#black guy rambles

[jeremytheblack]

I have a legitimate crush on somebody for the first time in like a year. idk if it will work out because tbh we are very different, but also idk, it feels like an opposites attract kind of thing, and we’ve been hanging out a lot, and she was like feeling sick and left class today, and i took notes, and left class too, so we hung out in the student lounge and i caught her up on what she missed, and it was private and chill.

[jeremytheblack]

Welp. Just turned in my first actual College application. That’s something i thought i’d never be able to do maybe 3 years ago. Wish me luck!

[jeremytheblack]

Very Brief review of my 2015

New years Resolution coming a bit later. Still have a bit of thinking to do on that one. This is gonna be probably pretty brief, just because I gotta take care of a few things in a little bit.

SO. Who knows if this is needed, or if anyone's gonna even pay attention, or if I’ll ever even look back at this. but feels like a fitting send off to an interesting year.

Overall I’m gonna say even though I spent A LOT of 2015, really lonely, and depressed, It was actually a pretty dang productive year in some regards which was interesting. I basically started the year with absolutely nothing, No Job, No School, and really only hanging out with one person + online friends. That last part hasn’t really changed, but my online friends, as i’m sure to many of you play a HUGE role in my life.

What has changed is around March 2015 I began working. It came really suddenly, My dad called me and pretty much said “Hey they need some help in the warehouse at the place that I work”. It was a dairy called Cedar Crest. I’d worked for them before, and i wasn’t SUPER thrilled about it, but basically I had been sitting around doing nothing for about a year and a half at that point, so I took the job. 

I have a lot of stories about that job that I won’t get into, but just know that time was filled with awful, flaky co-workers, and me basically getting the short end of the stick, but honestly I think I needed a bit of hard work in my life, to get me out of that slump.

So that was that for a while. Wake up, work a gross second shift that basically entailed me working from 12PM to 10PM, ie. the part of the day where everyone is awake, and social to the part where everyone goes to bed, for school or work the next day. So that tolled on me, because boy howdy I got pretty lonely.

Then whoa, a rare romantic crush for me happened. That was fun for a bit, and it eventually turned into a relationship. It only lasted a few months, and I have no hard feelings towards the person that it was with, in fact we still p cool, i just sent her a neato Christmas care package. It just sort of was poor timing on both of our parts, and neither of us really having time to sustain a healthy relationship, and probably just a tad of me being a very emotional person, who falls v hard, v quickly.

Either way, that was sort of another emotional slump I went through, this entire year was very slumpy, even if I didn’t really show it. Probably some of my closer friends realized, but yeah.

Shortly after that around September, i really quickly, and did not feel ready, STARTED GED COURSES. That’s a story of why I needed them, I didn’t graduate high school blah blah. It was a big step, because it was something i knew i needed to do personally, but always sort of shyed away from, but then an opportunity rose, and before really thinking about it I jumped on it.

I started the classes, and the teacher was great, A dude named Justin, he was actually a frequent Sub, and the Night school teacher from my alternative high school, so it was good to go in with a friendly face or two. When I started I basically knocked 3 out of the 4 GED test out in literally a month and a half.

I’m still in the course, working on that LAST class, no surprises, MATH. The semester ends in two weeks, and my goal is to be OUT OF THERE by then.

I really wanted to get a lot more voicework done this year, but that didn’t happen. Other notable things that happened were I started playing Smash Bros. competitively, which MAY sound minor to a lot of you, but basically that will be expanded on in the Resolution.

Basically 2015 was a super emotional year for me. I had a lot of hard, emotional times, but I also got a lot done.

I don’t have a ton more to add, leave a like or shoot me an ask or something If ya read this, I’m just a curious person. 

[jeremytheblack]

Lately i have felt super sad, incredibly crippling lonely and just really genuinely defeated in every sense of the word. It’s not helped by work being stressful and having a very static unchanging schedule. I would go into more detail and maybe i will when i have more time. I have to leave to work now. Woooo. I just right now want to be surrounded by friends and to get out more. Both of which are hard when im working 10 hours a day 5 days a week and by the weekend im too exhausted and feel like i dont have enough free time to do everything i want. It’s cutting into my VA stuff as well and that is something i really care about and have had NO time at all to do. Just ugh. I need companionship and more time. 

[jeremytheblack]

Also, guess who started watching Steven Universe

[jeremytheblack]

I never realized how much Parks and Recreationan is on my dash until i started watching it.

[jeremytheblack]

clankie tagged me smh.

Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 92 Truths about you. At the end, choose some people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you.

Tagging: kawaiijessyo and uh backwardsflow and probably phreezing-khold. Bonus : forevernotclever.

Last phone call: My dad i think. Last text message: My sister saying that she was coming home soon. Last song you listened to: Don't ask. Last time you cried: Near the end of last year. BASICALLY, long story short, I was super depressed, and I almost ended up in a relationship with a great girl, and it sort of fell through, and yeah. I just broke down for a little bit.

HAVE YOU EVER:

Dated someone twice: Yep Been cheated on: Debatable, depending on what you count as cheating. But I will say yes, because they stepped over boundaries that shouldn't be in relationships. Kissed someone and regretted it: Nah. Lost someone special: Yep. Been depressed: Been struggling a lot the past few months in fact. Been drunk and threw up: Never even been drunk.

• LIST THREE FAVOURITE COLOURS: Purple, Orange and Green B)

• LAST YEAR, HAVE YOU:

Made a new friend: All sorts. THANKS KTnC Fallen out of love: Yeah yeah. Laughed until you cried: Nah. I have laughed pretty hard. Met someone who changed you: Heck yeah Found out who your true friends are: I have. Found out someone was talking about you: :Yep yep. Oh well i guess. Most people have a positive opinion of me.

• GENERAL:

How many people on your FB friends list do you know in real life: The Majority. But i rarely use facebook

• FIRSTS:

First surgery: never had one. First piercing: Fun fact. My ear is pierced. i don't wear it anymore but you know. First best friend: Cara, from Second grade. I actually found her on facebook one day.  First sport you joined: Basketball. Hah. Sports aren't a thing I do. First vacation: Family trip to Virginia. To see my dads side of the family. First pair of trainers:  in MURICAN please.

• RIGHT NOW:

Eating: I just ate some Nachos. Drinking: Water I’m about to: Script, and hopefully record some things.

• YOUR FUTURE:

Want kids: Yee one day. Get married: Yeah yeah. Career: Voice Acting, or just general computer wizardry. 

• WHICH IS BETTER:

Lips or eyes: Eyes i guess? Hugs or Kisses: I mean hugs are more universal so. Shorter or Taller: Shorter, so it's easier to beat you up and take your lunch money. Older or younger: Maybe same age? Or Younger? In what regard? like romantic partners idk. So vague. If that's the case then older a tad maybe, because younger people are mostly underage unless their 18. Romantic or Spontaneous: Both are nice. But I guess Spontaneous Nice stomach or nice arms: make a man go *whistle noise* Sensitive or Loud: Again. Either or. I do like quiet times tho. Hook-up or relationship: Relationships i guess, but like just fun little dates and stuff aren't bad. Trouble maker or hesitant: trouble maker, because i'm hesitant, and if we both are, nothing is going to get done.

• HAVE YOU EVER:

Kissed a stranger: Nah Drank hard liquor: Nah Lost glasses/contacts: Nah Sex on first date: Nah Broke someone’s heart: Maybe? I might have. Arrested: nah Turned someone down: yah Cried when someone died: nah Fallen for a friend: Yep yep.

• DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

Yourself: I do my best to. Miracles: not really, says the Hardcore Makara fan. Love at first sight: i mean i guess you can crush on someone. My last relationship was a mutual crush at first sight, and we stayed together for almost 2 years. So idk. Heaven: Maybe. It's a fun idea, but i don't know. Santa Claus: nah Kiss on the first date: Sure Angels: I have no idea how religious i even am. So to be safe, no.

[jeremytheblack]

so like were were flirting or....because id be totally down if that was flirting