#bipolat

[meowmeowmu]

A Pill

A magic pill that will fix me

Living like I'm still living with my family

i don't like what I see

everything i see turns into negative sensations 

is something happening or is my body used to feeling like this 

nothings is happening but my skin is on fire and i feel a load of rocks on my back. I hate the fluctuations. no matter what i take or do im stressed anxious about something, anything

or is this telling me information,

i don't like my surroundings currently, sometimes i forget this is my place

no matter how much i sleep im always tired

my mom sees me as poorly taken care of, sometimes i don't have the desire to brush my teeth this its stupid i feel irrational.

maybe im getting my period soon

i can never feel calm except when i have edibles

perfect delay 

[throughivyseyes]

Too Early To Think, Oh Yeah And Autism

It’s 6:30 am. I’ve been up for an hour because I had to use the bathroom and my mind started racing immediately… This is a pretty normal deal, often once u am up I am up, or on the opposite end, there is no getting me up lol I’m not even sure what I’m thinking about right now. Many of the thoughts are racing too fast. I have my first of 5 appointments on Friday for autism testing. The thing is,…

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[dr-frankenstyn-blog]

The secret for me to fall asleep is pot and my sleeping pills. fell asleep right away last night..Slept through my alarm though.  Im thinking of asking my doc for mediical marijuana. While I was recovering from my first manic episode I COULD NOT SMOKE, It would give me panic attacks. But right now I feel so normal. My anxiety’s lower. I feel relaxed and Im usually always on edge. Plus I feel genuinely happy and not constantly worried and being paranoid about murder and rape and all my negative thoughts. My constant depersonalization is WAY down. and thats basically the root of all evil to my mental illness as a whole. I feel hear, feeling my true feelings. Like when I blank out (I dont know how to describe it) it pulls me back. Dont know how to even try to ask about it though. Also still scared it will make me hear other peoples thoughts and voices like when I was manic. But I feel so happy and content right now

[jennifersings]

I don't want to go to therapy on Monday. I don't like my therapist. She pushes and pushes and when she does that I shut down and then she asks why I shut down. She makes me deal with my anxiety head on and it sucks I know that it's what's best for me but it's really hard