Since I woke up to the agitated news of Hybe acquiring the majority of the stock of SM, I am feeling feisty today. I went in to my inbox, and oh, look what I found! Some jobless guest commenter bashing on my erejeankasa fic.
A literary analysis of a hateful anon comment
1) THE QUESTION. Clearly the anon knows how to write a gripping first sentence. To grasp my attention they begin with an inocuous question: "Aren't you tired of..." which I find sweet while reading, albeit a little sus, and then they turn it upside down with a great plottwist: "of writing bad and boring fics?"
- Now, I can see that maybe someone would find them boring, because they are LONG. Not this one, though, which is only 10 pages long, but okay alright that's very subjective. I'll give you 6/10 not powerful reason enough
- Bad: Aha I see what are you referring with bad? A little vague, right? I would just use an adjective with a little more precision. Maybe badly written? Maybe outrageous? Maybe dumb? 5/10 the choice of adjective doesn't convince me.
2) ANSWER + CONCLUSION: "Literally all your fics are boring" well maybe they are this is very subjective, non offense taken, yet there's a repetition with "boring", you've said that before. 2/10 repetition hinders potential
"I don't understand how people read them" - Fair concern raised on your part. I do not know either, but it seems that people love them quite a lot, so who knows. This conclusion of yours doesn't really work with the analysis of my work, though. You should've put a connector in there. The consecuential sentence seems flawed from consequence, although it's implicit:you find them boring, so you wonder why people doesn't act like you and keep reading my fics. I see. I would have continued speaking about your opinion but I guess you thought that by invoking a larger readership you were striking my nerve there. 6/10 the intention is good.
- IMPERATIVE: "You should stop writing, your writing sucks". It's nice to pair the initial question with the imperative to end, I'll give you that. That's what truly shows your intention, while the sentence in the middle you could totally delete it and it would make the comment shorter and much more powerful, but let's see:
- You should: should is not powerful enough for an imperative! Maybe you want to use MUST? Should is a suggestion, but you're not suggesting, aren't you? 1/10 bad choice of verbing
- Your writing sucks: -100000/10 i know for a fact it doesn't, since my most badly written sentence is far better than this comment you left, to begin with.
Now just TWO MINUTES LATER they leave another comment "the worst thing i've ever read, what the fuck *skeleton*". Okay well this phrasing is better and truly even though it's zero constructive criticism the opinion is well conveyed, the skeleton emoticon adds depth. Only the comment 7/10 love the formulation and the emoji.
BUT!!!!!! You've read 10 pages in 2 minutes? What are you, Flash?????? MATILDA?????? Aren't you a fucking genius??????? What are you doing reading my boring story with this brain of yours?????????
So, whole punctuation for the second comment: -3/10 very humbled you've read my story being the genius you are but you should be working on your honest plans to take over the world with your big brain and don't waste time on me 🤧
