CHANGE (IN THE HOUSE OF FLIES)
pairings: vampire!bobby skeetz x fem!reader au
summary: complications between you and bobby's relationship spark when you ask him for the truth, but he's scared he'll hurt you.
warnings: blood! suggestive beginning, angst, fighting, forbidden romance, fluff near the end, bobby turns her into a vampire
word count: 3,492
author's note: this idea has been living in my mind ever since i started reading twilight...and i swear the books are better!
"you know you can talk to me, right?" you sit up in bed, watching bobby pace around the room. the dim lighting creates a glimmer on his bare chest. his veiny hands are digging into his blonde strands, pulling forcefully with his eyes squeezed shut.
you’ve never seen him like this. so paranoid, so anxious. you didn’t think the night would take a turn like this.
───
you and bobby had went out to a small greek restaurant around the corner from your flat earlier that night. you ordered the steak, and he insisted on paying. he had made the night special for you, keeping his hand in yours while you walked to the restaurant and taking you walking around the boardwalk because you had been too early for your reservation.
after the wine poured, so did the longing looks and the laughing coming easily. and then the teasing touches, his fingers on your thigh and your eyes set on his lips.
you two had nearly rushed out of there, his shirt shrugged off in the doorway as your lips moved against his. your cheeks went pink, laughing all the way towards the bedroom. when he pressed you back against the bed and lowered his lips to yours, you were stuck in a haze, forgetting everything that happened earlier that night. the only thing on your mind was him.
but when his lips hit your neck, and he sucked the skin gently, you gasped. all of a sudden, like he had a revelation, he pulled back, his face disappearing from your view. your eyes fluttered open, brows knitting together in confusion. "bobby?" you asked, your voice still shaky from the rush of it all.
he's already at the door, which scares you. how did he move so quickly from one place to another? how did he do it so quietly? his hands are in his hair and he's shaking his head, whispering to himself, mumbles you can't hear no matter how quiet it is in the room.
"did i do something wrong?" you ask hesitantly, sitting up on your elbows. he turns around, his blue eyes gone darker, more fierce. "it's not you." he grumbles, trying to keep his expression the same.
you purse your lips together in disappointment. he hasn't been talking to you lately. and you want to tell yourself it's not what you think it is. even though it might be.
"you know you can talk to me, right?" you sit up on the bed fully, watching bobby pace around the room. the dim lighting creates a glimmer on his bare chest. his veiny hands are digging into his blonde strands, pulling forcefully with his eyes squeezed shut.
you’ve never seen him like this. so paranoid, so anxious. you didn’t think the night would take a turn like this.
you pull a few messy strands of hair behind your ear, taking a large gulp. the best thing to do right now is give him space. "i don't like that we keep doing this," his voice is shaky but he tries his hardest to steady himself.
you look down at his sweating palms, his knuckles going white as he grips the edge of the vanity in your bedroom. ever since he's told you he isn't human, something far more dangerous than your kind, you didn't run away. you stayed right there and accepted him. and out of all the confessions he's ever had to admit to, that reaction scared him the most.
you didn't flee. no, instead, you reached for his hand. even though he tried to pull away, you reached further and touched his cheek. and what he asked you broke your heart; the way you could see he wanted you so badly but stopped himself in fear of hurting you.
"don't you think im a monster?" he asked tenderly, your hand still in his. you shook your head and kissed his temple, guiding him down onto the bed next to you. that day was the day he told you everything. and since then, you haven't questioned anything more about his nature. he has feelings just like you, and he knows how to control them, (majority of the time).
tonight, however, his fear has returned. "we don't have to keep doing this." you offer, your voice small. he whips his head around, his eyes narrowing at you curled up in your sheets, waiting for his return.
"you're scared you'll hurt me, but you won't. i know it-" you're cut off with a sharp chuckle coming from across the room. your eyes return to him, his back still turned to you. his jaw is clenching and his fingers are tightening on the white, marble vanity.
"i will hurt you." he says. then louder, "don't you see?" his tone is sharp which makes fear boil inside you. but it's just him. he's no monster.
when you don't reply, he's realized you're shaken up. he takes a deep breath, releases his grip on the marble and carefully moves back towards you. his silver chain sways across his glistening chest as he arrives back in your space.
his body towers over you as he grabs your chin, angling it up to him. "i can't have you." he whispers, looking deep in your eyes.
pain flickers over your expression. "why not?"
"because tonight-" he cuts himself off, a clench to his jaw again. you're tired of going around in circles. "what, bobby? say it." you encourage him, sick of secrets and constant fears that stop you from loving him the way you want to.
he takes a deep breath. "tonight i almost lost control. and if that happens, you could be in serious trouble."
your expression falters just a little bit, but your thoughts finally fill with the realization of how much you love him. how much you're willing to do anything for him. how you're willing to sacrifice freedom for him.
"then lose control." you breathe out shakily. at first, he doesn't think he hears you right. his eyes widen, his fingers drop from your chin, and he takes a step back.
"what?" he asks, louder than anticipated, his expression mixed with fear and disgust from your request. how could you ask him something so absurd?
"you heard me."
"no." he scoffs, returning to his pacing around your bedroom. "no way."
"please, bobby." you beg him, scooting towards the edge of the bed as you plead his name over and over. his sharp eyes gaze at you with furious intensity. "are you crazy? do you know what that could do to you?"
"i don't care." you say.
"i care. i could kill you." he looks at you up and down with an expression like he's just been told the most outrageous thing in the world. "if i feed on you, then your life completely changes." he breathes out, a disgusted squint in his eyes just at the mention of it.
"how?" you ask.
"im not spending my time explaining this to you." he scoffs, grabbing his shirt on the floor. you grab his wrist, forcing his eyes to you. "tell me."
he takes a deep breath, waits a few moments, and then realizes how invested you are. how much you care. "i haven't fed on a human in a very, very long time. if i do, my body will get used to your blood, and I'll lose control. by the time I finish, I'll have to turn you into my kind."
"is there a way you can stay in control?" you ask hesitantly.
he stares blankly at you. "no."
he turns his back to you, walking towards the window. he pulls it open with one hand without any effort, and you wonder how strong he actually is. it takes you both hands to open that window.
he grabs a cig from his back pocket and lights it, taking a long drag. you both don't speak for a long time, letting him process while you wait for him to continue. "im a monster. all of us are. we aren't the same when we hunt, and im never letting you see me like that."
he looks back at you. "ever." he blows the smoke out past his lips with fierce eyes and a sharp tone.
"then turn me." you say, your chin held high.
he scoffs again. "im not in the mood for this."
"im serious, robert." you say sharply. he looks back at you, his eyes still as intense as ever. "i want you to turn me."
"stop it."
"it's what i want."
he doesn't respond, but you can hear his jaw clenching. "i know you crave it."
"please, just stop." he grits through his teeth.
"i know you want my blood."
he digs his palms into his eyes so roughly he starts to see red. "stop it, okay?" he shouts, banging his knuckles onto your vanity. your lipsticks wobble on the table, falling over. he startles you, and you jolt in your position. he's never yelled at you before. you've never seen him this nervous.
his chest rises and falls, trying to calm himself down. he won't lash out again. "i'm sorry." he sighs. he walks over to you, dropping his cig in the ash tray on the windowsill, the chilly breeze mussing up his hair.
"im so, so sorry." he falls to his knees at the foot of the bed, and your soft hands twist in his blonde strands. "its okay." a single tear rolls down your cheek, and you sniffle. he hears it, looking up at you.
"shit, don't cry." he lifts his finger to your face, wiping your tear away. "God, I'm so fucking sorry. I can't be around you. this is why-"
"no, bobby. I want this. I'm willing to do it for you." you place your hand over his.
"stop saying that." he hisses, a tear falling down his cheek. "you don't mean it."
"i do." you cut in.
"you don't realize what you're getting yourself into and how dangerous that is. so just stop. please." he begs you. he won't put you through it, and he won't make you suffer.
"what is the point of my life if you're not in it?" you breathe out, your voice cracking with each word.
his heart sinks at your statement, and he lowers his head to your stomach. you cradle his head in your hands, whispering softly in his ear. "please, all i want is to be with you. forever."
"you'll regret it."
"i can assure you i wont."
he huffs a laugh. "its not easy being like me."
"tell me."
"i don't sleep- can't sleep." he starts. "you need blood, can't eat no more pizza pockets anymore." he teases you, and you start to laugh just the tiniest bit at his words.
"how often?"
"we hunt every weekend."
"okay. cool." you nod.
he chuckles. "you really won't let up, will you?"
you shake your head. "i want you forever."
───
robert in the sunlight has to be the most divine thing you've ever seen. his black button up shirt is flapped open, revealing the rivets in his pale muscles and the intricate cross tattoo that sits on his chest. he's in a much better mood than last night, which makes you smile.
his skin is glowing. his eyes are staring straight into the sun like it doesn't hurt. "i thought you couldn't go into the sun?"
"horrible myth." he jumps off a rock and lands on the grass near you with a sharp chuckle. with one quick movement, he backs you up against the nearest tree, your head softly thudding against the wood. you let out a sharp gasp at the contact, surprised he's in your space so abruptly.
"sorry," he giggles with that bright smile of his. "did i hurt you?" he places his hand behind your hair, cradling your head. he replaces the wood with his palm. "no, im fine." you smile, searching his eyes.
his eyes trail over your face, his nostrils flaring for just a moment. he sniffs you, and you flex your jaw for him. "are you okay?" you ask with a small giggle. his lips lift into a smirk.
"you smell good." he runs his sharp nose along your throat, letting your eyes flutter shut. "yeah?" you breathe out, your voice barely above a whisper. he nods his head. "like vanilla." he smiles from your scent.
your heart is beating loudly, and he notices. "do i scare you?" he asks hesitantly, his eyes flaring with concern. you shake your head. "never."
his face calms. "okay." he huffs a laugh, adjusting closer to you. one of his hands grazes your cheek, then moved his fingers to place a few strands of your silky hair behind your ear.
his breath fans down your neck, tickling you. you giggle. "you should have run from me when you had the chance," he whispers into your neck.
"i tried. it's impossible to be without you." you mutter, but he hears everything regardless of his supernatural abilities.
"last chance." he says, his teeth grazing your neck. you shiver, relaxing back against the tree.
"one question." you cut in. he pulls back just enough to see your eyes. "why did you take me here?" you gesture to the forest, looking around at the bark near your feet and the grassy area beneath the two of you.
"it's the best place to be once you're turned. you can finally run free." he explains so beautifully, you can see the twinkle in his eye and the way his voice brightens as he reminisces.
"are you sure?"
"yes." you let out a shaky exhale, ready for whatever's to come.
"i need to hear you say it. please." he tries to steady himself.
you put your hand on his forearm. "im sure, robert."
"okay." he exhales long, moving towards your neck. "it won't hurt." he mutters. "for long." he adds.
you take another deep breath and close your eyes, trying your best to focus on his scent and the way he's grounding you so you won't slip out of his grip. "sorry." he notices you try to wiggle out. "if you move it'll only hurt more."
"i understand." you say, your voice a hushed whisper.
he leans down to kiss you, his lips meeting your soft ones. he groans at the feeling, so full of high spirits that he can touch you again. "just trust me, okay?" he asks, whispering against your lips.
"i trust you." you lick your lips, tasting his scent of mint and cigarettes on your tongue. he smirks, looking at you once for confirmation, and when you nod, he dips his mouth to your lips and presses another small peck there. after, he kisses your cheek, then the corner of your mouth, before dipping lower.
his lips find your jaw, pressing peppered kisses in a trail down your neck. when they find the soft skin of your throat, he inhales, his large teeth flashing in the bright sunlight. he reveals himself to your neck before one last kiss. "i love you." he whispers before diving in at last.
his teeth sink into your neck, and he hears a sharp gasp escape your lips. at that sound, he winces, knowing he's hurting you. at first, he sucks gently, your blood is travelling down your neck. he's in control. he thinks he has it.
your nails grip at his shoulder as your eyebrows turn inward, trying to steady yourself. "im sorry." he whispers over and over, pulling away from you at some points, a single tear dripping down his cheek. his heart sinks with each gasp, and he feels like a monster. even though you've always promised he's not, he must accept it.
his eyes go wide, his pupils getting so small you only see dark blue, and he's lost it. he's not in control anymore.
he's killing you.
"robert?" you gasp for air, your hands clutching his back. he thirsts for your blood- human blood; a privilege he hasn't let himself grasp in years.
"please, robert. come back." you whisper.
blood travels down his chin as he continues draining you, your voice nothing to him. he can't hear, deaf from excitement, craving your blood. your skin turns paler each second. after a few long minutes, your body slides down the trunk of the tree, and his feral daze is gone.
he falls back, his hands clutching at the dirt as he crawls back against the ground, his eyes wide and his mouth covered in blood. his large fangs are still visible, and he's nothing but disappointed in himself.
he's killed his first love. his only love. "no. no, no, no, no, no." he repeats over and over, crawling back over you near the tree. he cries openly now. it wasn't supposed to get like that.
without hesitation, he pulls back his sleeve with blood stained hands, pushing it past his forearm. he sinks his teeth into his own wrist, wincing at the feeling. he can only imagine how you felt when he drained you.
he crawls closer to you and places your head in his lap. he's kneeling beneath you, forcing your head to his wrist. "drink it, please." he begs you softly, wrapping your lips around his wrist as he guides your head in the right direction.
after a while, your heartbeat starts to quicken, your pale face gaining color, your lips wrapping around his wrist as your lifeline. "yes." he laughs in relief, cradling your head with his other hand.
your eyes open, a hazel and amber color gleaming in the sunlight for the shortest second. you gasp for air, sitting up in his lap. your eyes are back to their normal color, your skin now glimmering with his in the sunlight.
"bobby?" you ask, your voice raspy. his eyes well with tears. "hi." he sighs in relief, cradling your head closer to his, your sweaty foreheads sticking together.
you wipe your mouth with the back of your hand, blood printing your skin. "i feel weird."
he chuckles. "weird how?"
"like im rushing with adrenaline...sorta." your voice airy.
"that's how it is," he chuckles, but then he clears his throat. "im so sorry." the realization sets back in. your brows furrow in confusion. he just gave you immortality. why would he be apologizing?
"why are you sorry?" you ask innocently, your lips turning into a cute pout as you tilt your head to the side of the tree.
"i tried to stay in control. i really tried." his voice breaks as he says this.
you grab his blood stained fingers, threading them through yours. "im here now. and im here forever. im not leaving."
───
"can i?" he asks, his hands travelling over your shoulder blades as the hot water runs over your skin. you nod your head, letting him move your hair out of the way so he can press a gentle kiss to your bare shoulder.
he grabs the soap, pours it onto the loofa, and runs it over your shoulder. he travels the soapy sponge towards your neck, removing any blood stains off you.
you hiss, your eyebrows knitting together. "did that hurt?" he pulls back hesitantly.
"a little." you respond, and he moves to the other side of your neck where the soap won't sting open skin. he continues to wash your hair for you, running his soft fingers into your scalp, making your head fall back against his shoulder. he chuckles, that sound vibrating against your ear.
after your shower, he wraps you in a soft, white towel before tying one low on his waist. you both brush your teeth together in silence as he holds your hair to keep out of the way of toothpaste.
"sit down." he nods his chin towards the toilet seat, and you clutch your towel around your body tighter before plopping down. he towers over you, leaning down on one knee as he grabs the medicine kit under the sink.
he removes ointment and a disinfectant, gently angling your neck upwards toward the ceiling of the steamy bathroom. the mirrors are still foggy, but it's starting to dry up.
you hiss once he applies the disinfectant, but before it stings too much, he wipes it away with water and starts with the ointment. you suck your teeth, and he notices your pain, whispering a small "sorry."
when he's done, he applies a small brown bandage on your neck and kisses you through the rough fabric. "all better." he whispers in your ear, pressing a soft kiss to your temple.
"let me see those fangs." he urges you and you smile. you press your finger in your cheek and pull it open revealing sharp fangs.
he sucks his teeth sharply, shaking his head. "sharp pair." he smirks. "im jealous." he adds while placing a strand of wet hair behind your ear, cradling your cheek.
"i meant what i said, bobby." you mutter. he doesn't respond, just listens. "i want you forever."
he smiles softly. "i know."
───
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