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Prompt: Mashiro tries to play matchmaker, and Kensei has had enough

“Why don’t you just go talk to her?” Mashiro asked. Spinning around in her chair next to their captain, while her partner did all the work.

“I can’t just do that Mashiro-senpai.” He replied. Calling her by her preferred honorific as, upon meeting him, insisted that he call her ‘senpai’ as she was older and the original 9th lieutenant. Dutiful as ever, Shuhei accepted her request without question; even if she had originally meant it as a joke. “That would be too forward.”

“Saying hello is too forward?” The pixie replied. Seeming genuinely confused before she sighed and slumped down in her chair. “Kenseeeei, we’re never going to get him married off.”

“Drop it, Mashiro. We’re not going over this topic again.” The captain replied. Not looking up from his paperwork.

The topic in question was the new 5th seat that had joined their ranks. With recent losses on the battlefield, there had been a lot of shifting of existing Shinigami and promotion of new ones to fill the ranks. Along with new recruits, [Y/N] had come over from the 12th to fill the open slot when the predecessor had died. Capable, charming, and beautiful, Shuehei had immediately taken notice of their newest member and had become hopelessly smitten. So smitten, in fact, that every time she walked into the room he clammed up. Making the seated officers meeting very complicated these past few months.

“But Kensei! It’s true! If we don’t help then Shuhei’s just going to be this pathetic, lonely, sad-sack for the rest of his life.”

“I’m not helping.”

“I’m not lonely or pathetic!” The men snap back at Mashiro.

She sighed again, this time crossing her arms, and ignoring them both. “Maybe if we sent them on a mission together? Out in the wilderness. That could be romantic…”

“Not. Helping.” Kensei repeated. Stamping the new file with a little more force than needed.

“No. That’ll never work. [Y/N] to clever to get lost in the woods like that. She’d probably find her way back in no time. Maybe we could all go out for drinks? Oh…but you can’t control your liquor….”

“I can drink just fine!” Shuhei insisted. Handing the captain more paperwork, while collected the completed forms, in a practiced choreography. “Just because I don’t power drink like you do, does not mean I can’t drink!”

“Just say you’re a lightweight and we’ll move on.”

“I’m not a lightweight!”

The bickering between the two lieutenants continued over their captain. The vein in his forehead beginning to throb. Until finally Kensei slammed his hands against the desk with a loud boom. “For Gods sakes!!”

He stood up from his desk and stalked over to the door, flinging it open with a wild gate that left many surprised it was still on its hinges. “You!” He shouted as he pointed to the terrified looking 5th seat. Innocently holding papers in the forum. “Go talk to him and figure out if you want to date or not. You!” He pointed at Shuhei with the same intensity he had for [Y/N]. “Get out of my office and don’t come back for 45 minute or your going out that window. Understood!”

“Y-Yes Captain!” Both Shuhei and [Y/N] agree in tandem, before they sprinted off in the same direction to get out of his sight.

Kensei heaved a sigh once they were gone, and went back to his seat to finish paperwork.

“Gee,” Mashiro commented after a pause, “why didn’t I think of that?”

#shuhei hisagi #shuhei x reader #kensei muguruma #mashiro kuna #bleach #bleach scenarios #bleach imagines #scenarios #imagine #bleach humor

The Rain

Nice how Orihime wants to be the rain to connect with Ichigo.

Because of Rukia the rain has finally stopped.

Because of the trauma of being a child soldier, Ichigo became a masochist and he married the Rain.

#ichiruki vs ichihime #pro ichiruki #bleach humor #sorry orihime you're the princess but rukia is the queen #we know that kubos's self-insert is mayuri so at least he didn't marry rukia with that demented freak