#brainbadblogging

[corvidobligation]

“i want to crossdress but as a trans guy still early in his transition i know i’ll get misgendered so i’m just gonna sit and suffer in clothes mildly uncomfortable to me” is such a shitty and convoluted series of thoughts and yet here we are 

[wetwareproblem]

Me: This person is Super Important and I think I’m in love with them. How do I let them know how much they mean to me? Me: I know! How about I have an anxiety attack at them and break down crying? That’ll do it.

[corvinuscorvus]

ah yes, my old friend, the feeling i should destroy all traces of myself online and re-establish myself afresh elsewhere as a different person altogether

it’s exactly on time, maybe a month or so early, but like clockwork--

[corvinuscorvus]

so how do u phrase “i’m okay, existentially exhausted by what has been an impossible year and feeling very broken down, there’s not much fight left in me any more even though i know it just gets tougher from here, and i’m despairing in knowing the odds are stacked against me. i ate a delicious pizza today though” to a concerned family member without concerning them more

[arboreals]

me, trying to talk myself out of speaking to my gp: i’m just not sure if this low mood and constant fatigue is garden variety depresh or the brainweasels belatedly processing leaving a comm i felt kinda close to or just lack of sleep or

me, noticing the date: nvm

[corvinuscorvus]

my brain is being really shitty right now and I hate it 

[arboreals]

me: abandons family lunch ten minutes in because the skull gremlin decided we weren’t even going to pretend to be A Person today and it was easier to blurt out sorryihavetopicksomethingupfromthelibrarygtgbye than explain i can’t actually read the menu, sorry, and hello imminent stress meltdown i hadn’t seen you in a while

also me, upon walking in the front door, having spent two hours huddled in a corner of campus with coffee and the rogue one audiobook: .......time to get into a fight with my glue gun

[arboreals]

puts off sending email for weeks

puts off reading response for days

@ self can u. just.