#brain chemistry problems

[glamxiety]

Same, Shane, same. 

[hexenmond]

loud brain

My brain is so loud today. Not in a bad way, just insistent. I'm being flooded with ideas and the energy to do them all. And while this is a very good-feeling place to be in… it's happened often enough that I KNOW the crash that'll come after.

Lightning energy is not sustainable. Lightning energy, no matter how much I feel I will never run out, is. not. sustainable! I need to tattoo this onto the back of my hands or something.

How do I pace myself? I had this level of energy and inspiration for fully four months last year. Wrote 90k of fanfiction in a near daily frenzy, loving every second. And then I crashed so hard it resulted in barely being able to function for another four months, and a busted bank account and 4000 € in debt. So I am actually grown up enough to know this now, to see this, and say no, I do not want that again.

But how the FUCK do I pace myself? If I try to stretch the frenzied working, take breaks, not do everything I feel called and thrilled to do at once and as fast as I possibly can – will I forget things? Will I lose momentum? If I write down the ideas for later will I still be able to also flesh them out?

Can I be different? Can I actually regulate my own brain chemistry, mold it to a better pattern? I am tired and I am starting to cry.

I am tired and my brain is so loud. I want to write. It's enticing me, calling me like a siren to do all these wonderful things.

I know no other way to be. How do I pace myself?