Happy christmas to bisimonlewis!! i hope you like this bub, i apologise if it's a bit messy i tried my best whilst editing, but i really do hope you enjoy this lil fic that i wrote for you, and i hope that your christmas (and birthday) is swell!!
Read on AO3
*****
I'm here, I'm yours
Christmas is known for the time where families gather together and exchange gifts and spend the entire day filled with happiness. Christmas is also known for the time in which you receive a soulmate gift. Everyone has a soulmate, that much is known in the world. For some people their soulmate can be a best friend, for some it is a sibling that they are close to, and for some it is someone that they will fall deeply in love with.
Every year on Christmas day, there will be a moment where something, a vision, a future moment, a characteristic or a word they will say, will pop into someone’s mind. But you never truly know who your soulmate is until you spend Christmas day with them. The problem was that the longer time went on, the more blurry those memories would become, no matter how hard people would cling on to those memories. So people would never truly know who their soulmate was till Christmas.
Most people only have one soulmate, though there are those who have more.
For Alec, he thought he had found his when his younger sister Isabelle was born. He didn’t know it at first, he was too young to realise what having a soulmate even meant. When he grew to learn, he realised that he and Izzy had a bond that was more than what most siblings had. She knew him and understood him better than most would, and he was the same with her.
They were always able to know what the other needed and what the other was thinking without even having to try. Alec loved his sister more than anyone else in the world, and he did everything in his power to be able to protect her, not that she needed it, but because he wanted to.
When his mother explained what a soulmate was, he knew that Izzy was his, because of the connection they shared and how he seemed to know that he was going to have a little sister before even his parents were aware. When he told her as much, she smiled and said that she knew they were because on Izzy’s first Christmas, not even a year old, Izzy had reached out to him, her hands grabbing for him.
So when Alec was fifteen and he started to get visions of someone who sat around to read and watch movies all day, he didn’t really understand what it meant. He didn’t realise that he was destined to another soulmate. The struggle of learning about another soulmate at age fifteen for Alec however was a difficult one.
He had come to terms with his sexuality, but he was still scared to be open about it and too scared to tell anyone. Of course Izzy knew, but there was no one else that Alec had told. So on Christmas day when he woke up to having a dream about a future memory of a boy, he knew that within the next year he would meet him.
The more time went on, the more wary Alec was about meeting new people and making friends. He didn’t want to meet someone who could potentially be the love of his life and not be able to be with him. So he became a recluse of himself, and refused to move from his own bubble.
Except one day when he was sat in the school library and a boy sat next to him and started babbling on about how one Christmas he had a vision of someone reading the book in Alec’s hands and that he made it his mission to talk to anyone who he saw that was reading it.
It turned out that Simon Lewis wasn’t the love of his life, but was his best friend. From that moment on they had become friends easily and though their bond together wasn’t as strong as what it was with Izzy, but it was still enough. The first Christmas that they celebrated after becoming friends, something clicked for the two of them when they met to exchange gifts, and it was then that Alec knew that he had found a soulmate in Simon.
They spoke everyday and Simon was the first person that Alec told about being gay. Simon had hugged him after wards and then sat with him while they binge watched the Star Wars movies. He didn’t ask any questions, he didn’t say anything; he just accepted it and moved on. Simon seemed to understand him in that he didn’t want to be questioned about it; he just needed to let it out.
After that, Alec had found the strength to be able to tell others and to be more comfortable in who he was. Simon and Izzy both urged him on with encouragement when he came out to his parent. His father’s reaction was one of disgust and he told him that he was ruining the family, and he threatened to throw him out the house, and Alec could feel himself fall back into his shell.
But then his mother stood up and told his father that the only person that was ruining the family was him, because of his affair and because of the fact that he didn’t love his son unconditionally. Maryse had thrown out his dad that day and had hugged him and told him that if there was anyone that ever threatened to bring him down because of someone that he loves, that he should hold his head up high and know that deep down, he was better than them in every way.
It didn’t take long for Alec to truly find himself, to let himself be loved by his family and to be grateful for the fact that he had not only a soulmate in his sister, but also in Simon, his best friend. He was thankful for it every day, and it continued when Izzy got visions of her soulmate, a girl with curly brown hair and a love for science, who turned out to be a girl named Maia who loved Izzy passionately.
It continued when his mother finally found her soulmate in Luke, who wined her and dined her in the way that she deserved, and treated her with the respect and love that Robert never had. Alec was never bitter about the fact that he was certain he didn’t have a romantic soulmate, he watched his loved ones fall in love, and he took his time, dating guys that took his fancy and being happy with how his life was.
It wasn’t till he was twenty-one that on Christmas morning when he was unwrapping a gift from his sister that it hit him. The vision wasn’t like the others, each relation the person had being different. At first all he heard was a laugh, deep and full of joy. Then he saw a wine glass swaying in a man’s hand, of which had painted nails and rings adorning them.
And then he saw deep brown eyes, lined with black kohl and crinkled at the edges from where he was laughing. The eyes held so much, they showed joy and they showed wisdom. Alec knew with just the vision of this man’s eyes that he wanted- he needed to see them in person, and he had to look deep into them and fall into them.
And when the present that was in his hand fell to the floor, Alec knew that he had just looked at the eyes of the love of his life.
-
It was mid May when Alec met him. He was in a rush to get to his class, but he knew he couldn’t make it through the entire day without his morning coffee. Yet no coffee and trying to weave through the crowds of the day was apparently a mix that Alec was not very well coordinated with. He collided with someone, spilling his coffee onto the floor and both himself and the stranger.
He was ready to look up and apologise, or to tell whoever it was to watch where they were going. He wasn’t quite sure what he was going to say because when he looked up he looked eyes with the most beautiful man he had ever seen. And more importantly he looked into eyes that he felt like he had seen before.
“Usually, I’m not a fan of people spilling their coffee on me, but I guess I’ll make an exception for you. Hi there.” The man smiled at Alec, holding out his hand for Alec to take. And when he did, it felt like he was always meant to hold that hand, and it took a great deal of self restraint to hold himself back from gripping onto his hand even more.
“Hi, I’m sorry about that, I should have been watching where I was going.” Alec brushed at his coat where the coffee was already starting to stick to the fabric.
“Oh, it’s okay, it’s not every day a handsome man spills his coffee all over me. Though, this coat was quite expensive, so I guess you’re going to have to make it up to me.” The man rolled onto his toes and back onto his heels as he looked at Alec, a twinkle in those eyes that Alec wanted to drown in.
The corner of Alec’s mouth tilted up. “I’m Alec, by the way. And I guess that’s only fair. How about dinner? Say, tonight at eight?”
The man grinned, his eyes crinkling at the force of it. “I’m Magnus, and dinner sounds wonderful Alec.”
“Great.” The two of them stood there on the sidewalk with grins on their faces. To anyone else they probably looked ridiculous, but Alec didn’t want to move from that spot, not to get to the class he was already late to, or to change out of the coffee stained coat. He just wanted to stay looking at Magnus for the rest of the day.
But as luck would have it, they both had other obligations and it wasn’t like it was a goodbye. They would see each other tonight, and that was enough for Alec to hand over his phone so that he could swap numbers with Magnus. Before they parted ways, Magnus stepped into his space and pressed a kiss to his cheek and walked off with a wink.
Alec stayed watching Magnus’ figure even long after he merged into the crowds. He looked down at his phone, biting his lip to contain the grin that was threatening to attack when he saw that he had received a text from Magnus with his address and an array of love heart emojis. He had only just met Magnus, but he knew that he wasn’t going to let him slip from his fingers.
-
“Alexander! Stop it!” Magnus was pushing at Alec’s head trying to get him to move from his stomach. The night had started out with good food and wine, and had ended up with them on the sofa, with Alec slowly making his way down Magnus’ body, mapping it out with his mouth. But when he hit Magnus’ stomach, the urge to blow a raspberry hit him and it didn’t take long for Magnus to be laughing.
Alec looked up at his boyfriend, a mischievous grin on his face. They had been dating for three weeks now, but Alec knew that Magnus was so much more than just someone to be with to pass the time. He always wanted to be around Magnus, and wanted to tell everyone about him.
After their first date Alec had gushed about Magnus to Izzy and Simon over their group chat and he had called his mum the next day to talk about him again, just because he wanted to tell everyone about him. And after three weeks of dating Alec couldn’t stop talking about his boyfriend to anyone that would listen.
“What? I’m not doing anything.”
Magnus scoffed. “Oh right, because blowing raspberries is really a sure fire way to get someone in the mood.”
“Mm, well I mean it depends on what kind of mood you’re going for.”
“I think you know very well what kind of mood we were going for.”
Alec shrugged, resting his body on top of Magnus’ and looking up at him. “We would imply a joint effort, who says that it wasn’t my plan to make you laugh this whole time?”
Magnus sat up so that he was leaning on his elbows. “So you just wanted to hear me laugh?”
“Always.”
One of Alec’s favourite sounds was Magnus’ laugh. The way that it sounded was always filled with joy and whenever Alec heard it, it never failed to bring a smile to his own face. And when he was the one to make Magnus laugh, then the smile on his face was always stronger and Alec would be worried that it was going to cause his jaw to ache.
Magnus was laying Alec with a sceptical look, but Alec knew Magnus’ eyes and knew that beneath the facade he was elated. Alec grinned at him before leaning down to blow a raspberry on Magnus’ stomach again, making him laugh. Once Magnus had calmed down he looked down at Alec, their eyes softening.
Alec leaned up so that he could brush his nose against Magnus’, making him breathe out a laugh.
“I love you.”
Magnus’ breath hitched, his mouth falling open. “Alexander. I love you too.”
Alec leaned down to capture Magnus’ lips, feeling his hands in his hair as they lost themselves in the moment. A moment where they knew that if anything, they had love.
-
“Magnus, can I ask you something?”
Magnus looked up from the book that he was reading to look up at Alec, who had put down his own book and was sat chewing at his nails with his legs tucked up against his chest. They had moved in with each other shortly after they had been dating for two months and their relationship had only grown, the two of them falling deeper and deeper in love every day.
But Alec couldn’t help the thoughts that plagued his mind. He knew that he had a romantic soulmate; he remembers having the visions and remembers that when he saw their eyes he wanted to drown in them. But he had since forgotten those eyes in favour of Magnus’ eyes. But with Christmas drawing in near, Alec was worried about what it would bring this year.
In his heart he knew that Magnus was the love of his life, no matter what the results turned out to be, but he didn’t want Magnus’ heart to break at the thought that there was someone destined to be with Alec.
“Alexander? What’s wrong?”
Alec broke out of his own head when Magnus lay a hand on his knee, a concerned look on his face. “Uh, yeah, I just. You know soulmates, right? Do you, uh have one?”
The confused look on Magnus’ face deepened. “Alec, you know that I do. With Ragnor and Catarina.”
“No, I mean uh, romantically. Like have you had visions of someone that you just know is romantically.”
The confusion eased from Magnus’ face, a more solemn one spreading over his features. “Yes, I do. I don’t remember much of what I saw. I know that they’re a man. But I don’t care about that, I care about you. Because truthfully Alec, I feel like you could be him, because I felt like I recognised you when we first met. But Alexander, despite what is the truth of us, I don’t want anyone else. And if it turns out that you aren’t my soulmate then I’m not gonna leave you if he does come around. Because it’s you I love, not anyone else. Not a vision of some man that I don’t know. You, always and only you.”
Magnus had reached up to cup Alec’s face, Alec leaning into his palm, the heaviness easing from his shoulders as Magnus spoke.
“I feel the same way Magnus. Last Christmas I had a vision of a man, and I remember wanting to drown in his eyes, but as soon as I saw yours, I completely forgot about him. I love you so much Magnus, and I know that Christmas is close, and I know that it might not turn out the way that we perceive it to, but I want to be with you, and no one else. You make my heart burst Magnus, and if that’s not what a soulmate is, then I just don’t wanna know what it is, especially not without you.”
Tears were brimming in Magnus’ eyes as well as his own, and he reached forward to wrap his arms around his shoulder, sinking into the warmth that was Magnus’ chest. He knew that no matter what, he had Magnus and that whatever the truth turned out to be in a month’s time; he knew that it didn’t matter.
He loved Magnus, and Magnus loved him. And that’s all that really mattered.
-
It wasn’t till late on Christmas evening that it happened. They had spent the day with their respective families, but they had all joined together at night to drink and talk and just spend the day with the people that they loved.
Maia and Izzy were cuddled up on one of the arm chairs, both of them fast asleep. Luke had his arm around Maryse’s shoulder, their fingers interlinked as they listened to Simon ramble on about something that they had soon lost track of, the alcohol in his system making him talk faster than normal. And Ragnor and Catarina were sat opposite them, watching Simon with a similar expression.
Magnus and Alec were both in the kitchen, both escaping under the premise to get more drinks, but they had soon lost themselves in whispering sweet nothings to each other and exchanging kisses. Alec was tipsy enough to feel like he was floating on a cloud but not too much to not be aware of his actions.
So when he circled his arms around Magnus’ waist, he knew very well what he was doing, and that was getting to spend some alone time with the man of his dreams before they had to step back out into the living room with their friends and family. Magnus was lazily playing with the hair at the nape of Alec’s neck, making him laugh slightly at the ticklish feeling of it.
He leant down to press their lips together, their lips moving slowly, the taste of champagne and chocolate evident on Magnus’ lips, and Alec felt himself getting drunk at the taste. When he pulled back and looked into Magnus’ eyes, something changed.
He remembered the year before when he saw his soulmate’s eyes and realised that he was looking straight into them right now. He remembered the laugh and his hands and his mannerisms and he knew that they were all Magnus. Something clicked inside his mind, and everything seemed to make complete sense.
He never did forget the eyes of the man he saw last Christmas, but instead they merged with Magnus’ because they were his. And he knew deep in his heart that Magnus was the love of his life, but to now know that he was his soulmate, destined for him to be with, it made things seem so much clearer.
They both knew that it didn’t matter what happened, but as the realisation set in that they were soulmates, neither of them could help the grins on their faces, and neither of them could help as they crashed together, their arms squeezing the other tight.
From the living room they could hear laughter, with Christmas songs playing in the background from the stereo. But all of that was just background noise, because all Alec could bring himself to care about was Magnus, the love of his life, his soulmate who was currently in his arms.
And out of all the gifts that Alec had received that year, none of them could live up to the gift that was knowing that Magnus was his soulmate.
for the fic prompt - blue and malec (if someone hasn't already sent these two combinations in lmao) 💛💛
warning: this fic discusses alec’s death so if you don’t want to read those kind of things, just scroll past this (i Know they’re immortal husbands but magnus doesn’t know that yet!!)
also, this is somehow even sadder if you have this song in mind.
There were days when Magnus just couldn’t get out of bed. The mere thought of being awake made him want to bury his head in the pillow, cover himself with the bed sheets and close his eyes hard, as if that and only that would make him stop existing. (That was sadly untrue.) There were days when everything was just so much, so unbearable, so heavy in his chest. He just couldn’t stop thinking about all those he’d loved and had died, about Camille, about his mother (and about his father, too.)
Most days he let himself rest. But today, just one look at the dark-haired shadowhunter sleeping placidly by his side, his expression perfectly serene and his chest moving at the rhythm of his breath, made him realize that he’d have to postpone that crisis. Fighting against his own body, against every limb that was today weighing more than it usually did, he got out of bed as silently as he could.
He made coffee. Sometimes it helped to deal with things. This time was an exception. Whenever he closed his eyes, he saw his mother. Hundreds of years after, the fact that her face had looked finally at peace on her deathbed made shivers go down his spine. She had never looked that calm while she’d been alive. And how was he going to live knowing that the only thing that, in the end, had brought her peace, was death? A death that he himself had caused?
He swallowed his stepfather’s words with a sip of hot coffee that, hand by hand with sadness, burned his throat. But they stayed there, painful in his chest. You’re an abomination. He bit his lip. The son of the demon that had raped his mother, an abomination was the least he could be. And it hadn’t been a characteristic, an exaggerated (or not so much) way to describe a person, it had been an actual demon. (A Prince of Hell, Magnus thought.)
A small, almost invisible smile was drawn over his lips as he remembered Alexander’s words, his eyes staring deep into his own, and how their bodies felt against the other, warm and soft; and how he had hidden his face in the curve of Alexander’s neck, tears streaming down his eyes. His smile widened because he wasn’t sure what he’d done in his century-long life to deserve that man, he wasn’t even sure he deserved him, but their paths having crossed somehow was something he thanked to whatever divinity left in heaven. And then it struck him.
Alexander.
Alexander was mortal.
Alexander, sooner or later, was going to die.
It was so easy to ignore now, with the liveliness of his youth. Camille’s words resonated in his mind almost as if she were standing right there next to him; would he still love him when he was no longer young and beautiful? He liked to tell himself that he would, of course he would, he loved Alexander more than he’d ever loved himself, so why something as stupid as physical appearance would change a thing? But now, that answer was obvious when the man was just twenty. Would he still love him in his thirties? His forties? His fifties? Would he still love him with every wrinkle that would appear on his face, when his hair had gone white or when he’d gone bald? Would he be able to survive the feeling of seeing his boyfriend age and looking at himself in the mirror, discovering that his own body hadn’t changed in the slightest?
He still remembered how it had felt when they’d broken up. He had willingly taken away a part of himself for the greater good. He was still at peace with the decisions he’d taken, but he knew that in his whole lifetime he wouldn’t be able to forget the aching in his chest, his heart tearing itself apart while he walked away from the Institute, tears flooding his eyes. Even if he survived Alexander getting old, even if they both did, how was he supposed to handle the pain of him being taken away from Magnus, this time with no possibility of coming back together? He bit his lip at the memory of his boyfriend’s words, “I don’t think I can live without you.” He’d wanted so hard to say the same thing, but he couldn’t. Because he knew that, someday, he’d have to. He couldn’t see the future, but he could imagine. He shut his eyes hard at the image of Alec’s lifeless body, rubbed his face with his palms when he felt burning tears and, before he could stop himself, said out loud, “What are you doing?”
He shook his head, as if that movement could make those thoughts disappear, and finished his coffee. He’d manage. He always managed.
He heard footsteps, and he looked up. There he was, tall, handsome, and very much alive and breathing, with his eyes tired of sleep and his hair a mess, absently passing a shirt through his head. That alone was enough for the High Warlock of Brooklyn to smile. Alexander Lightwood walked through the loft, kissed his boyfriend on the cheek and, caressing his neck softly with his thumb, asked him, “Is everything okay?”
💚 (this is angelica bisimonlewis btw i hate tumblrs ask system)
i don’t really remember how i found out about your blog but i remember following like, instantly. because your blog is so good!!! and for some reason you being chilena (idk how the demonym for chile is in english) made me kinda happy, even if chilenos and argentinos are supposed to hate each other??
also that ‘listening to’ section in your updates tab with daddy yankee in the first place?? relatable
(btw your main blog is so aesthetically pleasing omg)
