#break up.

[cowboyjen68]

hey jen, i’m having a rough time right now. i’m 28 and gay and my first real relationship just ended. i’m feeling hopeless and like no one is going to ever want what i have to offer. i think i have a big heart and so much to give but i’m afraid i’ll never have anyone to give it to. i don’t know if i’m asking for advice or just a place to say this. i’m just so sad and lonely right now.

Hi. I’m more sorry about you hurting than the fact that you broke up. I know from experience that it’s way better to be single than with someone you don’t share mutual attraction/affection.

The hurting and pain does get better and no matter how great the relationship was we tend to find things about our lives improved by being without them. More energy for a hobby or more time to pursue an interest. More ability to putting effort into finding and propagating new friendships and strengthening old ones.

The advice I wish I’d listened to at 29 when I broke up with my first girlfriend is “don’t panic. Don’t rush either the healing or the next relationship.

Thinking she was your only chance at love or believing that your first love failed because you’re not lovable is a very common lesbian thought process. It causes us to jump from one long term to another without adequate time to focus on ourselves. And often with whom ever the very next women we meet and go on a date with.

You’ll be fine. You’ll have other love. Probably a few. A relationship that didn’t last does not equal failure or mean you are flawed or broken. It just means the relationship didn’t work. Take your time. You deserve to wait. Date around after you’ve taken time to grieve, be sad, be angry. Don’t ignore those feelings. Let them exist.

You are worth finding the woman who ignites your passion and is mutually attracted to you.

[bitchyouknow]

I look at pictures of you in my phone, of your smile and your messy hair. I look at pictures of us and how happy we were. Pictures of us were many before I left for summer. Only two occasions came after. Homecoming and christmas. I wonder if that’s when everything shifted. That summer apart, it broke us before we knew how it felt to be broken. A fracture in a whole.

[cowboyjen68]

Hi Jen, weird to talk to someone with your same first name, but anyway, I'm not even sure what I'm asking here exactly, my long distance gf left me for a boy, but she said she still wants to be friends and even that she still loves me, she just doesn't like me as much as she used to? I'm fucking lost right now.

When you have a name like Jen, it is going to happen more than you than for most people. One in 5 lesbians is a Jen is the statistic I have arrived at. What she is saying is her way of letting you down easy. Her actions can be a product of several things.. maybe she really did just grow apart or realize she was not as passionate about you as she thought. Sadly, sometimes that happens once the newness wears off. Or she could be finding it easier to be with a man. Less pressure from familiy or friends, her religion or culture to change if she dates a man. Long distance relationships are very hard to keep up if you don’t already have an established physical, visual and emotional connection. If you have never been or are rarely within close physical proximity of each other... your chemistry cannot be strengthed enough to maintan a relationship. It is simply hard most people to be close to each other without being close to each other. 

I understand the feeling of being lost and of loss. It is normal. And you are okay having those feelings as you deal the the shock and the reality of what is going. The bottom line reallly is that she left you. Maybe some day you will be friends.. but my guess she is saying that to soften the blow to you.. to be nice.  It is best for both of you to gain some distance. Let her go. Let her move on with the life she needs to live. 

Refocus your attention on you. Be sad for a while, but start to do things for you. Meet people, take a class, join a club, volunteering can be a wonderful way to meet new people, feel good for helping, and, most of all, be distracted from the hard stuff. 

[yorulla]

[drumm3r]

VIV FITZSIMMONS, track one. ❛ i thought you said you never wanted to see me again. ❜

“ i did . i ... i do . ” he says , for a moment cursing himself for that hesitation . because it was true , he did tell viv when everything was falling apart that he didn't want to talk to her , see her . to be fair , he had said the same thing to ori as well , it was a group message , not a viv specific one .

to also be fair , it wasn't entirely true .

because if it was , he probably wouldn't have known about her pop up show in the city , let alone actually show up . but here he was , in his barely concealed outfit of a hat & sunglasses , trying to act surprised that viv spotted him as if he wasn't edging as close to where she was going to be as he could. maybe he wasn't good at this , actually .

“ i didn't even know you'd be here , anyway . i was on a walk or whatever . ”

[drumm3r]

ORION WARD , track one. ❛ you look ridiculous in that outfit, by the way. ❜

“ real bold , coming from you , ” the words snap back quickly , though deep down , he knows the outfit he's put himself in might look a little silly . since no instructions failed , he's spent a lot of his time just working as a session drummer , though its not ever really been the most liveable way of living .

thank god for the tiktok creator fund .

but at least tonight , one of the guys he had recorded with had called earlier to tell him that their drummer last second got a bad case of food poisoning , & did he think he could come fill in last minute ? only catch is they dressed in themed costumes for their shows , so now benjis dressed as some weird 80's cowboy , & that would have been fine had he not run into ori right now . what were the fucking chances ?

“ what the hell do you want anyway ? what are you doing here ? ”

[sumarmztheserendipitousseal]

I'm convinced straight girls aren't actually straight and just like the idea of liking a guy because why are there so many rules to love

"3 month rule!!"

"Orange peel theory!"

"If he'd eat from a strawberry field while starving that means he'd cheat!"

like why are you trying to find excuses to break up 🧍‍♀️

Don't even get me started on those 'ick' posts bc everytime I imagine my crush with those it just makes me giggly and blush because omg they're so cute and adorable and I need to put her in my pocket, wdym imaginary scenarios made you stop loving your crush???