#bnp testimonies

[blacknerdproblems]

In response to the staggering election results in which many members of marginalized communities experienced how disconnected they were from their fellow citizens as the country elected bigotry and hatred; Black Nerd Problems put out the call to hear how people were coping. Here is a collection of short essays on what we’re doing, just to get by.

Threat:

Pahole Sookkasikon

A queer man of color, the son of immigrants, and an optimist

 Regarding the recent election, Junot Díaz recently penned in an open letter, “let’s be real: we always knew this shit wasn’t going to be easy.” On the real though, it’s never been fucking easy – especially for folks of color, queer communities, women, and others attuned to ideas of intersectionality. We’ve always had to fight. We’ve always had to fight. To stay focused. Breathe. Wash the tears out of our eyes… Breathe. Wash the tears out of our eyes. Pretend to forget while still remembering the spit and the dirt thrown in our faces. You know, fucking live. We’ve had to live with targets on our backs and walk out the door every day, reminding ourselves “that melanin though.” [sigh.]

Since the election, I have had to have conversations with many of my white friends, students, colleagues, and professors about Trump’s ascension to presidency and what it means to be a queer person of color in this “new world.” I’ve had to seemingly deflect or humble my anger to appropriately articulate why folks of color can’t “relax” through this term as well as defend why the personal is always fucking political – and vice versa. I have had white people in my life call me “overly sensitive” while throwing statistics and charts my way, lamenting on how poverty is the real issue at hand and most of the violence against POC are directly from other POC. One of these people is my best friend. He’s white.

[Photo of Author from Protests in Hawaii. November, 2016]

As a queer person of color living in this “new normal,” I ask: where do we—the diasporic, people of color, queer, women, trans, immigrant, and others—belong in this new world?

Read on here. [x]

[blacknerdproblems]

In response to the staggering election results in which many members of marginalized communities experienced how disconnected they were from their fellow citizens as the country elected bigotry and hatred; Black Nerd Problems put out the call to hear how people were coping. Here is a collection of short essays on what we’re doing, just to get by.

The Threat: Miranda Sandi/ Twitter: @knowstheword / Facebook: Shoot the Projectionist

(1) Indigenous American and (2) Indigenous Mexican, (3) non-Christian, (4) woman.

My self-care began on Tuesday before the election results came in. I went to my regular EMDR therapy session despite the historical significance of the day. I prioritized my mental health. I’ll need it, I joked to myself, if this election goes bad. Ha.

On Wednesday I grieved. If the last four years have taught me anything it is that grief takes its own time. Trying to cover it or hurry it is a waste and a lie. I was able to go home early and join DH on his day off. He had been watching Star Trek Enterprise all day and we agreed that it was a necessary thing to keep our minds off of the despair. I sat in my chair, wrapped myself around the purring knot of our cat Pete, and let my heart buzz and ache as it would. I let the tears fall and I let myself feel the dismay or fear or loss as they came.

On Thursday I began to communicate. I posted on Facebook, speaking honestly about wanting to leave the country to escape the abuser that looms large in our foreseeable future. I asked for help finding reasons to stay.

Read on here. [x]

http://blacknerdproblems.com/bnp-testimonies-captains-log-after-the-election/

[blacknerdproblems]

In response to the staggering election results in which many members of marginalized communities experienced how disconnected they were from their fellow citizens as the country elected bigotry and hatred; Black Nerd Problems put out the call to hear how people were coping. Here is a collection of short essays on what we’re doing, just to get by.

The Threat:

Lauryn Tillman / Twitter: @Blaquestarr/Instagram: @Blaquestarr

Black cis-gendered woman who knows she is a threat simply by existing as Black and Female.

A week before the election, I found myself humming “Walk Through the Fire.” I had two papers to write that evening and in my quest to continue to procrastinate, I found the “Once More With Feeling” episode’s soundtrack online to fulfill my need for geeky musicals. On my 8-hour drive home that weekend to vote in my hometown, I continued to loop Joss Whedon’s Buffy the Vampire Slayer musical. I voted Tuesday morning, hopped back in my car to drive back to campus for an Election Watch Party, and thought my itch for the Buffy-verse was done. However, as the reality settled in that Trump would be the next president-elect, I found myself wondering if I was suddenly living in Sunnydale. I felt numb and Buffy’s verse in “Walk Through the Fire” took on a whole new meaning.

Still in shock, I went home and started watching Buffy on Netflix. Every day since the election, after school and work, I go home and marathon the episodes. I’ve always loved the series, but now, I crave it. I realized I rather live in a horror fantasy than in the Trump reality.

Even in my disillusionment with the current reality we face, my need for Buffy the Vampire Slayer corresponds with my need for safety and reassurance. I was disappointed that a strong woman with a resume that showcased she was clearly qualified for President was blocked by a man that has never held an elected office let alone a real job. The reassurance I needed that as a woman, I can still come out on top despite how others portray capable women as too strong, emotional, or underestimate their skills came in the form of blond-haired former-cheerleader Buffy Summers, just trying to do what’s right and save some lives while she’s at it.

Read on here. [x]

http://blacknerdproblems.com/bnp-testimonies-walking-through-fire/

@blaquestarr

[blacknerdproblems]

In response to the staggering election results in which many members of marginalized communities experienced how disconnected they were from their fellow citizens and the country elected bigotry and hatred; Black Nerd Problems put out the call to hear how people were coping. Here is a collection of short essays on what we’re doing, just to get by.

The Threat:

Ash Davis / Twitter: @tokenblackchick

Queer black woman writing to keep her sanity in what looks to be the start of a post apocalyptic movie starring Brad Pitt and no black people.

I was sick the night of November 8th. Sicker November 9th. But by November 10th I was better. Days into what feels like the prologue of a post-apocalyptic video game, I’m okay.

My kids comfort me.

But I’m not talking about physical offspring. I don’t have any children.

I mean my characters; the beings I give life to in the pages of my fanfiction.

We Black nerds know the nerdy stuff we love to consume — the video games, the movies, the TV shows — have few, poorly written, or no Black characters at all. Which in turn means their fandoms and fanfictions remain as woefully white as their subject material. Ever since I began writing fanfiction, I’ve worked to change that. To write Black people into these stories like notes scribbled in the margins that end up being better than the book.

Read on here. [x]

http://blacknerdproblems.com/bnp-testimonies-the-kids-are-alright/

[blacknerdproblems]

In response to the staggering election results in which many members of marginalized communities experienced how disconnected they were from their fellow citizens and the country elected bigotry and hatred; Black Nerd Problems put out the call to hear how people were coping. Here is a collection of short essays on what we’re doing, just to get by.

The Threat:

Ethan Rivera / Twitter: @ethantrivera

A Latino and Middle Eastern man in a world of Trumples.

The election results were obviously not ideal. But by far, the worst part for me was watching the election with my white friends. They watched it making the Gary-Payton-can’t-believe-that-white-boy-can-dunk face.

For me, election night was an M. Night Shyamalan flick where you see the ending coming 10 minutes in, but you already paid $10 so you might as well see how long it takes everyone else in the room to figure it out too. So I went out to get more Skittles, which in the real world is going to bed at 10 PM on election night, and when I got back, Trump was President and all I had were “I love you” texts from all of my white friends.

My father is a man with a bit of a temper, and I am definitely my father’s son. He yelled a lot when I was a kid, and when I turned 13, I realized I could yell too. My temper was short and I struggled to keep a hold of it. It took me years of real work to finally get myself in control of my anger and figure out better ways of expressing myself. 

But after the election, for the first time in years, I let myself be angry. I did not respond to my white friends. I did not talk to them. I did not care to see them. I told my roommate, a white man, that he was going to have to deal with my frustration in our apartment and I did not apologize for it. I only ate lunch with my fellow non-white coworkers. I used over-the-ear headphones in a cohort office filled with white faces who still found time to complain about clothes or how much time they had on their hands. I played video games where I could create characters that look like me and dunk on all of the white men who tried to stop me...

Read on here. [x]

http://blacknerdproblems.com/bnp-testimonies-today-i-get-to-be-angry/

[blacknerdproblems]

In response to the staggering election results in which many members of marginalized communities experienced how disconnected they were from their fellow citizens as the country elected bigotry and hatred; Black Nerd Problems put out the call to hear how people were coping. Here is a collection of short essays on what we’re doing, just to get by.

The Threat:

Lorenzo Simpson / Twitter: The Joanin’ Jonin @MeistermahnIV

Black nerd whose goals in life include uplifting his skinfolk through humor, ridding the world of toxic masculinity, and whipping the perfect Hollandaise sauce.

I woke up the morning after the election, rolled over on my side, rubbed my eyes with my left and checked Twitter with my right. One of the first stories I saw come rolling up my timeline was that of KKK members parading the streets of North Carolina in honor of their new president. How fortunate they must be to finally have someone in office that will listen to the plight of the bigoted old white man. I kept scrolling, seeing more images of that tangerine mug assaulting my vision. For a minute, I convinced myself that this was just an alternate universe that The Flash had created trying to save his parents for the umpteenth time, and the world would be back to normal once he did another lap around the space-time continuum. But alas, I was stuck with the reality that America will soon be run by the human manifestation of Doctor Doom.

Read on here. [x]

http://blacknerdproblems.com/bnp-testimonies-brushing-off-my-wakandan-passport/