Biseus @theimmortalbisexual - Tumblr Blog

I make super bad decisions when I'm h*rny, so due to the current circumstances, I will be restraining myself from downloading various apps and hitting up old "friends" because it is CHRISTMAS and NOT the night to be a dumbass.

#bisexual #biseus #bi #lol #lmao #nsfw?

I'm definitely not the person who came up with this analogy, but being bisexual and being horny is like being hungry af and not knowing where you want to eat.

#biseus #bookblr #bisexual #bi #nsfw?

luciferising

I love kissing a boy and feeling his dick get hard in his pants. precious.

theimmortalbisexual

How to get yourself in a situation.

Step 1: Fall for a guy.

Step 2: Get over said guy, because you thought the relationship was over.

Step 3: Have said guy turn out to apparently really still like you and have him tell you he loves you.

Step 4: Don't immediately tell him you pretty much are over him.

Step 5: Panic.

theimmortalbisexual

Looking through my old posts and the facr I dont know which guy this is referring to says a lot about my relationship history 💀

#panic #disaster #disaster romance #how to guide #dont do this

When You're in the Mood but Know You Shouldn't...

I mean... maybe 😏

Jk jk jk...

Maybeeeee 😏😏😏

#iykyk #oof #haven't posted in a while #but i came back to say this #lmao #lol #bi #biseus #bisexual

When I was in college I had sex with a man with a wife/girlfriend. 😳

I obviously had NO clue.

Until I was at the

Grocery store 🍅🥦🍊

And saw the man and his wife

Making out in the dairy aisle. 🐄

I never went to that store again.

Like...

Fuck.

This is why Grindr is not how to make new friends.

Bonus:

The man was also the guy who refilled the vending machine in my school's dormitory.

Where.

I.

LIVED.

This man was really keeping me away from all my food sources. 🤦‍♂️

#oof #disaster romance #not a romance #but still #hookup story #fail #grindr fail

Feeling things

#bisexual #bi #oof #fuckk

Sometimes I write a scene and I accidentally make there be a little too much sexual tension that I'm just like "MAKE OUT ALREADY" and tbh... I think it's just because I'm horny.

#nsfw #nsfw?#oof #lmao #sexual tension #writing #lol #mood

bi-any-chance

Why did I make these.

Sometimes cute people say something that just ruins the whole thing and I'm like "Well now I can't find you attractive even if I tried" and it is back to the drawing board.

leofromthedark

Winona Ryder in Heathers (1988) dir. Michael Lehmann

bifacts

Fact: Bisexuals don’t need to pick a side, however, when they reach the age of 12, they must pick a sword. It’s an ancient ritual.

mydeadcarcass

You fool… The sword choses the Bisexual.

bifacts

A few people have asked what happens if you hadn’t realised you’re sexuality at that age. Some bisexuals will intuitively pick or forge a sword before even realising their sexuality, though if this wasn’t you, don’t worry - you can choose a sword any time within a 2 year period of identifying as bi. Should you, however, miss the 2 year cut off, you can talk to the Bisexual Battalion Council though that’s a last resort as it’s a really bureaucratic process and they only ever reply to emails biannually (either twice a year or once every two years but they refuse to clarify which).