I really hope it wasn't (just an experiment)
The first thougt that seared though Alec's head was: I'm unbearable cramped. Which, for someone as tall as him was quiet a lot, but he had never found himself entangled in a single seated armchair with another grown anthropoid. Elbows met stomachs met shoulder blades met faces. His legs were entangled painfully with Magnus's. Alec had to abruptly stifle a snort, it seemed like such a Magnus thing to only go through the necessary actions of bringing his drunk friend home, making it to a comfortable place was a secondary concern. A smile played on Alec's stubbled face. It was an unsure thing - like the sun behind a cluster of clouds. All at once he was aware just how close he and Magnus were; space only seemed to exist around them, not in between. Magnus's cheek rested against Alec's collar bone, eyelashes tickling his jaw, each lash the whisper of a song he had forgotten, a song he had missed. Not once, not once had laying with Calyx felt like this. Like, despite the inexorable ache in his neck, the soreness of his twisted limbs, the uncomfortable tingling of his arms - a tingling that usually signaled the prolonged strangulation of his arm - he was reborn a little. Dying a little. In this asphyxiating, second hand armchair, Alec was happy. Joyous, buoyant, exultant really.
Maybe it made him a dreadful human being, one with out remorse, or guilt, but the events of last night had lead to this. Him in Magnus's arms, or Magnus in his, at this point he couldn't tell. All that was clear was: together. Right now they were together. Alec could vaguely recall, the impending break - up, the molester, the fight, the rock hard muscles that sculpted Magnus's back. The always. Ensuing that particular turn of events, he was unsure. Alec's heart skittered. Always, Magnus had ensured always, promised always. Could he have meant ... Surely not. Always. Alec mouthed the word. Always. A prayer. A plea. Always. An ache named longing filled his lungs and pierced the air. Always.
-------------------------------------+--
Magnus had been awake for quiet a while now. Through slitted eyes he took in the man next to him. From this perspective, he had a tantalising view of Alec's moist, red lips. He stared as they parted and flexed, echoing a muted word. Magnus was hypnotised, therefore he did not realise the same lexis seemed to be in perpetual occurrence. It had to be mid afternoon, the light was a buttery gold pool, as it plunged from the left side of Alec's compact apartment window, bathing Alec in a golden glow. His pale skin effervescent. It lingered along the feet of the chair, weaving through the pile that could have been Alec, or Magnus. Magnus, or Alec. What Magnus wanted was to stay like this a little longer, but his spine held a valid argument. Mostly in the shape of excruciating cramps in his back. Well then. Groaning he lifted his head.
"Good afternoon, Alexander."
"Afternoon? Oh... well I suppose it is.", affirmed Alec taking in the sun, as if he had not noticed it's prsence, despite waking first. The rumbling cadence of his voice was a drug. Now that Magnus had heard it, he could not not hear it again. The need of it sprung and grabbed him by the throat. Making a mental note, to call early for the college schedule, which he would make sure to lose as soon as he returned home, Magnus pushed himself up. Ignoring the desert occupying his throat. The process was undignified and rather clumsy. A breed of which Magnus liked to avoid. Stiff joints and stiffer limb hauled themselves up, as the duo moved out of the chair. It involved several tries, exasperated laughter, sudden jerks and possibly Magnus sprawled on the floor at one point.
"Remind me never to do that again", brushing off imaginary lint from his jeans, Magnus willed his cheeks to cool.
"Only if you remind me never to overdose on alcohol. My cortex is functioning at below average and my optic nerves exceedingly above. Why is it so bright in here?"
Scoffing, Magnus ran a cavalier hand through hair, "First of all you don't overdose on alcohol, second, optic nerves? Cortex? Really?"
Alec, squinting his eyes, left hand a blockade for the sun, merely looked on unimpressed. The overall effect was ruined by his wince, but who was Magnus to judge. Rumpled, squinting, stubbled morning Alec was something he definitely liked. A lot.
"Let me freshen up, take a hot shower, I'll start up breakfast. You'll feel better, trust me, I know these thing.", he winked in exaggeration.
"You're not going to shower?"
"Of course I am, I'm going first, but I can join you, if you so desperately want.", Magnus replied, eyes twinkling with mischief.
"I'm in too much pain to think of a reply. Hurry." and with out preamble Magnus wove through the living room and slipped into Alec's room, the only one in Alec's one bedroom apartment. Alec wandered off to find aspirin and a glass of water.
-------------------------------------+--
Magnus emerged a few moments prior, he had donned Alec's flannelled baby blue pajama bottoms and a grey sweater. It was a few sizes too big, it tilted to one side revealing sharp collar bones and was bunched at his elbows unsuccessfully, as Magnus kept pulling it up while worrying a hole near the hem. There was something immensely satisfying about Magnus wearing his clothes.
"Don't you own anything casual with out holes. Homeless is not an aesthetic appeal you know.", frowning Magnus tugged the edge of the sweater in emphasis. His damp hair shook with the movement. Alec stared as a drop of water trembled at the tip of a stray lock, before landing on the bridge of Magnus's cheek. Continuing down until it met his chin and slide over the prominent bump of his Adam's apple, before trailer lower and lower and lower.
"Alec!", huffed Magnus, "Are you even listening?".
"Hmmm? Oh, yah sure. No holes.", Alec intoned distracted. Peeling his eyes away, Alec brushed past Magnus, ruffling his hair. He really needed a shower, a cold one. Magnus's accompanying growl followed him through the door.
-------------------------------------+--
It was with no small satisfaction Magnus made his way to the kitchen, a smug smirk curling his lips. He had seen the expression Alec had made when he stepped into the living room: eyes unfocused, lips unconsciously parted, breathing imperceptibly shallower. Humming a gaudy, jovial tune Magnus pulled out eggs, peppers and a knife. Now for plan: dazzle Alec with his cooking skills.
-------------------------------------+--
Forehead laning against the porcelain wall, teeth gritted, hands clenched into fists, Alec hissed in a sigh. No. No. He was not going to do this. It had only been Magnus wearing his clothes. His very old clothes. Damp, clinging old clothes. Clothes which pooled in just the right nooks, clung to just the right - Swearing Alec slammed the faucet higher, hotter. Groaning he concentrated on the scorching rivulets of water running along his spines, the stray drops dripping down his nose, along his chest, across his abdomen. Slowly, so slowly he watched mesmerised, as the drop curled along the v of his pelvise. Flash. It was tanned skin that the drop traced. Flash. Writhing hips. Flash. Burnt gold eyes, glazed. Flash. A soundless breath, that could've "more", or "stop", or "please". Grunting Alec snatched himself. Biting his right arm. Muffling his voice. Clenching his eyes. A non - sensible thought: The door isn't locked. Alec hurtled, rough and fast, off the edge.
-------------------------------------+--
Refusing to contemplate his actions, Alec mad his way towards the kitchen, following the delectable aroma, as it wound it's fingers through his senses. Alec could not remember the last time he had ate breakfast that wasn't cereal, or hastily toasted bread; it wasn't so much that Alec couldn't cook, more so that he never found the time to. Being an employee of Luke meant salary came in two forms: cash and calzone. Well, food other than calzone too, but that calzone was something else. And before Luke, Alec had lived off microwaved meals, it wasn't so much that he had been too lazy to learn, more so that he was too exhausted to. The days before he settled, before Luke, before he knew that asking for help wasn't charity, those days seemed to run together in a monotonous, fatigued grey. He couldn't tell them apart. Even now.
Walking through the threshold, Alec stood frozen. Of course he knew Magnus had to be cooking, in light of prior evidence, but he had not truly prepared himself for the full effect to hit him. He gaped, slightly dumbfounded. Slinking through the beams of sun, Magnus moved with the grace of a wild cat. All measured movements: casual flips, assured stirs, the muscles in his arms flexed with each gesture. The steps of a dance to the beat only he heard. Alec had known there something exquisite about Magnus, but he hadn't realised until now that while most people seemed to dress according to the weather, the weather seemed to dress according to Magnus. He wore the rays of the sun like an iridescent scarf, sheer on his skin, the glitter of the rain drops on glass like jewels in his eyes, the cerulean blue sky, a perfect offset to his smile: somehow soft and blinding at the same time. This man, this gorgeous man was making Alec breakfast. The surreality of the situation hit Alec with a fist to his lungs, he forgot how to breath. They had had sex, seen each other in throes of passion, but this felt like something fragile: shimmering and light.
"Hey", Alec said, it came out as a whisper, the word containing how he felt. What he wouldn't say.
At his voice Magnus turned, slowly:
At his voice Magnus turned, slowly: " Morning Alexander.", he too whispered, as if he heard, or knew, or felt the thread that was them change to something more. Silently, he scooped to omletes and placed them on the worn table, nicked with use. It was a round, homey thing, able to seat four people. Taking out a two chairs, he occupied one, not touching the food. Alec made his way to the table, feet shushing on the wooden floor. He too left his pate untouched.
"I... I... ", clearing his throat, Alec tried again, "This looks good.", he finished feebly motioning to the plates. Magnus caught his hand mid - air and for a moment they stilled, hands poised. The entrance to a dance, a duet. Gently, so gently Magnus lowered the pair: one pale,one bronze. He did not removing his hand. Alec's heart stopped, started again. Stopped and started again.
-------------------------------------+--
Magnus sat, loose and tense. He did not know how these statements were both true, but they were. Alec gazed at their conjoined hands with an expression akin to wonder, as if he couldn't believe how this came to be, however was pleased with the results any way. Magnus's heart was a jittery thing, it floundered inside him, forgetting the rhythm it was meant to keep. Here was Alec, across him. He was here. Alec with his carelessly wind tousled, ebony hair, warm hazel eyes. Eyes that were flecked with emerald and onyx, long lashes: thick and black brushed his sharp cheekbones, as he looked at their intertwined palms and looked and looked and looked.
Looking at his broad shoulders and sturdy hands Magnus was hit with a deep wanting. A needing. He needed this, he didn't know how he was going to function, to move on, if he he didn't have it. Magnus had no idea how he could have it. The thought was sudden, crippling. He couldn't do it, couldn't reach out, string his pulse in the shape of his want, only to have it slashed, brushed aside. He was afraid, afraid like he hadn't been before. Only now did he realise that his emotions were not what they were a week ago, a month ago, a moment ago. He didn't simply like Alec. He burned with it, this nameless emotion, it consumed him, it did not care that running rampant would incinerate Magnus, as well as Alec. It wanted, it wanted, it wanted; so achingly, so desperately.
Alec shifted, holding Magnus's gaze. Carefully, so carefully, he lifted Magnus's hand. Stilling Magnus held his breath, himself. Softly, so softly Alec placed his lips on Magnus's knuckle, warm and searing. Lngering. Magnus's heart stuttered, tumbled: falling, falling, falling, until it sprouted feathers, wings of the purest white, like unblemished snow. It soared: hammering against his ribcage, as Alec brushed his lips over Magnus's skin again and again. Barely a touch, an echo of a kiss, a promise. His eyes were raw and wild and bright.
"I broke up with Calyx.", the admonishon was a question and an answer. The minutes spooled by in the wake of his confession.
Voice hoarse, his breath hitched. Tickling Magnus's skin: "It was a mistake, I didn't understand how I could be with him and feel mundane, feel aloof. I thought - I thought, it was just your personality. Just how everyone who's been with you feels. A disposition of you. And it was. It was you, but it was me too. It was us. My heart sped up when I held his hand, it sped up when we lay together. Sped up when we - we did things. It never once raced though. It didn't gallop at the rumble of his voice, or crumble at the curl of his smile, or shatter at the glimpse of his laugh, or sing at just the mention of his name. It sings Magnus, my heart sings when we're together and I can't let that go. I want to know how many tunes it knows, how many tunes it'll remember. I want to know how many tunes it'll create. If you let me, I would like to know, very much."
Magnus didn't realise he was crying until a drop slashed in the hollow of his neck. How was it, that he had travelled to another country, lived his dream in the gleaming oak hallways, strode out with achievements most his age would never even come across, yet sitting here, in this moment, he truly felt as if he had won something, become something?
"Yes.", he whispered, but a breath of air.
" Yes Alexander, I would like that. I would like that very much.".
Alec's answering smile was a wonder on it's own, tinged with relief, as if Magnus would ever answer any other way. His eyes crinkled and shone, face lined with joy. Clutching his hands tighter, Magnus stood until he reached the other side, as Alec twisted to watch. Tenderly, he tilted Alec's face up, brushing the wayward strands: once, twice. Magnus's fingers grazing Alec's temple, his ear, his jaw, his cheeks his nose, his lips, a cool breeze on the warmth of Alec. Looking straight into Alec's eyes, "Yes.", he whispered, "Yes.", tracing the path his fingers had made with his lips. Magnus left soft, loving brushes, like Alec was a painting he had once painted, a song he had once sung. A dance he had once memorised. All the steps led to this. Magnus pulled away, "I love you.".
Just this, these words that had been buried in every action, every decision he had made until then. A truth he had glimpsed, but not understood until now.
Silver lining his eyes, "I do too. Love you, I mean.", Alec said. The words washed over him, enveloping him in a second skin. Tilting his head up, Alec captured Magnus's lips, the kiss achingly sweet. He kissed Magnus, as if Magnus's lips were a flower and he was watering them, persistently, gently, drawing out each touch of their lips as if he could contain them in this moment, in this infinity. He kissed Magnus like he had been asking a question for a very long time and it was on Magnus's lips he found the answer. So Magnus too brushed and probed and licked, because he too had found the answer.
I hope you enjoyed that. I certainly did, after all the angst and the sadness, I had to give give them a fluffy scene. I just stuffed it all in there: wearing your boyfriend's clothes, making him breakfast, jerking off. The whole lot
Plus I always read how they wake up in bed after getting hammered, so this time I wanted to do something different and I know Magnus would have probably wanted the comfort, but he was tired okay, just let the dude be.
Anyways, like, reblog, leave comments and critiques. I love to hear from you guys. ;) <3<3
