, there were a lot, and none of them actually really hold any weight or history that seem appealing enough for me. maybe i can adopt solis/saros and solyn on the side, and nimbus when i feel more man-aligned on those rarer days, but that’d be it. please stop embarrassing yourselves is all i have to say to end this post. :/

[bi-sapphics]

sorry if it's a bother but I can't find too much on doe/stag/tomcat anywhere so I just wanted to ask how it is racist? is it because of the fact that they're animals or is there something more?

you're fine!! but yeah, that's pretty much it. not necessarily that they're animal terms (although there are many types of animals that have racist associations that at this point it's rightfully generalized) but the fact that they're deer terms in particular. "stag" iirc is eerily close to "buck" which is incredibly offensive to Black people and paints them as aggressive; what a coincidence that the former is a direct indication of masculinity. afaik tomcat has no such connotation but it does get grouped in with the other two so there's that.

you're still free to use them if you want, regardless of race. but it would be insensitive to not at least be critical of the terms (unless you just aren't aware yet).

[bi-sapphics]

Sorry to bother but do u know if theres an alternative word for a "bi druid" druid is a jewish term and it brings a lot of discomfort to a lot of jewish people

mage/knight/druid as a whole was coined bi a person who hated bi ppl so much he harassed a nb man and I really want an alternative

Feel free to ignore

you're not bothering me at all, dw!!

and i'm assuming you mean this person, right? yeah, i'm aware of the concerns brought up by jewish people. i was not, however, aware that the coiner harassed somebody. i don't blame you for wanting another term, although i'm still personally attached to tomcat since that was never considered problematic (and people tend to be allowed to use them if they want without pressure as long as they're critical).

i touched up on it a little in this post, which should provide some alternatives for you if you like. there's even a section specifically for bi mlm/nblm with a cloudy theme and i have the coining post linked there too.

i hope this helps you!! feel free to come back if you need more suggestions.

[bi-sapphics]

butch (bi) but like specifically in a tomcat way. in other words, when your identity labels are inseparable

[bi-sapphics]

just to make this absolutely clear: regardless of whether you feel comfy with butch/femme being inclusive or not, i absolutely adore bi sapphics who refer to themselves as does, stags, or tomcats!! they are very cute and for some of us they do hold weight regarding our personal identities and that's absolutely valid. after all, i consider myself both a butch and a tomcat and tend to pair the labels together in "about" descriptions, so i'll likely be posting about that set of descriptors on this blog often too. just like the word "queer", as long as you're not forcing anyone else (especially women of color, due to their voiced concerns of implied antiblackness) to use them instead of butch/femme, show your pride for yourself and who you are!!