Hello everyone, it’s come to my attention that I have too many followers so I’m going to tell you my conspiracy theory about culinary competition shows. I don’t think I’ve told anyone this before so I hope you’re excited. It is marked NSFW intentionally. This is NSFW. It’s also not vaguely f1 related
If you unfollow me for this pls send me an ask so I can track its effectivity for the next time I have too much traction on my page. I have to keep the property values down.
Okay, hello everyone, this opinion comes from the fact that I’ve only really watched 3 culinary competition shows, but I have watched those 3 shows religiously and I have noticed something. Obviously I know the basics of other shows like chopped or masterchef, but I haven’t seen more than a few episodes, so they aren’t included here meaning I have a small sample size for this theory: cutthroat kitchen, hell’s kitchen, and beat bobby flay. I will explain for each how the theory applies.
The theory: these shows are set up as ways for each of their requisite “hosts” to be funded to act out their kinks in public.
At this point you might be confused on the nuance and that makes sense. To clarify nuance is that the shows are set up as ways for each of their requisite “hosts” to be funded to act out their kinks in public. Hope this helps.
Evidence:
Evidence #1: cutthroat kitchen. I really don’t think I need to explain this one. Alton Brown calls himself daddy, puts his contestants in literal bondage, punishes them for violating rules, and has a pair of sub twinks that he sometimes physically manhandles on camera. He is a hard dom, a sadist, with a particular fondness for predicament bondage.
Evidence #2: beat bobby flay. This one can be interpreted in a few ways but his little “everyone’s out to beat me” and the way he hires his friends to verbally degrade him on television? It’s devious stuff. He’s a bratty switch and there’s nothing he loves more than degradation and a power struggle.
Evidence #3: hell’s kitchen. I think this may be the most understated one, but chef ramsey is hard into this weird James Bond sugar daddy role play thing. He loves doing this cringe thing where he will like ride a speedboat to catch up to the winning team on their party boat, or drive around drivers in his fancy cars. Like he tries aurafarming at least twice a season. He loves saying shit like “good girl,” handing wads of cash for rewards, and flexing his money and power by offering ambiguous positions to contestants he’s eliminating. In the process of showing off how rich and cool he is, he employs one rich European per season whom he doms for fun in front of his competitors to prove he is the alpha, the richest most aura filled sugar daddy in the place. Essentially he has a flaunting his money, sugar daddy kink
Problems with the theory:
Small sample: I only have these shows to go off. Maybe these shows in particular just happen to work for the theory
US-centrism: the shows here are primarily usamerican. HK has international seasons but I can’t seem to pirate them successfully. So maybe this is contained within a specific cultural context.
Definition of kink: this implies there is sexual gratification rather than a personality thing. I can’t prove that, but I think HK is the strongest indicator here because that vibe is not really necessary for the show (and I also find it super cringe) so Gordon has to be getting *something* out of it because my nipples invert into my body when he pulls out the leather jacket.
There are no other problems with this post or theory. This theory is flawless. If you disagree, you’re wrong. If you’re like hey actually my favorite cooking competition doesnt have this, the host could be vanilla or maybe you’re too vanilla to get it. Think about that. Youre probably wrong. If you’ve seen a culinary competition show that abides by my theory, I want to hear about it because I love confirmation bias. Hope this helps. Ciao.
look… i know this take is so niche but there has to be at least ONE other person who gets sexual tension vibes between brooke, bobby, and michael on triple threat. obviously we know brooke and bobby are dating, but they have an ENERGY with michael that makes me feel crazy
#project hail mary
#lana del rey
#f1
#heated rivalry
