Discover Top Posts Tagged with #bmock

I mean, I know we're in a drought, but it's not that hard to go to Von's and buy water.

Brandon

On the Shittiest States List

Brandon: We don't ever get droughts, this is stupid.

Clinton: We are in a drought RIGHT NOW.

I hate this road. I call it The Stupid Road.

Brandon

I'm studying a picture of a goddamn penis. This is the worst. I didn't know there were so many things in a penis.

Brandon

Me: (whispering) I could eat more ramen. But I had ramen yesterday. I might have a problem.

Brandon: (whispering) You might. But, but don't listen to me. (pause) I'm not your conscience.

There was this girl who approved me on Tinder, but I think it was a mistake.

Brandon

Brandon: Who are you??? WHO AM I LIVING WITH???

Me: I DON'T KNOW. WHAT IF I'M CRAZY. WHAT IF I HAVE SCHIZOPHRENIA??? WOULD YOU STILL BE MY FRIEND??

Brandon: All I have to say is -- don't do LSD.

I just unleashed a battle through my butt.

Brandon

#bmock