Maybe like a fic where you and Julien like agreed to keep it casual but like both of you want it to mean more
jj chats: hi love!!! this one took me a while and i apoligize!! i just couldn't think of a good way to write it but i think i figured it out!!
warnings: RPF, use of y/n, reader is a musician/famous, kissing, pet names
feedback is encouraged and i'd love to get some just please be kind!!!
You’re sitting around Lucy’s round dinner table, plates dirty but yet to be cleaned up. The table is filled with friends, clockwise it goes: Lucy, Naomi, you, Katie, Jo, Phoebe, and Julien. Across you was Julien, who was sipping on her lemonade. Your eyes couldn’t help but linger on her, even when she wasn’t speaking. You knew it was wrong, she wasn’t yours, you weren’t hers. But your heart was confused, and you always did want what you couldn’t have.
The conversation around you was lively, you could distinctly hear Phoebe’s howls over a joke Katie told. But you honestly couldn’t be bothered to listen. Your mind replays a moment you and Julien shared earlier in the day.
It had been early, the clock read 6:00 A.M. as you turned to the left side of the bed. Face to face with the woman who kept your heart pumping. You smiled at her as she lifted a hand to your face. You felt sparks fly as her gentle fingers brushed over your cheek. “Good morning darling,” she spoke, hand moving across your waist, pulling your body into hers.
“‘Morning Jules,” you yawned. “How’d you sleep?”
She smiled lazily, rubbing circles onto your hips “Good, especially since you were here.”
Her comment struck you wrong, reminded you that this was all a charade, that it meant nothing to her (or so you thought) “Don’t.”
Julien furrowed her brow, “Don’t what?”
You started to pull from her “Jules c’mon! Don’t say stuff like that!”
“What do you mean?”
You sighed frustratedly, “Like couplely stuff!” You threw your hands in the air, then fell back down to the bed with a slap, “We’re not together, you make that abundantly clear when we’re with our friends!” Julien’s face dropped at that, your words hurt for a reason you didn’t know yet.
“(Y/N) wait!” Julien went to grab your arms as you slid out of bed.
“Julien, please don’t. Just let me leave. It's nice until morning right?” You sigh, tired of this constant pain of never being feeling like you were enough.
You began to get up to collect your things and leave while Julien did nothing to stop you. You walked to where your jacket sat on the back of a chair, and pulled on your Converse. You located your phone and key. You were ready to walk out the door until you heard your name.
You turned around to spot Julien making her way to you. “Wait, just a minute, please?” Her eyes pleading. You gave in, just standing in her presence waiting for her to do something- do anything. You had spent months waiting for her to do something, something to convince you that these feelings you held for her were okay, that maybe they could be reciprocated.
Julien simply stood, staring into your eyes, as if taking in every engravement in your irises, surely she had to have seen the way your pupils dilated around her? How your cheeks flushed at the mention of her name. She leaned in, hand on your cheek and pulled you in for a kiss. It left you breathless and when you pulled away you immediately left.
Your mind was warped with questions.
Your mind was full of questions, memories of Julien’s hands on you, the way her lips felt-
You finally came back to reality after you felt Phoebe kicking your leg under the table. “Earth to (Y/N)?”
You shook your head, turning to face the platinum blond “Hmm?”
“Thought we lost you there for a few minutes,” Phoebe playful punched your shoulder. As you glanced around the table you realized everyone was staring at you. Your cheeks flushed as you grabbed your drink, sticking the straw in your mouth and chewing slightly. You noticed Julien staring at you, her eyebrow turned upwards.
“What were you thinking about babe?” Katie asked, smiling at you.
You started to reply, “Nothing-”
Until you were cut off by Phoebe again, “OMG!!! Or who were you thinking about!”
With that, your eyes widened and you furiously shook your head, “Nobody! I was just zoning out!”
Lucy chimed in, “Honey, we all see the way you’ve been glowing recently!! Did you find someone?”
Jo interjected, “You have to tell us who's the lucky lady!”
“There’s no lucky lady! I just zoned out!” You looked across the table, unimpressed looks were on everyone’s faces, except Julien's. She stared at you again, like she had in the morning. Only this time it seemed like she wasn’t trying to read it, more like she was understanding you. You could tell when her brows unfurrowed and she tilted her head at you.
“Whatever you say,” Phoebe sighed. Then leaning towards you she whispered “I will find this person.” then she plastered the sweetest smile on her face.
You jokingly rolled your eyes at her before saying “Whatever you say Pheebs!” Once the normal conversation started up again you stood up, grabbed your plate, and walked around the table into the kitchen. You stood at the sink, rinsing the plates off with hot water.
You heard footsteps approach you from behind and say a plate placed on the counter next to the sink. You recognized the hand immediately and in an instant, you turned around, face to face with Julien. It seemed today that her thing was to stare at you in silence because for a minute no words were exchanged between the two of you.
Finally, after minutes of hesitation, you spoke, “Julien-”
“(Y/N)-” Julien had had the same idea as you. She motioned for you to continue speaking so speak is what you did.
“Julien, I don’t think I can keep doing this with you.”
The tattooed woman had not expected that from you, her face contorted into a look that you could only describe as horror as she frantically asked “What? Why? What-what do you mean?”
You sighed, “I can’t keep sneaking around with you, I can’t keep pretending that I don’t-” You trailed off, nervous to tell her how you truly felt.
“‘-That you don’t?” Julien asked, wanting to hear your full truth.
Finally, you mustered up the courage to just say it. “That I don’t have feelings for you. Because I do.”
Julien continued to look at you, the gears in her head racing a mile a minute.
You began to step away, ready to leave her standing in the kitchen when she grabbed your arm, pulled you close to her, and simply smiled before saying. “I feel the exact same way.”
“You do?”
“Mhm, I don’t want to keep it casual with you anymore. I want you, fully.” As Julien looked into your eyes now it almost seemed that her words conveyed that. Like she did see you fully see you truly.
And suddenly it was like you two were the only two in the whole world as you started to lean in towards her. The act was like muscle memory, your head tilted left, hers right. It was engraved into your brain. The only difference was that this time you were not blocked off by my tinted car windows, or a hotel door. The only thing that separated you from the outside world was a wall with a fairly large door cut out in it.
As your lips connected it felt different this time, the experience no longer felt foreign, it felt like home. Her lips were warm and velvety, and even though you had tasted them a thousand times, this kiss was different in a million ways. It was filled with vigor, passion, and a newfound sense of hope- like this was something that would stick, not something that would simply fade away.
Until you remembered the world was just a few steps away when a large gasp brought you to your senses. Julien and you turned around, face to face with Phoebe and Jo, who held huge grins on their faces.
As yours and Julien’s cheeks flushed Phoebe giggled and joked “Told you I’d find out who you were thinking of (Y/N)!” She and Jo ran back into the dining room, no doubt telling the whole room what they had just seen.
You turned to Julien and signed, “You think we can make a run for it?”
Julien's hands rubbed up and down your arms, soothing you. She leaned in for a quick peck and replied, “Not a chance.”
