bottom derek is so important for like 50 reasons but largely because derek letting himself be vulnerable?? trusting someone for the first time in years?? handing himself and his body over to someone, the body that's been abused and hurt so many times, used as a weapon, as bait. not to mention his heart.
when he allows stiles to top him, he lets him, lays down on the mattress and lets stiles take care of him, and it's so scary, especially the first time (because there's many, many more times after the first one and they just keep getting better). but stiles holds his hand sometimes throughout it, and kisses him like he can't believe he's allowed to do this, take care of his mate like this.
the way derek looks at stiles is like he hung the moon, like he's hardly even real, like just the fact that someone wants to take care of him, be with him like this, is unheard of for derek.
he's vulnerable like this, and derek has always been the strong one, always had to be. stiles is used to being vulnerable, the pale, skinny human, and when he bottoms, it's everything he'd ever let himself dream of, and more, but he at least feels like he deserves it. (most of the time.)
but derek has never dreamed of this. it's never been something he thought he could have, or even wanted until now. until stiles proved so much that he wanted it, too.
so being vulnerable is new for derek, especially when he chooses the vulnerability himself rather than it being forced upon him. and it feels good to let go for once. to not have to worry about anything other than how relaxed and wonderful he feels as he lets himself sink heavier and heavier into the bed.
the trust that goes into this is not lost on stiles, who gazes down at him with heart eyes as he makes derek feel good and shows him how much he loves him. giving him everything he deserves. their eyes meet and saltwater swims in them, linking their connection even deeper than before. their lips touch and derek finally knows what love feels like in its truest, most unconditional form.
if stiles never came tonight, and spent their time together making only derek feel as amazing as possible, over and over, it would be enough for stiles, it would be everything, and he'd do it easily, just for derek.
for a wolf so brave, his courage continues as he lays himself bare for his mate, letting himself be doted upon, letting himself feel the pleasure that is so rare for him. letting himself deserve it as much as stiles believes that he does. letting himself be taken apart and put back together again, pain intermingling with bliss, because he trusts that stiles will make it all okay in the end, that their hands and eyes and lips and bodies will link, and maybe their very souls, too.
derek trusts stiles. and that is everything.
