Tfa Megatron just cucks the shit out of Ultra Magnus by fucking Optimus stupid. He's so much bigger that you can see a bulge where his Megatron's spike is and if he were able to do anything but moan and gasp Optimus would just be begging for more.
Optimus def gets knocked up which just rubs salt in the wound lmfao.
The FAIL Team in: Broken Artifact Broken Code (Part 5: Dogma)
Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Interlude
For @yayasvalveplay's BABC AU!!
It's the second to last part~
----
After going over the alt-modes their probes scanned for each of them, Dogma found he looked quite dashing in his. Not to mention the practicality of having a bed that could carry the AllSpark when they find and retrieve it.
Peacekeeper looked a little old-fashioned, but he found it suited him quite well.
And then there was Muskrat.
He put on a grin as he pressed a servo against his second-in-command’s shoulder.
“That form suits you,” Dogma said, grateful that he was wearing his visor so his friend wouldn’t notice that his optics were looking at him like he was more than just a friend.
His closest friend grinned wide at him.
“Thanks for that, I will admit it looked a little odd at first but it’s growing on me,” Muskrat said with a wide smile before stopping and shaking his head. “What are your orders?”
“Peacekeeper here will be leading us to where Goofball’s signal was last seen, and from there we will locate her and see if she has any information on the AllSpark and the Decepticon presence on this planet. No matter what, we have to maintain our stealth and blend in with the native inhabitants here, understand?” After saying that and getting nods, he turned and transformed before rolling out of the ship.
But as soon as his tires touched the green organic blades, he quickly went back to his root mode with a screech and fell back onto the ramp.
“Gross! How can anyone stand to drive on that junk?”
He looked at Muskrat who was also hesitant, only to turn towards Peacekeeper when the communications specialist let out a sigh and drove onto the green junk.
Said communications specialist turned in a circle so his front end was facing both him and Muskrat.
“Formyle already has the decontamination chambers ready for us, just deal with it until we find Goofball.”
Realizing that he needs to quickly regain his composure, Dogma got up and transformed again before slowly driving on the green junk. His entire frame shuddering. “Right, of course. Come Muskrat, let’s roll out!”
--
It felt like they had been driving for megacycles, but after checking his internal chronometer Dogma knew it wasn’t even a full megacycle when they finally arrived at the place where Goofball’s signal was last recorded. If it wasn’t for the fact that they were trying to lay low, then he would have gone into his root mode due to the sheer level of congestion on the roads. So they had to suffer until they made it to what looked like some kind of industrial area.
“Are you sure this was her last known location?” Dogma asked.
“That’s what the tracker says.”
“Obviously she’s in there, maybe even being held hostage, we have to go in and save her!”
“We can’t just barge in there! Remember, there could be Decepticons and the AllSpark. We have to be stealthy with this extrac-”
Dogma listened to the brief back and forth between Muskrat and Peacekeeper as he watched the roll-up door of the warehouse. If the tracker was accurate, then she was last seen inside of that old run-down looking building. Perhaps she was using this as a temporary base of operations until she could get some information about the Decepticons and the AllSpark?
It would be the smart thing to do, and he knew she could be relatively intelligent when performing her assigned function.
“Are you detecting the AllSpark’s signature in that building?” He asked, mostly idling just a few feet away from the warehouse.
“No sir, but I am detecting some Cybertronian signatures in there.”
Decepticons, that’s the only thing that made sense.
And yet a majority of the Decepticon population are large Flight-Frames, so why would they be in a building that’s obviously too small for them to fit comfortably. Which means the Cybertronians in there must be Autobots, but there shouldn’t be a team stationed out here. In fact, no one should know about this planet as it wasn’t in any of their databases nor was it located in Decepticon or Neutral territory.
“Peacekeeper, do you recall which team reported finding the AllSpark?” He asked.
It only took a klik for him to receive his answer.
“It was a team of repair bots, led by Optimus Prime.”
That old washout? At least it wasn’t someone like Sentinel, in fact it’s probably a good thing it was Optimus who found it because he’s long out of the running for taking the Magnus position after Ultra Magnus. Perhaps if he and his team can bring Optimus and his crew plus the AllSpark back to Cybertron, then they would be hailed as heroes for saving a team of repair bots from the Decepticons.
With that thought in his processor, he drove closer to the warehouse and went back into his root mode.
“I doubt the signatures you’re detecting are Decepticons, in fact… I have reason to believe that Optimus and his team are in here,” he said as he reached down to open the door.
“Wait!” Peacekeeper shouted as he went back into his root mode. “There’s five signatures in there! There are only supposed to be four bots including Optimus Prime himself!”
“Then Goofball must be with them,” Dogma said with a grin as he opened the door and looked at the five bots gathered together only to freeze.
If he didn’t have his visor on then he’s sure his optics would be far too wide as he witnessed Strika, Megatron’s General of Destruction, with her elbow on a pile of stone blocks and one of Optimus’s servos gripped tight in hers.
Blitzwing, another one of Megatron’s generals, stood cheering the two on.
While Agent Blurr (Why the frag is he here?) stood by a scoreboard, which presently had Strika winning by a massive landslide.
And then there was Ratchet who had his face in his servos.
For what felt like far too many planetary rotations, Dogma stood there completely dumbfounded.
And then he could feel Muskrat and Peacekeeper walk over to stand by him, also watching this scene in silence.
That was when the silence was finally broken, by Muskrat.
Sweet beloved and glorious Muskrat said perhaps the absolute worst thing he could have possibly said.
“Isn’t that that fake-femme Strika? It’s even uglier in person!”
Dogma swore he could hear a pin drop with how silent everything became.
Even Blitzwing, who was eagerly cackling and cheering Strika on earlier, stopped as his face spun to a more icy demeanor as he studied the three of them.
Strika released Optimus’s servo and turned to stare at Muskrat.
“What did you just say, Autobot?”
Before he or Muskrat could say anything, Peacekeeper quickly moved to stand in front of them and held his servos up in a placating manner.
“Terribly sorry about Muskrat here, he’s still incredibly young and doesn’t realize that Femmes can come in all shapes and sizes. We’re just here for…” he trailed off when Strika approached and pushed him to the side before grabbing Muskrat by his neck.
“What did you just call me?” She asked.
“I- I called you a- I called you a fake-femme, because- because femmes are supposed to be tiny delicate little things and you-”
Whatever Muskrat was about to say got cut off as she threw him down the street and straight into a different dilapidated building. She then looked between Dogma and Peacekeeper before crossing his arms over her chest.
“Consider this your first and only warning. Now what is your purpose here in Decepticon territory?”
Dogma could feel himself trembling. There was no way they could win in this fight, and for all he knew there were presently two—maybe even three or more hostages here. The odds were not in their favor.
“We- We were here to locate our scout, she went missing a few cycles ago,” Dogma said, deciding he would not mention the AllSpark at all. “Once we get her back then we will be gone, never to return!”
He could hear two sets of pedesteps approach them, his attention turning towards Optimus and Blurr. Though he blinked when he noticed a look of anger in their optics, and then he felt his spark freeze when he looked at where their Autobrands were supposed to be.
Instead of the comforting red that represented the legendary guardian that saved Cybertron from the Invaders from Beyond the Sky, he saw the sharp purple symbols which represented the tyrannical reign of the Decepticons.
It was Optimus who spoke up first.
“She is no longer your scout, so I suggest you leave now. Also I know you’re here for the AllSpark, but you won’t find it because it was destroyed.”
“What do you mean she isn’t our scout anymore? Ultra Magnus assigned her to our team! Unless… Is she defecting!?” Dogma shouted, his frame now shaking with slight anger. He should have realized her patch malfunctioned a lot sooner. He should have had Formyle perform maintenance on it before sending her out on this mission.
At this point the news that the AllSpark was destroyed wasn’t nearly as important, namely because a destroyed AllSpark means the ‘Cons can’t use it to take over Cybertron. So it was likely done out of a necessity, but why were Optimus and Blurr wearing Deceptibrands?
Before any of them could move any further, Peacekeeper let out a curse as he set a servo on Dogma’s shoulder.
“I didn’t realize that law was still in effect, but that explains everything I’ve seen so far. We will take our leave now.”
For a moment Dogma turned to protest because how dare Peacekeeper suddenly step in like that!
Peacekeeper isn’t the leader of this team, he’s their communications specialist and radar technician!
He should stay within his assigned function if he’s to be a good and functioning cog in the Great Autobot Machine!
But he stopped when he saw the way Peacekeeper stared at him, his optics narrowed as if he was daring Dogma to challenge him.
He wisely shut his trap and nodded, already moving to pull Muskrat free from the dent he made in the building. Once he pulled Muskrat free, he sighed as he made a gesture for them to retreat back to the ship. At least they’re being allowed to get off of this planet online and in one piece instead of having their frames dumped somewhere to rust away into nothingness.
And since they were online, that means they could send a message to Cybertron and alert Ultra Magnus to what happened here.
But before he transformed, he turned back to look at Optimus the Traitor and actually smiled at him.
Even if Optimus wasn’t in the running for the Magnus position, it’s still nice to know that he won’t be a threat to him. Meaning it will be far easier to focus on pulling the rug out from under Sentinel and take his place as Ultra Magnus’s right-servo and successor.
“Muskrat, Peacekeeper, let’s roll out.”
--
The moment they got onto the ship, he quickly stepped into the decontamination chamber with Muskrat and sent a comm out to Formyle.
:: No need to run maintenance on any of us, we were unable to bring Goofball back. Just start the ship and get us out of here. ::
He swore he could hear a cheer from somewhere in the ship, but he wasn’t in the mood as he shut his optics and sighed.
Hopefully Ultra Magnus would give them a new scout, and maybe reassign Peacekeeper for that brief moment of insubordination.
At the reminder of their communications specialist, he turned and looked around the chamber but only saw Muskrat in there with him.
“Where’s Peacekeeper?” He asked.
Muskrat looked at him with confusion.
“I thought he was right behind us?”
Dogma groaned as he leaned against the wall of the chamber, knowing that it would take megacycles for them to be released. By that point their ship would likely be away from this planet, and there was no way they could go back for Peacekeeper.
He sighed as he lowered himself to the ground and realized that he was going to have to file this report.
“I guess we’ll have to declare Goofball and Peacekeeper offlined due to a mission gone wrong.”
Things would not be the same without the two of them, but there wasn’t much he could do now.
--
“What are you still doing here, Autobot?”
Peacekeeper looked up at Strika and shrugged.
“There were a lot of smaller things about them that weren’t sitting right with me, but it’s as they say. Eventually the little things add up until you either break down and accept them, or you get annoyed enough to ditch them.”
“Understandable, but you should know this is Decepticon territory. We don’t accept anybot who still wears that badge,” she said, pointing to the brand that sat below his chest.
For a moment he stood there and smiled as he brought his servos to where his brand sat. The tips of his digits rubbed against the brand until he let his needles poke out where he could scratch out the brand.
“I’m not sure if I can take your badge, but would you accept a Neutral until I can make a proper decision?”
“That isn’t for me to decide, but I will take you to Lord Megatron and Consort Optimus.”
Banished from Cybertron where due to an old Cybertronian Law, any damage caused to great and ancient relics/artifacts requires that the culprit is banished from Cybertron for all of eternity.
So when Optimus destroys the AllSpark and the Steelhaven arrives, he gets a notice that he is permanently banished from Cybertron and even Autobot Space. It doesn't matter that you were trying to keep it out of Megatron's servos nor does it matter that you're trying to get the pieces back together. You broke it, face the consequences of your action.
At least his team refuses to return to Cybertron with Ultra - they say that as members of Optimus's team, they're equally responsible for the destruction of the AllSpark.
And so they have their brands removed and the Steelhaven leaves...unless Ultra tries to claim Earth as part of Autobot space to have the team moved somewhere else.
Ok but if they try Megatron can slap them with the cease and desist letter/ holo video rocording.
"You see Ultra Magnus. The only bots living here are Decepticons. And as the leader. Earth is now under MY protection. So kindly fuck off. . . Did I say that correctly Sari?"
Ultra Magnus is fuming because what do you mean no one is there but Decepticons. There's ex autobots. He knows he stripped them of their autobot brands.
Only to get a picture of the once autobot earth crew with decepticon symbols. Flipping Ultra Magnus off. Longarm come here what does this earth symbol mean!?
Jazz is debating weather or not to defect to get Prowl aft.
Also in the background Megatron is courting Optimus. And they are both grilling Sumdac about being a bad father. Because look at that girl. She has no social skills.
RUNNING ON EMPTY RIGHT NOW AND I AM WHEEZING WITH LAUGHTER AT ULTRA KNOWING JACK SHIT ABOUT AUTOBOT CULTURE!
He's spent his entire functioning in the Upper Caste learning all of the rules and regulations, going through the Academy and becoming the perfect Prime and candidate for inheriting the Magnus hammer from Powered Convoy, so he wouldn't know what those who are of a lower caste would do on a regular basis.
Well he would know about erotic datapads and have them banned for painting Warframes in a sympathetic light. He can't have that because if Civilians start to find Warframes to be attractive then they might start to question things.
Also he's absolutely jealous because Megatron is a better erotic writer than he is. At least he was able to destroy every last copy of Megatron's writings on Cybertron and prevent them from leaking onto the planet - the only thing allowed is a censored copy of Towards Peace which is locked up in the Academy and used for teaching purposes.
At least once Optimus has been declared exiled for breaking the AllSpark, he can finally pull out all of the erotic datapads he had collected without anyone knowing without any further guilt.
"Well since I'm no longer an Autobot, that means I can freely read these without worrying about being caught and reported for having contraband."
Lmao ya it is funny.
And Optimus would have that kind of a collection. And when Megatron figures out that he has some of his own work.
Oh this little ex autobot is full of surprises. Perhaps he should give him some of his drafts as a courting gift?
the amount of valve worship Prowl is going to get when Jazz finally arrives on Earth is going to leave him walking funny for days. Jazz gives me the vibes of someone doesn’t leave until Prowl is over stimulated and fully fucked out, no leaving of lingering charge
Jazz doesn't do half ass. It's all for nothing. He's getting Prowl to lift up his hips. Bucking into his mouth as he fucks his nod with his tongue.
Imagine he has a mod that allows his tongue to grow. And so it's almost like a second spike. Filling up Prowls valve nicely. Getting him to squirt than he licks up all his juices.
But also him finger fucking Prowl until he's a whining mess. His legs diging into the floor to find perches if he couldn't grab with his hands
