#body fluids

[stlix]

‼️SENSITIVE CONTENT‼️

Smile for the camera 📸

[grey-cyrus]

(Does anyone else find spit and bodily fluids so gross but so hot or is that just a me thing?)

———

CEO!Price

~🖤~

You had the biggest interview of your life today, this was much different than all the part-time jobs you had in the past.

This one could actually pay the bills.

Walking into this twenty-story building, you were applying to be John Price’s personal assistant. The ex-military man notorious for firing someone just because they didn’t tuck in their shirt, yeah, that John Price.

People were flooding the place, everywhere you looked, someone was doing what looked to be a life or death task. Fear etched into everyone’s faces, even the more composed one’s.

Finally after a long elevator ride you approached the CEO’s office, knocking carefully on the door only to hear a gruff British voice. “C’me in.” He sounded as if he’s smoked away his lungs since birth, probably coal black on the inside and out.

Straightening out your uniform one last time before opening the door with a smile, “Hello, sir. I’m here for th—“ “Shut the fuck up.” What?

Surprise was clearly written on your face, who wouldn’t be surprised if you were introducing yourself and someone told you to shut up?

“Sit.” So you did, graceful as a new born deer, almost falling into the seat. This was already going to shit.

“Can’t stand on your own legs, dove?” You wanted to deny that, say you were perfectly capable of standing, of sitting, and most importantly of doing this job. But you didn’t, he didn’t seem like a man who would tolerate back talk.

“Tell me one good reason why I shouldn’t kick you out on your ass?” Panic filled you, was this really your last chance? Already? “Um, sir, I—…The bills are piling up and I— I don’t have enough to pay for them and—“

“Enough.” His voice was like steel, sharp and cold to the touch. You had fucked up big time. “Get out before I personally escort you, and you don’t wanna make me waste my time on that, it wouldn’t be good for your pretty face.”

Scurrying out of there in a heartbeat you made it outside with only just a tremble in your hands, he really was as bad as they made him out to be.

How had HR not got him yet?

Back to the job search, it’s probably gonna be some shitty diner on the outskirts of town that no one goes to other than the occasional crackhead.

But to your surprise a week later, all the applications you sent in asking, begging, for a chance to work you got hired as a barista!

But all the fun of learning how to make caramel crunches and mocha what-not ended harshly when you saw him pull around to the drive through from the bar.

He ordered a fucking caramel brulée latte?

That sure as hell didn’t suit his personality, but who were you to judge? You were definitely to judge. He fired you for speaking to him. So what did you do?

You spit a big fucking glob in his coffee, right at the bottom so when he least expected it he would get a glob of straight spit and cheap coffee.

Handing the drink to the drive-thru worker you had a smug grin, revenge never felt so good. You could almost picture it, him right at the best part of the coffee getting his sweet sweet pay back.

The next day he was…back? Oh god, you were about to be in a hell of trouble.

He walked up to the cashier, a smirk on his face. “I want the usual, and tell my dove to add a bit extra of her special ingredient this time.”

What?

There was no way he came back and said that…

But when he just looked at you, all expectant, it wasn’t a cruel joke. He actually wanted you to purposely spit in drink…Sick bastard.

Making his drink as his eyes never left your face, you could’ve sworn you were rose pink at this point. But when it came time to actually spit in his drink, his eyes were even more intense, like he was desperate for this. Like he craved this. He craved you, any part he could get of you. Whether that be spit, your flustered stare, or something more delicate.

You took a deep breath before spitting two globs in his drink with him watching, everyone in the building was absolutely horrified and you were too. Handing him the drink as he took a big gulp in front of you, “I’ll be back for the same thing tomorrow, dove.”

And with that he left, to rinse and repeat the process again tomorrow.

But that huge 1.5 million dollar donation a little later in the day surely wasn’t from him, right?

Maybe he just wanted to make sure that tiny coffee shop never ran out of supplies for his little dove to spit in.

🥀All requests are greatly appreciated!🥀

[skelleste]

Absolutely wretched April Fool's commission that I had the pleasure of doing for @iguanodont.

[insufficiently-advanced]

so i'm on my period and i was driving home when i started to smell it, in that 'ah okay i don't feel wet but it's time for a new pad' way, and my mind went from that immediately to 'how would i comfort a preteen who's having this exact problem, because it would be mortifying to someone who isn't 38'

so do any of yall need a sad girlfriend bc apparently i need to have babies

[fantabulisticity]

Alright, update time!

I have early pneumonia. Which explains the mild to moderate difficulty breathing the last couple of days and faintness even when I don't have a fever (...and technically ALSO explains the fever but mehhhh). I'm getting treatment for it and should start to feel better in a few days.

I got to take a chest X-Ray, which was interesting! They put me in front of this big flat vertical plate (white plastic, but I'm assuming it has metal behind it bc I think the swingy arm w the light in it that she was moving around on the other side of the room is the imaging machinery?) with rectangular markings on it, with my hands holding onto bars behind it for the front/back picture, and then had me up next to it with my arms up on an overhead swingy bar for the side picture. She had me take a "deep breath" (which I can't TECHNICALLY do rn but I did the fullest I could without coughing) before she snapped the pics. I wish I could see the images! I'm so curious! I just know that I've got pneumonia in the left lobe (which is where the doctor heard it in the stethoscope as well). I'm gonna look in my patient app thing and see if I can find the pictures. EDIT: I don't think I can see the pictures :( I wish they sent me the pictures. I wanna see what my lungs look like. That shit is SO COOL.

The sad part is I had to take my nipple piercings out for the X-Ray (which I asked about beforehand) and when I got home I couldn't get the left barbell back in. I tried for half an hour. I took breaks. I used SO much saline spray. Nothin. And now my left nipple is Very Mad At Me on both sides. But I've been considering taking my piercings out for a while anyways -- they're kind of a nuisance. They get caught on stuff all the time and I've had to sleep with a bra on EVERY NIGHT since I got them, which I HATE, and they frequently get mad and I have to take care of them for days at a time even though I've had them for a while (2 years almost to the DAY!). My boobs look kinda alien to me without my piercings, but I think the freedom will be nice.

OH, LOL, and since I can't sleep bc I wake up coughing all night, my doctor gave me cough syrup w fuckin CODEINE in it 😂 It's only a 6-hour dose, so she says I shouldn't feel groggy when I wake up and it should wear off pretty quickly. But it should keep me asleep much better, which will DEFINITELY help me recover. The last few nights have been R O U G H . Last night was MUCH BETTER with Nyquil (only woke up 4 times total and only 2 for coughing, the other 2 to pee, and I was able to fall back asleep faster), but this stuff is supposed to really knock me out. So I should get a solid 6 hours of sleep for a few nights 😭🙏🥰

I might feel fatigued for several weeks after I start to get better. But at least I won't be stuck at home quarantining away from people and breathing shallowly and coughing deeply, feeling every little tendril of my bronchioles as they send fluid up my trachea to cough out. I can HEAR the mucus in my chest. Idk if I can hear the pneumonia in my little sacs or not, but I DEFINITELY can hear the mucus in my tubes.

Also got another tally for a medical person going "OHMYGOD YOUR TONSILS ARE *HUGE*! 😰" 😂 She literally WHIPPED away from me as SOON as she got a glimpse, just to exclaim about my tonsils, and then took another look 😂 I don't even know how many people that is now. It's a BUNCH. I apparently have VERY BIG TONSILS. Which I want to keep for sexual reasons, but multiple people have recommended me get surgically removed :( We'll see what happens with that. I LIKE my big tonsils.

[sadslimecreature]

still thinking about how butterflies will drink blood. 🦋

[sadslimecreaturearchive]

i said that you can call me, beep me if you want my skin. she rolled her eyes and then she said "i know your dying wish is to be baptized in my spit."

[dustbxnnyyy]

og vampire lore is so weird. like imagine just being a blob of blood and red eyes.