#brain puke

[damage-ko]

What if I taught myself to tablet weave? I've never woven before but I bet I could just... Do it. Will report back.

[mobylace]

What really kills me is any time a glimpse of the “before” Percy slips through. And we see what he was, and what he could be again, with time.

“Did I even want revenge before I talked to you?”

“I think I was going to be a clockmaker once.”

“I am so tired of hurting people.”

“It’s nice having an older brother again.”

[doktordismemberment]

Brain Puke: Puke til Your Ribs Crack.

I hate the internet.

I'm sick of writing to fill time.

I would go "do something else" except everything adults do out in the outside world involves either drinking or spending a bunch of money.

And I mean, do I drink in moderation, do I go places, and I spend money but there's only so much one can drink or spend before those things become a problem.

So I sink time into hobbies... I read comics, I read books, I watch movies, I draw, I play a bunch of musical instruments, I write songs with my wife, we put out albums.

And I get that I'm luckier than most cos I'm at least married to a chick who "gets it." I'm just sick of not having friends and knowing I'm not gonna make any new friends because I'm middle aged and everyone my age is either boring and lame or a total drug addicted fucking train-wreck.

And I dunno... Everything involving other people feels empty lately... You do for them and they're around. You need something and they're a fucking ghost.

Reminds me of that old Suicidal Tendencies lyric:

"I leech off you when things are good I'm there to kick you when you're down But when you need me I'm not there You're such a bummer when you're down"

And you're told it's wrong to expect things from people but is it really? Is it wrong to want things to be at least a little transactional where you do shit for me 'cos I do shit for you and not just I do for you and get nothing out of it?

Maybe just a little fucking reciprocation not just my kindness echoing off into the void of someone else's self obsession.

At this point if I get hit up at all it's usually this thinly veiled: "Hey I haven't seen you in a long time, it would be cool to catch up, and oh yeah I'm moving do you think you could help me move a few boxes."

You don't wanna see me you just fucking need something.

Depression is killing me. And the only thing I can point to that's different between now and when I was younger and a lot more hopeful is this awful feeling that there's nothing to look forward to.

Like, the environment is fucked, getting worse every day, and eventually it's gonna get so bad that the average moron can't ignore it anymore and things are gonna go bug-fuck.

The stupid selfish people in this country are gonna shove us into failed state territory then cry the loudest when it turns out it was a bad idea.

And all we can look forward to is more heat, more panic, more tyranny, more violence.

It doesn't really snow anymore, soon it won't rain.

I feel like I'm in the passenger seat of a car that's about to crash and I see it coming but the driver is blissfully unaware.

Brace for impact.

This is gonna hurt.

Bright lights

Pain.

Nothing.

[synchodai]

Venti is my comfort character. It's not like other favorite characters where you want to date them or want to be them. You're just happy someone came up with this character and brought them into existence.

[yee-fxcking-haw]

Does anybody else find it incredibly intimate when you're allowed into somebody's home for the first time? Being allowed to witness the space where somebody exists day to day always feels so personal. That's where they talk to themselves, or pick their nose, or sing a song they made up while pretending to star in a musical.

You can see the cup of tea they never finished, or the blanket they never folded, maybe the apple core they forgot to throw out. It just feels intimate.

Specifically the first time, when they're all, "Oh I'm sorry about all these papers, I meant to put them away before you came over."

Why apologize for that? For leaving something out that's allowed to exist in a home? Please don't apologise, don't feel sorry for the poptart wrappers, or the trash that needs to go out, or the fifty pairs of shoes at your front door.

Let me see how you exist, and don't apologise for doing so.

It's kind of cool, I kind of enjoy it a lot.

[redscullyrevival]

Animation, as all mediums, can be whatever creatives craft it to be. Animation’s form, exclusively how it is visually designed and presented through movement, line work, and coloring, defines and leads content. Looney Tunes isn’t expressing that going out and dropping an anvil on someone would be okay because it’s funny; Looney Tunes is dropping anvils on characters within individualized contexts to be funny. We all pretty much inherently know and understand that. 

In the world of Looney Tunes consequence is never permanent (and thus is where much of the humor is derived) and we know that because we are shown it. 

The squash and stretch animation; the shifting line work dependent on tone set scene by scene; background work reminiscent of reality but detached usually by being empty of anything other than direct characters; and “unnatural” color choices ensuing within jokes (anvil falls and things flash red, yellow, blue, green, you get it - you’ve seen Looney Tunes); the intentful design and presentation of Looney Tunes, the form, overwhelmingly expresses the content. 

Watching Looney Tunes explains how you are to understand it. That is generally how the medium of animation works.   

When we get to more thoughtful titles like She-ra or Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts then transactional reader-response and implicature is going to be what it is (and that exists between a viewer and Looney Tunes too though, to be fair!) but with aesthetic stylistics accounting for much of animation’s content then there are general levels of how the audience is being guided to understand a story’s content as well.

Based on how She-ra and Kipo are designed, how they depict violence, how they present the “reality” of their character’s worlds via color and staging - I do not think the intended audience (kids) are so much meant to be correlating Hordak Prime and Scarlemagne to Hitler or Stalin or whathaveyou so much as they are to generally stifling, overbearing, narcissistic adults. I don't believe the form dictating these stories intentionally crafted for children are meant to be positioned to be understood by those children with direct political ideology. For She-ra, the focus of all the harm and hurt characters in power (or not!) enact is still largely framed narratively and visually as interpersonal and thus the efforts of conflict resolution are also presented as such.  

My theory on why adults tend to get hung up on animated kid shows is because they're often times working at suspending disbelief they haven’t actually been asked to suspend.

My only real concern with any big vocal adult fannish push back on which characters “deserve redemption” or not when it comes to art like She-ra is that I believe the connectivity the intended audience (ya know, kids) may have towards a character finding their self loathing and abandonment issues can be overcome is the REAL goal - and not a realistically defined expectation on weighing war crimes, or something. For older voices to rise up going, "Oh no, no no, Catra shouldn't have been redeemed, that's unrealistic and dangerous to present to children. She didn't pay for her crimes enough to be loved." LIKE I DUNNO - it kinda freaks me out y’all!!! Making art to be felt and understood by kids shouldn't be dependent on realistically portraying the damage and choices of adults but rather the power and agency of children. At least that’s what I think. 

Over concern for the “reality” (sigh) of what these shows are imparting as lessons to kids is just gonna come with the territory and frankly adults should be aware of what children’s media is peddling - but it really feels like there are also vast misconceptions on the part of adult viewers who are too focused on story words like “war”, “battle”, and “warrior” without taking in and weighing how a show depicts those words/concepts visually and so they go on to misunderstand the level of intent those things are to be understood.

If She-ra swung her sword and chopped someone’s arm off and blood came out then yeah, instantly and without hesitation, Catra’s redemption would then be totally hollow and tonally weird once we got to it. That change in form changes the content; a severed bloody stump instantaneously alters the emotional reality of the show and thus the bearing and weight the audience is being asked to place on events and those event’s meaning when understanding and interpreting themes. BUT! What was designed to happen in She-ra as it exists is a magic sword swooshes rainbow light at unnamed baddies who fall over in a forest of purple trees that is never really explained in position to other known locations. The named baddies return again next episode even when they also get hit with the rainbow light, or things explode, or get shut down. Maybe there is a reason for that.

[justanotherterrifiedbeing]

I wanna put on super poppin makeup and take artistic photos and take pictures of water and sunsets and flowers and random strangers from secrete photographer angles and play with lighting and record video games, and have livestreams and stay up all night and talk to people who understand you even if they're 5000 miles away and I wanna lay down in the grass at night and look at the stars again and sing my heart out even if I sound like a dying walrus in the car with someone who would drive 12 hours just to see me for two... I want to be close to people who felt like my people and I want to walk for hours at night with no real destination, I wanna pick flowers in a field and play guitar even if there's no one around to hear me. I wanna make art again and I wanna write stories that get into your mind and heart, I want to be able to create again from soul. I want to feel alive again. I want to sit on the edge of water at sunset and write and pour my heart out with no need to go home any time soon. I want to be me again. Where have I gone????

[audhdummy]

sooooooo last night the singer of my favorite band talked the venue staff into letting us use the bathroom and the staff guy made him 'escort' us back out ??? 😂😂 last night was so surreal in a funny way and really great and i can't believe any of it even happened and they played this one song i asked him to play and we both fangirled over another band together and it was great