#biseus

[theimmortalbisexual]

I'm definitely not the person who came up with this analogy, but being bisexual and being horny is like being hungry af and not knowing where you want to eat.

[theimmortalbisexual]

Last week I kissed a guy on his neck. It was very bisexual of me.

[theimmortalbisexual]

Everyone: Don't do it.

Me:

[theimmortalbisexual]

Current Crush Situation:

September 22, 2018

Definitely Crushing On:

Unavailable College Guy

Adorable Writer Dude

Friendgroup Gal

Questionable Crushes Maybe:

Hometown Boi

[theimmortalbisexual]

The Time I (Almost) Fell for the Enemy 😳

This one makes me feel like the bad guy tbh

I hated him. Let's call him... Masking Tape (M.T.). He is annoying and shallow and conceited and ahshfj I almost fell for him. Idk how and idk why, but I saw something and couldn't get it out of my mind...

I met him my freshman year of high school and instantly knew he wasn't straight. The gay vibes just radiated from him...

We didn't talk much but he was... lacking in the common sense arena... I would mention examples but I got to keep this as vague as possible bc if he ever found out.... Idek......

My friend got along with him better than I... But even she found him unable to deal with.

As for me and M.T., we barely talked. We were on the same trivia squad in school, and had a few classes together, but overall there wasn't much contact at first.

By the time it had been established that he was bi, we p much didn't get along at all. I saw him as the opposite of everything I like in a decent human and couldn't stand being in the same room as him...

It wasn't until senior year that something happened. Idk what happened lmao, but I didn't completely hate him.

I blame the Class™...

We got stuck as partners for an activity.

And one part of the activity required wrapping masking tape around your arms and legs (don't ask...)

Legs were easy but arms were harder.

Your partner will help you wrap masking tape around your arms. - Good ol' teach

M.T. started wrapping tape. He took my arm and felt for my elbow ( where the tape was to go)

Fuck?? I... What?!

He held my arm and I... Sdghjjk... He was so careful as he worked, his hands... I can't... I don't know...

My heart....... FUCK.

He moved to the other arm and I...

SNAP OUTTA IT THIS BOI IS TOXIC

For the rest of the day I thought about him in a way I NEVER wanted to...

Do I like him?

After a few days, I started hating him again. Shallow. Annoying. Ew...

And then I found him on Grindr.

And my friend and I wanted to see how cringey he would be....

So...

I messaged him.

And he replied.

It was fine at first, but then he started acting like he liked me.

I was anonymous. He didn't know me.

And I started feeling AWFUL.

I said going in I would end it if he started falling for me or if he sent me nudes.

Bc ew.

But... On Grindr he wasn't the same person?

Aw that's sweet... WAIT NO STOP NO.

It was like three days and I was actually enjoying the conversation.

But he didn't know who I was.

And I knew who he was...

And he wasn't this person. This sweet person who couldn't care less what I look like or that I wasn't ready to come out.

This was the complete opposite of the Masking Tape I knew...

It was... Sdfyhjj...

I needed to end it. I couldn't let myself fall for this guy, who'd probably throw up if he knew it was me he was talking to. Like I said, we didn't get along.

We were left alone in a room together once. Neither of us spoke a word. We didn't even look at each other.

This was a few days before I left for College now.

And he wanted to meet me.

I tried making him mad at me, bc I knew his temper was not good...

FAILED.

Tried making him think I was mad...

He did everything he could...

I almost told him the truth. But I couldn't.

Then his shallowness and arrogance started showing. A lot. And I remembered who this was. And I asked him if he was attracted to anyone at his school. He gave me a list and (thankfully) I wasn't on it.

So then I took a breath, and ghosted him 😶

His Grindr was a facade and I wasn't letting myself fall for the guy who treated me terribly and almost outted a friend and starts rumors and judges people for things they can't even control and ews at the disabled...

I forgot who I was talking to.

He messaged me a few other times, but finally got the hint.

I still felt awful but...

I couldn't. Fall. For. Him.

[theimmortalbisexual]

My first and only "real" relationship so far (as of 9/20/18) was in elementary school...

Yes. It's one of those stories, but where else to start than the beginning?

Feel free to skip the blabbering and scroll to the ACTION lmao...

It was before I knew I was bisexual, and so the feelings I was experiencing towards other boys in my class was really just "well whatever" bc back then I only vaguely knew about gay people and "knew" I was straight lmao.

I hung out with more girls than guys back then, and have always done so since. Going way back to Kindergarten, I had a few guy friends who I played with at recess lmao but I eventually drifted away because I really wasn't as "boyish" as them.

Anyway, the girl was a friend of mine, and then one day my crush at the time just blatantly said, "She likes you."

Whelp. Once that was established it was expected that I return those feelings, and we start "dating", elementary school style lolz... And so I figured if a girl likes you, why not?

ACTION TIME

We'll call her Paperclip (bc she had the personality of a Paperclip... Jk... Mostly lolz)

It lasted almost 3 years... 😳

And then disaster came (as if a 3 year elementary school relationship wasn't disasterous enough).

It was supposed to be a secret relationship, and she wanted billboards and television commercials and ofc, to tell our parents.

Well as a kid who was deeply afraid of his parents and their no-dating policy, I was reluctant.

So Paperclip started getting friendly with other boys....

Slut. 🙄

Jk I can't call a gf from elementary school a slut...

At least I probably shouldn't...

Anyway, Paperclip sat with one of my friends in the bus instead of me and being the smol bi boy with a sensitive heart despite thinking I was a het back then that I am...

I. Fucking. Cried.

It gets better tho. Bc then I turned up the lawyer in me, and when the bus driver was like "Alright you brats, what's the fucking matter with you shitheads??", I stated, in my gross crybaby voice, "We have assigned seats. And she's not in hers!"

Boo-yah Bitch!

So now ofc the bus is stopped in the middle of the road, legit everyone is staring at these three elementary school kids, and the bus driver is probably wishing she could just abandon ship.

"Do you want to sit with him?" the driver asked Paperclip, gesturing at me.

"Not realllllly."

Lmao so now I'm like whatever. I'm p sure Paperclip expected me to be a complicit little bitch and realize it's time to part our separate ways, but alas, I did not lolz.

Later on at recess she goes over to make the "break-up" official, as if what I did to myself on the bus wasn't awful enough 🙄

I was sitting under a tree, probably thinking about boys in a very not-straight way, when Paperclip poofs out of nowhere...

"I hope we can still be friends."

And being the complicit little bitch I was...

"Sure."

Lmao well at least I didn't take her back a few years later...

Oh waitttt....

I did. 😶

But that's another post on it's own 👌

***

Thanks for reading! Please share with your friends and followers so that I can get more followers so at least I know I get something out of sharing my pathetic love life with the world lmao! Seriously though, thanks for being interested and hopefully I won't disappoint! :)

- Biseus, The Immortal Bisexual

[theimmortalbisexual]

Heyo! Biseus here...

Welcome to my new side blog where I'mma tell the lovely stories of my disaster romances, to hopefully make y'all feel better about yourselves 😂

[theimmortalbisexual]

I make super bad decisions when I'm h*rny, so due to the current circumstances, I will be restraining myself from downloading various apps and hitting up old "friends" because it is CHRISTMAS and NOT the night to be a dumbass.