7:00 PM
Alpine: The last thing Bob said before he passed out was, “This is just like Jeopardy!”
White Widow: What does that mean?
John: How?
John: What is Bob on?
Pick-A-Boo: Anesthesia. Keep up, Walker.
John: Why must you antagonize me?
Pick-A-Boo: Because.
John: Why is that always your answer?
Pick-A-Boo: Because.
White Widow: Because.
Pick-A-Boo: Because.
White Widow: Because.
Pick-A-Boo: Because.
White Widow: Because.
Pick-A-Boo: Because.
White Widow: Because.
Alpine: Please stop spamming.
John: Yeah, I get it.
Alpine: Anyways, now that he's asleep somebody can bring my food in.
Pick-A-Boo: Not it.
White Widow: Not it.
John: Not it.
White Widow: Walker, you go.
John: I literally said not it, so shouldn't Alexei go?
White Widow: Yes, but Alexei isn't here.
John: I'm sitting right next to him.
White Widow: Don't care.
John: Why me?
White Widow: Because it's your turn to watch Bob.
John: Why are we acting like Bob can't be left alone for ten minutes while he sleeps?
White Widow: Nope.
John: What does “nope” mean? That isn't a correct reply?!?!?!?!
White Widow: Nope.
Pick-A-Boo: Watch him complain for five minutes and then do it anyways.
Red Guardian: Haha, he is already getting food for Bucky.
Alpine: I can come out into the living room.
John: Di4btr 't fuckgitn bothaheror r whif suf fat As fucj Ass.
White Widow: What?
Pick-A-Boo: Why were the only words correctly spelled “fat” and “ass”?
John: Shufurosso i'm tpyifna with obesity hand
White Widow: Again, I repeat what?
Pick-A-Boo: Obesity 🤣
Alpine: He said he's typing with one hand.
White Widow: How did you read that????
Alpine: I've read worse texts.
White Widow: Who is texting worse than this??????
Alpine: T’Challa.
Pick-A-Boo: King T’Challa texted you 🤨
Alpine: Yes. When I was in Wakanda he gave me a phone and we texted regularly.
Pick-A-Boo: You had the phone numbers of King T’Challa???
White Widow: I do not believe you.
Alpine: And Shuri, I guess, which is how I learned slang.
Pick-A-Boo: What the actual fuck?
Pick-A-Boo: You actually had a phone?
White Widow: Now I definitely do not believe you.
Alpine: Why are you shocked? Did you guys think I had no technology?
Pick-A-Boo: Yes, actually.
White Widow: I just assumed you lived in a hut like some old medieval man and only did farm work.
Red Guardian: I believe you.
Red Guardian: Bucky can give me Princess Shuri’s phone number.
Alpine: Absolutely not.
Alpine: Also, I had a phone. Steve would text over it. Of course it was heavily monitored, but I had technology, you guys. I didn't live in some hut with nothing.
White Widow: Holy shit.
White Widow: I'm telling Bob first thing he wakes up.
John: Cold. Can I has a blanket?
White Widow: Please stop with the out of nowhere texts. It is giving me a headache.
Pick-A-Boo: Why aren't any of your texts making any sense?
John: That's rich coming from you.
John: And also
John: That's what Bob said.
White Widow: He's up.
John: More like half asleep.
White Widow: Oh, he is sleepy. Hope he rests.
John: Anyways, someone come get another blanket.
Pick-A-Boo: Omw
7:38 PM
Pick-A-Boo: Walker is such a fake asshole.
John: What are you talking about?
White Widow: Yes, Ava, we knew this. We agreed to keep it secret.🤫
Pick-A-Boo: Acting all soft giving Bob the goo-goo eyes.
John: I wasn't.
Pick-A-Boo: Uh, yeah you were.
White Widow: John Walker, you will not give Bobert any eyes.
John: I wasn't!!!!!
Alpine: Sure, bud.
John: Oh Jesus Christ, not you too, Bucks. I don't like Bob.
John: Besides, Bob likes Sam, remember?
Pick-A-Boo: Yes, we know he has a thing for Captain America’s ass.
John: Do not say it like that.
John: I'm not, like, in love with Bob, okay?
White Widow: Good. If I see my twin brother fucking my younger brother I will jump off a building.
Red Guardian: What is wrong with that?
Pick-A-Boo: What isn’t wrong with that?
Alpine: Please elaborate before either of us think worse of you.
Red Guardian: I mean, they are not actually siblings.
White Widow: They are to me.
Pick-A-Boo: Yelena, you gotta pick one.
John: What? Why am I your twin? I'm like two years older than you.
White Widow: Don't care.
White Widow: We share a birthday; we are twins.
John: That isn't how twins work?????????
White Widow: I DO NOT CARE!!!!!!
Red Guardian: I think Walker is older brother, correct?
John: I'm not her brother.
Pick-A-Boo: Yeah, he's more like the angry mom.
John: I'm not that either!!!!
Red Guardian: Would make me dad.
White Widow: Ew, Dad, do not ever say that.
John: Never mind, I'd rather be her brother.
Red Guardian: What? What did I say that is wrong?
Pick-A-Boo: Everything.
White Widow: If anything, Bucky is the dad.
Pick-A-Boo: Nah, Bucky is more like the uncle that ends up raising us.
Alpine: I'm no one’s dad.
White Widow: Okay, sure.
White Widow: Remember when we watched Riverdale and you called it dumb but still stood there with your arms folded behind the couch?
Pick-A-Boo: Oh yeah, he watched the whole season with us.
Alpine: What does that have to do with anything?
Pick-A-Boo: That's a dad thing.
Alpine: How would you know? You don't even have a dad.
White Widow: Whoa, Barnes.
Alpine: Okay, sorry. That was way too far.
Red Guardian: Yes, very far.
Pick-A-Boo: Hey, I'm friends with Scott, so I can confirm that is the most dad thing to ever dad.
John: Woke up and started flailing his arms around while excitedly yelling, “Where the house party at?!?”
White Widow: I find I repeat this a lot, but what?
John: Bob. He woke up and asked that.
Pick-A-Boo: Lol.
John: Yeah, I think he's actually up for good this time.
White Widow: Oh, we're on our way.
(Pt 1)
