How do you know if your crush is aromantic? I'm sure the girl who's my brother's eyes belongs to that community. How do I prove it? Also, how do I break it to him? He'd be so mad :(
uhhhh. I’m not going to lie, I appreciate that you’re asking this but also I’m terrified by how you seem to intend to go about it.
How do you know if your crush is aromantic?
by talking to them and explicitly asking if they ID as such after making it clear that you support the aro community, even if you may not know much about it.
I'm sure the girl who's my brother's eyes belongs to that community.
Okay. Unfortunate for him, probably very awkward for her.
Here’s kinda where you went wrong. If I’m reading this right, and lmk if I’m not, you want to prove it first to yourself and then to your brother. You can’t prove anyone’s orientation by any means other than talking to them without relying on stereotypes and signalling, and tbh, I’m not inclined to talk about our in-community signalling without the next section being addressed.
Also, how do I break it to him? He'd be so mad :(
So... you... want to do what now? Possibly out her without her permission to him, based on stereotypes, knowing that he’d respond poorly? As an aro, this is totally ideal /s. I cannot begin to describe how much I would fear you and your “good intentions” if you did this. While I understand wanting for your brother to not chase after someone who isn’t interested in him, this is quite possibly the least sensitive way you could go about it.
you can just ask her if she’s interested in him and tell him no if she’s okay with that
you can safety check for her if you think that he’s going to be “so mad” because personally that’s a major red flag? like, idk your brother and idk if it was a poor phrasing, but personally? if someone is mad that someone isn’t interested in them, that’s a horrific sign for how they will treat that person and people who are willing to date them. help run interference if he’s upset at her, and help him find good outlets if you think that’s an okay plan.
if you mean that he’d be upset at himself? then just... do what you’d do if he was turned down and help him through it without demonizing whoever said no. don’t say things like “you deserve better” with regards to being turned down though? or if you do, phrase it as “you deserve someone who wants to be in a relationship with you”
even if she’s aro, some aro people are willing to date. my experience is that most aren’t, but if that’s the case, it’s her choice and a discussion for both of them to have.
