Something I told a friend a little while ago and now have the courage to share:
Big bigender vibes tonight. I love being queer and thinking abt my identity and learning new parts of myself. Like I’m genderfluid yeah but man and woman are my most prominent genders, and some days I feel more bigender than genderfluid. But I can be both and that’s amazing. Sometimes I still get tripped up over whether I’m “allowed” to identify as something, but with being bigender and genderfluid I like to think of it as “I’m bigender and genderfluid the same way I’m bisexual and pansexual” and it feels rly good
I had this idea while listening to Go Away by Weezer where I attribute the man and woman singing to my masc and fem selves. While I know the song is abt cheating, I thought it was fun relating it to my past transmedicalist beliefs where I pushed my female part so far down it’s still a journey coming to accept myself. Instead of asking for forgiveness for cheating, my masc self is asking for forgiveness for trying to suppress my fem self and she’s reflecting on that experience (“what does she have that I don’t have” being when I would see pics of fem clothing and characters and people and yearn so deeply but then heavily suppress my fem interests/tendencies out of fear and never let myself enjoy it).
I also had this really cute idea where my masc and fem selves can fuse and when they do they become current me and I think that’s rly sweet and for me is a very affirming way of looking at myself :)