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JULY 31 EPISODE: Jasmine Proves To Everyone She A Stupid Smart Girl, TK And Sarah Should Just Bone Already

Obvs, Kylie sexes up Vinnie without having broken up with Evan, or having told him that either. Evan finds out, sadly that spoils his cheesy bake thing he was making for her. Because he storms out like an adult, the cheese thing burns in the oven. Kylie must have really been looking forward to it, because when she realizes it’s ruined she gets overly upset – more than she ever did about Evan (ha).

I assume that this is an attempt to show how detached she is from her feelings about Evan and is subconsciously transferring these feelings to the metaphorical ruins of his dinner, but I think it is more than she was hungry after all the elevator sex. God Shorty writers, you are so subtle. Teach me.

Additionally, I was disappointed they didn't include another oven POV shot like last week.

Jasmine doesn’t make her way home til AFTER 5. Shit. Predictably, Muzza and Wendz have a heart attack. What I don’t really understand is that Jasmine doesn’t just walk back into the restaurant and ring someone to get her. Or find a payphone. She is later found by Murray (after Wendy hysterically rings the hospitals) “huddling under a tree by the dairy”.

Like srsly? You make it the majority of the way back from South Ferndale (or “the hood”), but you stop to just wait at the dairy when you’re that close back to your house? Navigate that distance from an unknown area, but not one you probably walk at least a few times a week? Again, why not call from the dairy or ask a kindly stranger? If it’s such a big deal that a 16 year old is having to walk home, I’m sure people would be understanding of it at some point. But I forget that we’re in Shorty, where there is no logic and drama is around every corner, and even “brain boxes” like Jasmine are idiots. She can’t even eat cereal right… anyone notice she just tapped the bowl with her spoon? Ho can’t even pretend to eat realistically.

Sarah can’t wait but to go on and on about how uncomfortable it is that she is living with her ex-husband and how Roimata must feel awkward too. She decides the best way to approach it is to tell her in the most awkward way possible. Boyd appears to really enjoy the moment, because he

makes the shittiest attempt to be invisible in the conversation.

Hilariously, Ula decides to confront Kylie about “leading him on this whole time, you’re disgusting”. Pretty sure you lead him on the whole time you were pregnant and got him to drop out of school and wash undies to support you and your baby that wasn’t even his. Emma also takes it personally, and suddenly the whole issue turns more into Emma and Kylie aren’t friends anymore. Should probably make more of an effort now that you’re locked into a mortgage together.