#big emo hours

[pumpkinlele]

he’s the biggest babie ever 🥺

[erikkarlsson]

oh was joe pavelski the captain of the san jose sharks before signing with the stars this season i almost forgot thank you stars broadcast

[vangoghmusings]

i’m going to bed a bit early since im not feeling super great mentally 💓 but part 11 of watch me is out tomorrow, thanks again for all the support

[martindykewood]

fic title: huge wings blotting out the sun

g-d you know in league with dragons gets me big emo about crowley and i’ve thought about the concept extensively and it is therefore impossible for me to treat this as a standalone lyric without connecting it to the narrative of the song. but it’s... it sure is a concept. a concept that would make a beautiful “through the ages” type fic, a good long one.

basically, it’s about the idea that humans have this primal, visceral unease around him. he’s charming and attractive, but people are always just slightly put off by him, and they don’t know why. so whenever he missteps, or anything goes wrong at all, it goes south very quickly, because since the dawn of humanity, one undeniable constant is that people need scapegoats. they will take any opportunity to say they knew it the whole time, they knew he was no good, they never trusted him.

he spends a lot of time, over those thousand of years, stealing away in the night, leaving places he loves, people he likes, running away because he can feel the wind changing. because it gets familiar, after a while. he knows it wouldn’t be safe for him to stay, but he also has nowhere else to go. he just leaves, and hopes that he can find somewhere, anywhere to stay for a while, at least so he doesn’t starve or dehydrate, because those are the most embarrassing deaths.

of course, he can’t rely on hell for anything because they don’t care for him, they don’t care for his wellbeing. if he gets discorporated, they see it as a bureaucratic inconvenience; they don’t understand how the hate behind it and the constant fear has seeped into crowley’s soul; they see results only, and they commend him for the wrath he’s inspired, and they send him back up. and he keeps doing it, and he keeps getting more and more bitter, more and more afraid, more and more human.

then there’s aziraphale. his dragon. he’s not always there, especially not in the early days, but his presence is increasingly constant as time goes on. and he’s got some odd traits, he’s not entirely human, but on the whole, his being there calms people, makes them feel comfortable. his being there means that crowley is safe. and on those occasions when the human element is too strong, when the fear and the fury are too much to talk down, when aziraphale’s presence isn’t enough, well. then they find out why aziraphale is the protector.

[ganseyboii]

im gonna make a big emo post here because i don’t want to bother any of my friends and make them worry about me but there's too much in my brain rn

tw for unhealthy relationships with food and also past trauma

i saw my therapist today and we opened a whole bunch of cabinets i’d been trying to shove closed so we could start to unpack them, but it was rough and i just want those cabinets closed again. 

we talked for a while about my experience with sexual assault and it was the first time anyone had ever said what happened to me was trauma. i knew what happened messed me up for a really long time, but to have someone validate that really changed my perspective on a lot of things. 

i also feel very empty inside right now and i usually combat that by eating which isn’t very healthy i know :/ but it’s like trying to fill the void, yanno? but now whenever i eat i feel really guilty and mad at myself and i know id be disappointing my grandmother. and i know im allowed to eat and i shouldn’t listen to my grandmother because she regularly tells me im too fat and need to diet or starve myself but its hard to break the conditioning. 

sorry for venting all this rn it’s been a rough night

[forehead-enthusiast]

[11:23pm] Chan sat on his bed, mindlessly scrolling through pictures of other people's lives. No one was online, and his texts had been left unread for hours now. He didn't know why he felt so... empty. Not sad, just blank and needing someone to paint life back into him. He opened his chat with you and typed,

I don't want to be alone right now, and I don't know how to tell you.

He looked at the message for a few minutes. With the touch of a finger, he deleted it, and fell backwards into bed. He forced his eyes shut and hoped he could sleep the loneliness away.

[sunflowerstalks]

yeah sure i love logan and would never wish harm upon him, but am i going to stop projecting all of my trauma and suffering upon him? no.

[folkfamily]

y’all ever just listen to all hail west texas and feel every emotion at once