stoner!reader and sero get high ASF one night and katsuki sees them sneaking off into the dorm kitchen and is like "why are you two acting so weird" and they're like "we're high as balls dude" and katsukis like "so you got my girl high?" and before it can escalate further reader just shoves a *special* brownie in his face and boom all three of them are high as balls talking about some philosophical type shit
𐔌 brownies | k. bakugo & h. sero .ᐟ ֹ ꒱ִ
ᝰ.ᐟ cw: college!au, weed brownies mention, crack, random yappathon (conversation), possibly misinterpreted (not accurate), stoner!fem!reader, stoner!hanta, slightly jealous!katsuki, established relationship (with katsuki)
ᝰ.ᐟ synopsis: being high with your boyfriend and his friend
ᝰ.ᐟ a/n 💬: i never actually experienced being high, so excuse the possible inaccuracy … but this is the kind of conversation i could imagine with my friends 💔. wait, is that backrooms mentioned ? ⤷ m.list ˎˊ˗
“hantaaa…!” katsuki jolts up and hears you immediately because you and hanta are not subtle at all. the both of you whispering that’s somehow too loud, like you both think lowering your volume automatically cancels out the fact that you’re giggling every five seconds.
the exaggerated “normal walking” down the hallway and the way you both pause outside the kitchen, the random laughter cuts off the second he steps out of his room.
“the hell,” he steps into the hallway slowly, arms crossed over his chest, leaning one shoulder against the wall, already preparing to be irritated. “why are you two acting so weird.”
you freeze mid step and hanta freezes as well alongside of you, his arm that was wrapped around your shoulder dropping.
then you both turn to look at him and start laughing, as if that somehow answers the question. “nothing !” hanta says way too fast, voice cracking at the end.
katsuki’s eye twitches. “don’t ‘nothing’ me. what are you doing sneaking around at midnight ? with my girlfriend ?”
you’re swaying a little, not drunkenly, just … a little off. holding a plastic container against your chest, like it contains state secrets instead of baked goods.
your smile is just a little too wide and your eyes a little too glossy and katsuki narrows his eyes at you, your delayed reactions and the way hanta is trying way too hard not to laugh, beginning to cough.
“…you’re high,” he says slowly, accusation and realization blending together. you gasp like he’s cracked a code and hanta immediately loses it, bending over with a wheeze. “both of you are…”
katsuki’s jaw tightens as he shifts his glare to hanta. “so, you got my girl high ?”
“i did not get your girl high,” hanta defends immediately, hands up like he’s in court. “she is her own person !— she volunteered, enthusiastically. i actually think she peer pressured me...”
you nod very seriously in agreement, a grin on your face. “katsuki,” you say gently, already popping open the container with slow, exaggerated care. “baby, relax. you’re being too loud and your aura is superrr aggressive.”
“don’t ‘baby’ me— i’m being loud because you’re—” and before he can finish, you shove half a brownie directly into his mouth.
there’s a split second where he looks ready to commit a felony. he sputters, nearly chokes, eyes wide in betrayal as he tries to process the sudden mouthful. he glares at you while chewing, crumbs threatening to fall because he refuses to open his mouth fully out of pride.
“what the hell is wrong with you !?—” he manages after swallowing, voice rough and offended.
hanta just pats his shoulder with confidence. “welcome to the experience, my guy.”
katsuki chews again, slower this time. he glares, chews, and swallows. there’s a pause where he considers spitting it out purely out of spite, but he doesn’t.
“…if i get sick,” he mutters flatly, wiping a crumb from the corner of his mouth, “i’m killing both of you. specifically at inconvenient times.”
“you won’ttt,” hanta says calmly. “you’ll transcend.” katsuki rolls his eyes but doesn’t ask for water, he just stands there scowling at both you and hanta.
fifteen minutes later, all three of you are sitting on the dorm kitchen floor because standing turned into leaning against the cabinets, leaning turned into sliding down them, and now you’re all sprawled out on cold tile.
katsuki is on his back, staring at his hands. he flexes his fingers slowly, watching the way they move with intense concentration. one arm is tucked behind his head, the other loosely hooked around your waist, keeping you against him. even high, he still gravitates toward you.
“…why does the floor feel comfortable,” he mutters after a long silence, voice lower than usual, calmer and genuinely curious.
“the floor is awesome,” hanta slurs from a few feet away, already starfished out.
katsuki snorts softly, which is how you know he’s high now, instead of his angry demeanor a while ago. he turns his head slightly toward you, eyes heavy but focused. “i’m hungry,” he adds after a second, and right on cue, his stomach growls loudly.
you lift your head to look at him, delighted. “oh my …”
he scowls faintly. “shut up and don’t look at me like that.”
hanta props himself up on one elbow. “bro, the munchiesss?”
katsuki sits up halfway immediately, as if activated. “yo, we got more of those brownies?”
“you literally just threatened to haunt us,” you remind him.
“uh yeah, well. i’ve reconsidered.” he reaches for the container without shame, already digging through it. “if i’m ‘transcending,’ i’m not doing it on an empty stomach.”
he breaks off another piece, then pauses, looking between you and hanta. “…don’t touch this one. this is mine.”
“greedy,” hanta accuses with another snort.
“fuck up,” katsuki slurs, taking a bite and chewing thoughtfully like he’s judging a baking competition. “these are actually kinda good. did you make these ?”
you beam, “maybe.” he nods once in approval, which in katsuki language is basically a love confession. then he flops back down, chewing lazily, noticeably more relaxed than either of you expected.
a beat passes while katsuki chews lazily and you end up staring at the ceiling tiles, unblinking. “… do you guys think the backrooms are actually scary ?”
hanta turns his head, concerned. his brows pinch together as he props himself up slightly on one elbow. “… what kinda question is that ?”
you shrug slowly, still staring upward. “it’s a serious question.” your hand lifts toward the ceiling lazily as you try to explain further. “because everybody talks about like … the monsters and stuff, but i feel like the scary part isn’t even the monsters.”
katsuki snorts quietly through his nose, reaching into the brownie container again. “yeah right, you’d be scared as shit.”
you gasp softly and turn toward him, rolling your eyes. “well !… i mean, yeah.”
he blinks, expecting a smart remark from you at least. “…why’re you agreeing with me ?”
you sit up slightly, suddenly invested. “because think about it. yeah, the monsters — no, entities would be scary, but imagine you noclip into the backrooms or whatever and there’s nothing there.”
hanta stares, listening as he rubs the stubble on his chin. “… okay wait,” he then squints. “that’s actually kinda scary.”
you point at him. “exactly !” you sit up completely, way too invested now. “i feel like the entities are not even what gets you.”
hanta’s brows pinch as he raises one of them. “then what …?”
you stare at the ceiling for a second before answering quieter. “being stuck.”
katsuki glances over and you continue. “because there’s no like ending, it’s just a loop.” your hand moves vaguely in a circle shape as you try to explain some more. “like every level looks different, but they all feel weirdly familiar.”
you then frown, just thinking about it trips you up. “like places you swear you’ve seen before but you haven’t and they all feel nostalgic for no reason !”
hanta begins nodding slowly. “… you’re right. that’s the shit they be showin’ on tiktok.” he pauses, then adds, “i wonder if they have a smell …”
you blink, turning to look at him. “… why would you ask that ?”
he shrugs and leans back a little. “because every weird place got a lil smell.”
you stare for a second before nodding with a snicker. “lowkey, you’re right.” you point at him again. “the poolrooms probably smells like wet concrete.”
hanta grimaces with a lazy smile afterwards. “… eeyuck.”
you chuckle and then your expression scrunches again and your voice quiets. “… but like what do you even think about after a while of being there ?”
the kitchen goes quieter except for the sound of katsuki chewing. you stare upward, “i feel like eventually i’d stop trying to leave.”
the two boys stare at you like you’re crazy and you laugh softly but it comes out a little shaky and weird. “not because i’d want to stay — gosh, no !” you think for a second, “… but because i feel like your brain literally isn’t built for something with no end.” your hand drops onto your stomach. “like eventually i think i’d forget what 'normal' looked like.”
katsuki finally finishes chewing and shrugs. “… that’d piss me off.” you glance over at him, and he looks genuinely annoyed, imagining it. “the idea that somewhere exists with no exit.” his brows pull together. “nah. fuck that.” he shakes his head once. “i’d keep lookin'.”
he continues before looking away. “and if i don’t find one i’m blowin’ that shit up.”
you stare and then smile, laughing quietly at the fact he’s actually indulging in a conversation like this, coming back to the realization that your boyfriend is just as much of a conspiracy theorist as you — he’s literally a nerd. “that’s the most… you statement ever.”
he scoffs, “shut up.” then after a second, he says, “… also,” he speaks slower this time as he tries to figure out how exactly he wants to say this. “if we all ended up there together i feel like we’d figure it out … eventually.”
he pauses and then immediately scowls, peeping what he just said. “not in a sentimental way.”
you and hanta look at each other and hanta slowly points. “…he’s high.”
you nod, agreeing and then cooing to katsuki, “…that’s kinda cute, kats.” his face twists instantly. “tch, yeah whatever …”
then after a second, he shifts closer to you, pressing his face briefly into your shoulder. “you for sure would make it, you’d beat the shit outta them. you’re strong.” his voice is softer now, steadier as he glances up at you, his eyes unfocused and lazy, but he looks so in love.
you grin lazily, weaving your fingers through his spikes. “yay, thank you. you’re so much nicer like this …”
“… shut up,” he mutters again, but this time, he’s smiling against your skin and lowering his head to place light kisses on you.
hanta rolls his eyes with a scoff at how sappy his friend gets with you, his girl. “c’mon bro ...” then chuckles and adds, “wait, imagine hearing somebody turn the corner and thinking it’s your friend — like denks, and then it’s not—”
you gasp and katsuki groans against your skin. “… okay now i’m done with this conversation !—”
the hallway outside erupts in distant laughter from some other dorm, someone yelling about a failed beer pong shot, a door slamming somewhere on the floor above you.
hanta eventually lifts his head slightly after being basically scolded by katsuki. “do you guys think we’ll remember this conversation tomorrow ?”
“no, probably not,” you say with a grin.
“nah,” katsuki agrees, already reaching for another brownie as if he’s preparing for hibernation.
hanta nods. “good because i think we just discussed a government project and i don’t want nothin' to do with that, the government is spooky as shit ...”
you start giggling again at his term 'governent project,' soft at first, then contagious, and hanta joins, though he’s being serious. katsuki tries not to and fails, his shoulders shaking as he huffs out a laugh.
and somewhere between the laughter, katsuki looks at you, his eyes all soft and hazy. “you, you’re not allowed to get high without me again,” he mutters.
you smile softly. “that’s ... that's the takeaway ?”
“yeah.” he pulls you closer, forehead bumping your shoulder clumsily, nose brushing your skin as he speaks. “if we’re gonna question stuff, we’re doing it together … and i’m not missin’ out on free food again.”
hanta groans, grimacing at the both of you. “i’m literally right here dude.”
“then stop third wheeling, bum,” katsuki shoots back lazily, already reaching past you for the container one more time. “and don’t touch the last one. i’m serious.”
but he doesn’t let you go, still clinging onto you regardless of his gluttony.
and the three of you stay there on the kitchen floor of your crappy off-campus apartment, arguing about how one another would act in a backrooms perdicament and whether katsuki is allowed to claim dibs on baked goods in a shared space that he didn’t even make, until the multiple brownies eventually take full effect on you all.
ᝰ.ᐟ a/n 💬: heh being around them both high and then it turns into kats getting too clingy and making out in front of hanta — uhnooo lemme stop. he might watch, i dunno 👀
