Pillars of Himbo - Do Some Himbos Sit Further In One Category Than Another and Is There a Form (As In Platonic Form) of Himbo ... If This Excessively Long Title Wasn't An Indication ... This Is A Joke Post
So Spouse Unit 1 has been sending me jokes because I'm sick. I am on the strong meds and as such am off my ADHD meds for the next four days ...
Please enjoy the fruits of that.
So, let us recall a Himbo must be sufficently:
Pure of Heart
Broad of Chest
Dumb (specifically of Ass)
What does this mean:
Pure of Heart: A himbo cannot be cruel, mean, or intentionally harmful. But, due to their being dumb of ass, they can be duped by others/ social standards into doing things that are (objectively) kind of stupid and/or, potentially, out of character, harmful to themselves, or those around them. Though, they overcome this by the end of the piece of media because they are, first and foremost, kind and PURE OF HEART.
Broad of Chest: They have muscles. This is self explanatory.
Dumb (specifically of Ass): They're dumb, but they are dumb in a very specific way. They are not just stupid. They are stupid in a way that this character thinks is logical.
My argument is as follows. Some Himbos sit more in one these categories than others. Some are more Pure of Heart with the other two categories being present, but more secondary. Others are more Dumb (specifically of Ass) with their pure heartedness and broad chestedness being their secondary Himbo Qualities.
I propose that we call them The Three Himbo Classes, if you will, to borrow terminology from DnD.
Class 1: Pure of Heart - The Paladin Class Himbo
(Image from his wiki)
Now, we can agree that this character is pure of heart, absolutely.
Obviously, he is broad of chest. Very clear.
And, only someone sufficiently dumb of ass would give up all their strength to the god of the underworld the day before having to fight titans ... and then go through with the fight even after giving up his strength ... like seriously.
However, his reasoning for giving up said strength WAS, primarily, out of his pure hearted desire to, in his mind, save Meg from being harmed by Hades.
Thus, if we were to suppose that Himbos could be placed in classes based on affinity towards specific Himbo more so than others, I would argue that Hercules is a "Pure of Heart" or Paladin Class aligned Himbo due to the fact that what has a tendency to drive his being dumb of ass, and in fact also his being broad of chest, is his pure hearted desire to be one of the great heros and rejoin his family on Mt. Olympus.
Class 2: Broad of Chest - The Fighter Class Himbo
(Once more from the Wiki)
I am showing my age
Dave is, occasionally, too clever to be purely a Dumb of Ass class Himbo. He is also, occasionally, too willing to be cunning to be purely a Pure of Heart/ Paladin Class Himbo.
However, he DOES possesses both traits of being Dumb of Ass and Pure of Heart.
They just don't consistently drive him in the same way being muscle-y does.
Thus, we have our Fighter Class (Broad of Chest) driven Himbo class, which I think Dave fits. As, he is sufficiently broad of chest ... see above design.
Class 3: Dumb (Specifically of Ass) - The Kronk Class Himbo
(The Wiki again)
This man is getting his own class because he is the only one to be duped for long enough to assist the primary villain of the film. But, that is because he is so dumb (specifically of ass) that he has convinced himself that he's doing the right thing.
There is a very specific intelligence behind those eyes that goes directly into making baked goods and nowhere else.
Yzma has duped this man. She should be ashamed of herself .... I love her for it.
(WHY DID THEY TAKE YOUR SOLO ERTHA?? WHYYYYY??? WE WERE ROBBED!)
But, anyway, this character is the one for whom this class is being named ... I do make the rules. I'm not changing them.
Now, Is There A Platonic Form?
I would argue ... yes. Actually.
There are some characters that are a perfect balance of being sufficently:
Pure of Heart
Broad of Chest
Dumb (Specifically Of Ass)
Who are they? Who are my favorites?
In no particular order (and yes they have to be THESE SPECIFIC VERSIONS OF THESE CHARACTERS UNLESS OTHERWISE STATED!!!)
(Wiki)
His chest is not quite as *cartoonishly* broad as some of the previous examples. But, I mean ... bro does have some nice muscles. And, let us also be real ...
"It means ... sun god ..."
"Ah ... yes ... it must be some kind of talisman ... or maybe it's ancient Greek!"
(Also, bonus points for also being pretty easily duped until his pure heartedness overrides his being dumb of ass enough to be duped by Frollo's crazy.)
He has his moments where he has functional brain cells, but his last two neurons form a synapse only when the Good Lord himself decides to let them.
And, I mean ... pure of heart? Dude jumped into a burning windmill to save a family.
He meets the criteria.
His pure of heartedness also *does* occasionally feed his being dumb of ass soooo he might lean a little towards Paladin territory ... but ... overall a well balanced Himbo.
(From Wiki Gallery)
(But, in this case, from what I've seen so far, G2 Roland still fits Platonic form of Himbo criteria.)
This specific image is the one I was looking for because this specific episode is the one I would cite to prove this man is THE Platonic Form of Himbo.
Pure of Heart:
The heart of Roland's wish to not be king anymore, and instead to be a villager in this episode, stems from the purehearted desire to have sufficient time for leisure and to spend that time with his family. Misguided though it is, it is a PURE HEARTED desire.
Other Examples:
** Carries around a watch with all of his children's (including his adopted stepdaughter's) paintings/ portraits inside it added immediately after said stepchild was added to the family
** Forgave royal sorcerer (idiot younger brother? kindof? ... they have a Theo/ Vincent kinda relationship even though the gravel eating artist is younger ... we'll go with that.) after the depressed gravel eating sorcerer nearly took over, and promptly saved the kingdom, despite being ... lowkey ... and kinda naturally pissed off about it? [Still a better king than Fredrick, but that bar is in hell.]
** Does not understand how injuries work, but his heart is in the right place ...
[still do not understand the writing on that episode, I'm just glad I watched it as an adult because I would have been even more insufferable at 8, I promise]
** He loves his wife, your honor
Broad of Chest:
Look at this man! He is sufficiently broad of chest and has been known to catch his friends and family on multiple occasions. Fandom has also decided he can carry a grown man. For sure.
Dumb (specifically of Ass):
In the episode "The Baker King" we have such gems as:
"Cow, I command you to give me milk!"
"Mirror, I wish to be king again ... ... right now ... if possible."
(While he should know no one recognizes him)
*GLOMPS FORMER STEWARD*
Examples of His Being Dumb (specifically of Ass):
** Tries to make visiting king feel better about being terrible at sports by deciding the best course of action is to have him and his wife set his tennis racket and a tree on fire, amongst other hijinks.
** Is easily swayed / possibly manipulated by court gossip & the past opinions of his father
[see Phoebus and Kronk's fatal flaws of being dumb, specifically of ass, and how it can impact them despite being pure of heart]
** Has 0 impulse control ... just ... none
** It has been confirmed that he gave his 8 year old child a magical Amulet while having no idea what it did, and even after she got stuck inside it the creator confirmed Roland II still believes it was just "a really cool present" because "it's magic."
Conclusions
All of this to say, I do think some Himbos lean more strongly in one Himbo trait than another, but I do also think there are some Himbos that are more balanced.
I just also think Roland II from my daughter's favorite television show happens to be the platonic form of Himbo.
I listen to this character talk probably at least 2-3 times a week. I've seen him do so many dumb, specifically of ass, things, while also doing them out of a desire to do good with all his muscles.
Good man. But, dumb as a box of rocks most of the time.
Not all of the time.
Like Phoebus, blessed with two neurons whose synapse can fire by the good graces of God sometimes. But, sometimes is only when they need a Hail Mary, and by God do I love him for it.
