Hmmmmmmmm...... I've been somewhat avoiding this post because there are still a lot of negative feelings floating around when it comes to this situation. However, after me and this person went our separate ways I wrote something I really enjoyed. So I think I owe it to myself to at least say something.....
My last relationship was a good one, a very good one that I believe her and I both enjoyed. I believed at the time that we really connected and had a great chemistry together. I was head over heels for this girl and I tried my best to show it as often as I could. I wasn't perfect and I know I can be difficult in my own ways at times. Unlike my other past relationships, this one happened to end on a bad note, which I'm not used to.... We were together for a little over a year and a half so the breakup was tough, probably for both of us.
I don't want to say anything bad because I don't know the whole story. Maybe she had a reason for doing what she did. Maybe she's happier now. Or maybe it's the opposite and she was confused or not ready for commitment.... I don't know but what I do know is what I learned from this situation.
Im NOT crazy!! If you're one of those people who has a strong intuitive side TRUST IT. If you don't feel right about something or have a bad feeling in your gut, address it. Although I had my own insecurities and personal demons I had yet to face I knew something wasn't right. As it turns out in the end my intuition WAS right and as much as it hurt at the time I really did love her. And now, I honestly wish her the best and hope she's found what she was looking for...
Anyways, while we were together she would stay over and have to wake up for work super early to get to her job almost an hour away. So, at the time I had two alarms set in my phone, one at 5:40am for her and one set for 7:00am for me. The morning after she ended things my phone decided to go off at 5:40am......
I couldn't believe it when I woke up and there was NO WAY I was going to be able to get back to sleep. So I decided to write. Write anything. Anything that came to mind. This is what came out and when I look back on it now I still kinda smile.
The alarm goes off. Time for work… Wait, its only 5:40… Great, a perfect start to a LONG day… 5:40, although meaningless to most, was that cool beach breeze through the window or the sound of chirping birds on a spring morning to me. Not too long ago at this time she would be turning off my alarm just to come back for my warmth for 5 more minutes. She would then slowly get dressed while I struggled to adjust to, what seemed like, the brightest ceiling light ever invented. Most mornings, just that small glimpse of her would turn me on. She had me… 5:40 was that time of day where I got to remind myself just how lucky I really was. 5:40 was the perfect time to start a long day without her because I knew she would be coming back.
