Drawn together by unspoken pain, they begin to unravel each other’s facades in stolen nights and secret glances. But their love is more than forbidden—it’s dangerous. Because Bodhi is bound by oaths, and Ridoc doesn’t yet understand what it truly means to love a Marked One.
And in a world built on war, obedience, and sacrifice… some hearts were never meant to fly free.
In this Bodhi x Ridoc fanfic we watch as watch these two be drawn together by unspoken pain, they begin to unravel each other’s facades in stolen nights and secret glances. But their love is more than forbidden—it’s dangerous. Because Bodhi is bound by oaths, and Ridoc doesn’t yet understand what it truly means to love a Marked One.
And in a world built on war, obedience, and sacrifice… some hearts were never meant to fly free.
TW: Death, Angst
Read on AO3
Chapter 1
The parapet looks even more lethal then he remembers.
Bodhi Durran stands at the edge of the courtyard. Back straight, jaw locked, looking every part like his older cousin. Staring at the parapet like it’s just another day, just another obstacle. Like his heart isn’t clawing it’s way up his throat while hundreds of 20 year old get ready to walk towards their death.
He has done this once before, stand back while he watches others walk it. Pretending not to care if they fell to their death. Pretending he was the one who didn’t flinch once the screams started. Acting like the lethal picture everyone expected him to be.
Yet this time is different. Last year he was one of them, walking the slippery stones into the rider’s quadrant. Praying he would make it to the other side, hopping that his friends made it through their first years. The ones slipping off of the stones being familiar faces. Names he learned while climbing the stairs.
Now he wears black. A marked one. Rebellion. Loyalty, Pain and Blood. A symbol and a weapon.
He tries to stand like Xaden does, glancing over his cousin -who looks everything the unapproachable rider that he is- shoulders squared, arms loose, expression unreadable. But it’s harder then it should be. Because every sound -the wind against the rock, the sound of distress on the other side, the scream of a rider learning a family member passes- pulls at a crack inside of him that never quite closed.
“Focus.” Xaden’s voice slices through his thoughts, quiet and hard. “You’re twitching.”
Bodhi stiffens.
“Yes, sir.”
Instantly realizing the mistake he made, the quick and quiet response to the order. He doesn’t look at his cousin, even though he feels his eyes locked onto him, watching his every move. Xaden looks at him like he wants to say more, something brutal or biting, but decides against it. Instead the shadow wielder turns back towards the roll of candidates in his hand, going over the names one more time before walking up to the parapet.
Bodhi exhales slowly and let the wind sting his face. The brutal cold grounding him, as pain always does.
But this is what he is good at. Standing still, pretending he is a solid wall of rock. Perfectly blending into Xaden’s shadow. As is expected of him.
//
Too many people are dying.
By the time the 5th one falls, Bodhi starts to count them. Not aloud, never aloud. Just in the back of his mind- one sharp tick, a tiny flinch- for every scream that ends to abruptly, for every cry of help that disappears into the depths underneath the parapet.
The wind has picked up since sunrise. Howling through the cliffs around Basgiath. The arch at the end of the parapet is wet. Maybe because of the rain that has been pouring down around them, making the stones even more lethal then normally, maybe by blood. It was hard to tell from the point where Bodhi was leaning up against a tree. Watching every single participate cross into the rider’s quadrant.
A girl slips halfway ‘cross. She doesn’t scream, doesn’t even call for help. But Bodhi sees her eyes grow wide as realization hits her, right before she falls down into oblivion. Disappearing from sight. Just another name on the roll tomorrow.
“Seven.” Bodhi murmurs under his breath.
“What’s that?” Garrick’s voice is easy as the older boy walks over, leaning up against the tree besides Bodhi. He offers him a smile that’s to casual for Bodhi’s liking. To easy for a day filled with death. “You say something?”
Bodhi shakes his head, looking back at the parapet as another person steps off and celebrates their little victory. “Nothing.”
“Cheer up.” Garrick says, nudging him lightly with his elbow. “They’re holding up better then last year. Only a few so far.”
Only.
Bodhi nods, not saying another word as he stands up a little straighter. He watches as another student steps onto the parapet- nervous but steady- and pretends like he doesn’t feel sick to the stomach. Çause it’s not okay, and certainly not better then last year.
The storm is picking up, already taking more lives then necessary.
Garrick doesn’t know, couldn’t know, of the way Bodhi’s heart has been pounding against the back of his ribs since dawn. That every time someone falls Bodhi doesn’t think Coward, he thinks that could have been me.
Still could, once he stops pretending he could be someone useful.
//
The last student steps off of the parapet.
There is a beat of stillness, a second where even the wind seems to be holding it’s breath. Like the entire quadrant seems to exhale as the last student makes it alive. It’s not long before the laughter, hushed whispers and silent celebrating comes rushing in again. The courtyard filled with first years, students who are still hopeful and buzzing with energy. Not knowing of the hell they just entered.
Bodhi straightens as Xaden steps off of the parapet, scroll of student names in hand. The scroll is sealed, damp from the onslaught of rain and streaked with the blood of a student desperate for help.
He hands it to leadership without ceremony, eyes scanning the courtyard before falling onto Bodhi. Right where he left him behind at the start of the day.
“Walk.” Xaden mutters as he passes, just loud enough for Bodhi to hear. Leaving no room for objection. Bodhi doesn’t blink, doesn’t even question his cousin. Just squares his shoulders, making sure his expression is emotionless, and follows him into a silent alcove.
Xaden’s shadows easily form a wall around them, hiding them from prying eyes.
“We got word from Montserrat.” He mutters, keeping his voice just low enough for Bodhi to hear.
Bodhi stiffens. “Something wrong?”
“Lewellen reached out- says someone up there is getting ready to trade names for clemency. Could be gossip, could be desperation. I don’t care, I want it checked out before information ends up in the wrong hands.”
Bodhi’s pulse kicks harder as he keeps his eyes locked onto Xaden. “You want names?”
“I want confirmation. Quietly. Look for anyone with roots up north who suddenly wants reassignment, pull whatever you need. Take Cuir and check it out, whatever you need to do.”
Upon the mention of his dragon, a displeased grumble echos through Bodhi’s mind. “Understood.” Bodhi mutters, voice tight as he locks out Cuir.
Xaden nods, giving his cousin a one over before continuing. “While you’re at it- keep an eye on Tovern. He has been sniffing around, asking the wrong questions. Making it more then clear he sees us as rot instead of blood.”
Bodhi’s jaw locks, heart starting to pound even harder against his ribs. “You want him silenced?” he asks, hoping his voice sounds steadier then he feels.
“I want him watched. Closely. If he is just curious, we make sure he gets distracted. If he is a problem, we make sure his voice doesn’t carry.”
Xaden glances past Bodhi, the shadows around them falling away as he looks over the courtyard.
“You hear anything, you come to me. No one else.”
“Copy.”
Xaden nods once- a grim, silent command- as his gaze falls back on Bodhi, eye narrowing slightly.
“And don’t even think about having Garrick cover for you, I don’t care how little sleep you’ve had. Keep your guard up.”
The words hit harder then they should have. Not because of the tone, but because of the absence of anything personal. It’s just orders now, ever since Bodhi joined the quadrant. Cousins or not.
Bodhi’s jaw clenches, hands clenched in fists besides him as he stares at the older boy. “Understood.”
Xaden pauses for half a second longer then necessary. Almost like he can see the pain and exhaustion in Bodhi’s eyes, but decides not to call it out. He sighs, eyes turning sympathetic as he watches his cousin, and Bodhi hates it.
“Loosen up.” Xaden mutters softly, eyes already locked on a point behind Bodhi once again. “You’re wound tighter then a crossbow.”
“I’m fine.”
“You look like you’re about to shatter.”
“I said I’m fine.”
Xaden sighs but doesn’t push, never pushes. Just gives orders and trusts Bodhi to follow them. He always does, that’s the problem. Being trusted and looked upon mens you can’t break, not where anyone can see at least.
Xaden gives him one more lookover before walking away. Going back to whatever leadership business he has to do before squads get called.
Bodhi stays rooted for a second longer, almost like he’s forgotten how to move. He exhales slowly, tries to square his shoulders. Tries to remember what pulling himself together is even supposed to feel like.
That’s when he hears it.
A laugh. Bright, full embodied, effortless. A laugh that sounds to warm. It echoes to cleanly across the courtyard, to easy. Cutting right through the static in his head, like sunlight cracking through rain clouds.
Bodhi turns without meaning to, instantly searching for that source of warmth. Across the courtyard, against the barracks, stand a cluster of first years huddled together. Their clothing damp, the slight tremor in their bodies indicating they are still shaking off the adrenaline of survival.
One of them says something to loud, eyes alight with mischievous. The others groan, but there is no real annoyance within the group.
Bodhi’s breath stutters as his eyes fall upon the boy. He is laughing like he doesn’t know what kind of place this is.
Head tilted back slightly, brown curls that glow underneath the sun plastered against his temple from the rain, eyes alight like he is glad to be alive. There is mud on his uniform, and a bruise forming on his collarbone, but he looks like a fire that has yet to be extinguished.
Radiant. That’s the word that comes to mind. Uninvited, unwanted, sharp against the turmoil of emotions.
Bodhi hates it. Hates how it lodges in his chest like a dull knife.
He shouldn’t be looking. Shouldn’t be noticing how the boy’s smile curves mid-laugh, or how his hands flick towards his newly made friends as he talks. Warm, present and open in a way Bodhi can’t remember ever being.
He turns away harshly. Ignoring the tangled feeling in his chest.
Cause this place eats joy. This place kills and brings pain everywhere you walk. Everyone knows that.
So how the hell is he still glowing in this absolute wreckage?
----
that was chapter 1! Let me know what you think, I have had this idea for ages and I'm so happy to finally write it all down.
