Discover Top Posts Tagged with #brain loop

#anxiety #high functioning #high functioning anxiety #health anxiety #health #mental health #worst scenario #worst case scenario #what's the worst that could happen #catastrophising #capable #believing in yourself #believe in yourself #people please #people pleaser #recovering people pleaser #obsess #wonky brain #stuck brain #brain loop #thought loop #overanalyzing #mistake #guilt #beating myself up #self criticism

Can't sleep. After an actually pretty nice day, my brain decided to throw me in another loop of "what am I doing with my life" and "what do I actually want in medicine". Fun.

I read in a book about autism that people with high functioning autism often define themselves through what they do. They are because they do. And honestly it makes so much sense for me. And why I struggle so much with what I want to do exactly in medicine. Why I keep being thrown in that loop. And why it seems impossible for me to just wait and see. Because it's not just about choosing a job or a career path within medicine. It's about who I am and who I want to be. At least for me. And this makes it so difficult for me to choose. Because I have no fucking clue about who I wanna be and what I want in medicine.

I've been so busy finding myself, surviving trauma and putting back together the pieces in order to just be able to live. I had no room for thoughts about that. Honest serious thoughts. A lot of the reasons for which I originally went into medicine for are not there anymore. I was quite literally a whole different person, barely a person even. And honestly I'm not even sure whether or not I even want to be a doctor anymore. This is scary as fuck. I've spent years working to get into medschool. I spent years in it in order to graduate.

I need sleep.

#personal #can't sleep #brain loop #transitioning during medschool brought out quite some different problems #I feel like I need a long vacation away from medicine for a while #also a better therapy #I don't have the feeling like it's actually giving me a benefit anymore #I feel a bit lost at the moment #and fucking tired #tw: depression #tw: anxieties #med stuff

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Join us next time for a hyper focused rant about Weeping Angels in general and the practical or impractical solutions to washing hands while in full Weeping Angel cosplay in particular.

#can’t sleep #brain loop #baby shark #doctor who #weeping angels #seriously is body paint or full arm and shoulder gloves a better option for the cosplay thing #like if I find a body paint that doesn’t wash off with soap how do I get it off when I’m done cosplaying