7, 13, 36, 37, and 40. :)
Yay! Thanks for sending me some!
7: Talk about your biggest insecurity.
My biggest insecurity is probably just my depression and anxiety. I often feel like I don't know how I'm going to cope/go on, and when it's really bad I always feel pretty pathetic for 'giving in' and acting the way it makes me act. It's a struggle! But I'm still here.
13: Talk about the first time you had sex/how you imagine your first time.
Hm. There were quite a few times before where I thought I was ready but asked to stop, and also where I planned it but then because vaginas are awful little monsters it couldn't happen. Of course I was very nervous but my first time was really sweet and it's a happy memory for me.
36: Talk about your guilty pleasures.
Guilty? Nope! I don't really have any guilty-pleasure media or foods (food guilt is something I've dealt with when I experienced classism in school and now I have a no-shame policy for what I or anyone else chooses to eat). However our bathroom cleaner smells very good. I just breathe deeply from a safe distance while I'm cleaning the bath.
37: Talk about someone you thought you were in love with.
I guess my secret boyfriend from age 10-12? Haha. Me, him and his brother formed a little band and repeatedly sang What Dreams Are Made Of from the Lizzie Maquire movie, he stole my long pink cardigan and pretended he was Willy Wonka, and he had a siamese fighting fish. He was a bit self-obsessed in school and I don't know him now, but his house, and he, smelled like dog fur and candles. Alas, he moved away and walking 10 minutes to see him was too much effort for me.
40: Talk about the end of something in your life.
When I'd completely neglected home studies after leaving school because of anxiety, I went into an exam knowing very little about what was in the paper. The exam was expensive and in school, even with 50% attendance I had been heading for straight As. There's a feeling of sort of, euphoric hysteria I've experienced only twice - then and when I cut my own hair with a pair of nail scissors in my bathroom.
That was the end of hurting myself over not getting amazing grades. That was the end of seeing privileged over-achievers as better than others. And that was the end of thinking if I could just be perfect, I'd be happy. It is a wonderful feeling, and very liberating, and I hope I experience it again. x
