Prompt: I can’t get this fic out of my head until it’s resolved….
Pairing: Dick Grayson x reader
Warnings: Past torture, depression, Past major character death, past violence
Notes: I’m thinking this is the last installment of the Broken Faith series.
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5
You liked being at the Allen’s house. You helped Iris with chores around the house, goofed around with Bart, talked about everything with Wally. You’d missed Wally. You thought he’d been dead. Turns out that he ran so fast, the speed force sucked him in and he’d spent almost 6 years learning about the speed force. He even ran faster than before because of his time there. He liked to talk about it, and you liked to hear about it...the fact that the speed force was an actual entity was astonishing.
In return for learning about the speed force, you told him everything about what transpired after he left. You told him what Dick did in his time. You told him about joining the League but not feeling wanted there. You told him of the fallout with Bruce. You told him about Alvarez, the mission that you didn’t fully come back from, about Jason returning, about your fears, about killing Alvarez. You told him everything. Most of the talks consisted of you crying and Wally not far behind you.
When it came to talks like that, Barry and Iris took Bart out and left you both to talk. Barry knew mostly everything that had transpired since Wally had been in the speed force and had told Iris what happened. They knew that you needed Wally and that you didn’t want anyone else listening in. After all, Dick and Wally were your best friends when the whole Young Justice thing started. “There’s been one thing that you’ve avoided talking about, (Y/N/N).”
Wally’s hand continued to play with your hair as you leaned more into his side. You closed your eyes and sighed. “What happened two weeks ago,” you whispered. Wally stayed silent as did you. You picked at the fabric of his jeans before sitting up and turning to face Wally. You looked at him as he did you before you looked away. “About six weeks ago, Dick showed up, like I told you, in Smallville. He kept me from killing myself. He took me to the mansion after that, and we spent the next two weeks together. He wouldn’t let me out of his sight. I mean...I understand. If I had just caught him trying to kill himself, I would have never let him out of my sight. But it was getting on my nerves, not to mention that I couldn’t sleep. I’d get a couple of hours here and there, but I could never just sleep normally. So, I began to get up in the middle of the night and go to the kitchen and fix myself some tea and get a snack.
“About a week after being back at the mansion and getting into the nightly routine of waiting for Dick to go to sleep, fix tea and snacks, take coffee to Tim and get him to sleep, Alfred started to join me when I left the bedroom. He would talk to me and wouldn’t push me to talk about the obvious pain that I was going through. It would be about stupid things like how many new suits would we need to make in the next week because of the reckless bat family.” You gave a small chuckle at that. Your eyes were stinging as you thought of Alfred. You’d let him down.
“Well, two weeks ago, I went through the same routine. I’d gotten Tim to go get some sleep and I got a transmission from Bart about the prison breaks. I’d alerted all the teams and was gathering information with Alfred to send to the teams. (V/N) was one of the prisoners that was escaping. He’s the only villain to know where the Bat Cave was...the only villain to know my identity. Anyway, I started lockdown procedures. If I had noticed sooner that he was one of the escapees, I could have started the procedure sooner and maybe it wouldn’t have played out like it did.” You ran a hand over your face, wiping away the tears as you did.
“Alfred pointed out that (V/N) was already in the cave. I told the bats to help Jason and then come back and help me. I had Alfred hide and I strapped up with weapons and utility belts. I got to a higher vantage point and waited for him. I was shaking. I was scared. I was afraid that I’d kill again, and I wouldn’t forgive myself for that. I was afraid because I was out of the loop vigilante wise. I hesitated, then attacked. Once the smoke cleared, I started to get thrown around. I don’t know how long we fought before he threw me into the panels where we kept the suits, but when I got up, he had Alfred.” You didn’t bother to wipe the tears, knowing they wouldn’t stop any time soon.
You took a shaky breath as Wally grabbed your hands in his. His calming touch helped you to continue. “He kept talking about wanting to break me and that if he had to die for me to fully break, he was ready for it. He thought I needed another push.” You trailed off, lost in the memory playing through your head.
You picked yourself up out of the broken glass and paused as you saw him with Alfred poised in front of him. “You’re mentally unstable. All I’ve ever wanted after you first busted me was to break you. If killing me would be the final crack in your armor to break you...well, that’s a fair trade.”
“I’m already broken, asshole. Let him go.”
(V/N) laughed. “If you were truly broken, you wouldn’t be here fighting me. I think you need a little incentive.” You ran forward, unable to make it to them in time. You dropped down next to Alfred, ripping a piece of your shirt off and holding it onto the gaping hole in the man’s chest.
“Come on, stay with me Al.” Tears mixed with the blood and grime on your face.
Alfred reached up with a weak hand, placing it on your cheek. “It’s okay. Don’t let this break you. You’re stronger.”
Your scream filled the cave as Alfred stopped breathing. “No no no no,” you mumbled, starting chest compressions. “No, come back,” you cried.
“Hey, (Y/N). You’re not there anymore. There’s nothing you can do,” Wally’s hand was on your cheeks, making you look at him as he wiped your tears away. “Come on, you’ve got to talk about it, all the way through...then you can start to heal. Breathe with me and let it all come out.”
You took some calming breaths and nodded to yourself. “(V/N) had Alfred in front of him. I hesitated...I didn’t want to charge and him hurt Alfred...looking back on it, I should have just attacked. I hesitated and couldn’t get to him before he-before he took the eskrima and pushed it through Al’s chest. I tried to stop the blood. I tried-I tried to keep him ali-alive,” your body shook with sobs as Wally brought you into his arms. Your face was buried in his shirt.
“He died and that asshole wanted me to fight him. I don’t know what happened after he pulled me off Alfred. The next thing I do remember is holding onto Alfred when Bruce and the others entered the cave. Clark, Diana, Bart, and Conner showed up and no one was listening to me. I couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t watch another person die again, Wals. When I thought you had died, I was devastated. Then Jason died. Then some new members of the Young Justice team. Some of the League. I couldn’t stay and watch someone else I cared about die.”
You raised your head to look at Wally. “It’s like I’m cursed Wals. I had Zatanna check and I’m not, but that’s what it feels like. I didn’t kill (V/N), but I wanted to and that scared me. I wanted to take time to get myself together but Dick didn’t want to let me out of his sight because he’s afraid I’ll go and kill myself. I mean, I gave him ample reason to come to that conclusion, but I think that after knowing him for most of my life, that I deserve a little trust. They argued over me like I wasn’t even there.”
You sighed and wiped your eyes. “I don’t even know what I stand for anymore. After Alvarez, I became crueler...crueler than Batman. I bonded with Jason because he understood the new me. He understood me in ways that Dick didn’t. Don’t get me wrong, I still love the acrobat, but he just couldn’t understand me after they rescued me from Alvarez. Then I go and kill Alvarez and realize that I liked it. I liked the feeling of ending him...and I got that same feeling that night (V/N) attacked. It scared me. I scare myself Wally. How can I continue to fight the baddies of the world when there’s the possibility that I’d get the urge to kill them and be done with it?”
Wally stayed quiet for a little while before he responded. “When Captain Boomerang and Captain Cold teamed up and severely injured Uncle Barry, I lost it. I beat Cold within inches of death. I would have done the same to Boomerang had Diana not shown up. When someone hurts you or hurts those that you care about, your emotions go out of whack. You do things you normally wouldn’t do. You want to stop the threat before they hurt someone else you care about. When we have way too much baggage on our shoulders, we can’t stop ourselves. You’ve had way too much put on your shoulders to be able to stop and think about the consequences before acting. Especially when you’re blindsided. Had I been in your shoes, I would have killed Alvarez. Not because I wanted to, but because I couldn’t control it. You couldn’t either.”
“It goes against everything I use to stand for,” you sighed
“So change your standards. Redefine you. You’re obviously hurting over the fact that you’ve taken a life. I’d be worried if you weren’t.”
“What if I can’t do it anymore?”
“Then I support you either way.”
You looked up as your hair went flying everywhere. “Thanks for the warning, Wals.”
“I need your help.” Wally grabbed you and quickly pulled you downstairs. Your eyes widened as they landed on Bart and Barry who were out cold, cuts and burns covering their bodies.
“What happened,” you asked as Wally pulled out a case.
“Cold, Heatwave, and Trickster with upgraded weapons. They’re still running amuck and I can’t take the all by myself. No one is responding to my need of assistance. I know you’re still processing, but I have no one else, (Y/N/N).” He handed you the case and you opened it to see a new and improved suit with a new mask. Your hand paused over the uniform and your body tensed. “(Y/N/N), please.”
You looked at Wally and nodded, backing into the other room to change. Iris tossed you something as you exited the room. You caught it and smiled slightly. It was your old (weapon), new and improved. You glanced to Wally and stuck a hand out to him, “lead the way Flash Boy.”
Wally laughed slightly and picked you up bridal side before running off with you.
Upon arriving at the scene, you both quickly had to roll out of the way of Trickster’s latest trap. “Oh, your brought another friend Flashy...what does this one do?”
“I’ve got this one, you think you can get Cold and Heatwave?”
“Thought you’d never ask,” Wally stated before racing off.
Your moment’s distraction allowed Trickster to approach you. “Have a present,” he laughed as he tossed the teddy bear to you. You moved out of the way. The second it hit the ground, your eyes widened as it exploded.
“That’s just wrong,” you stated. “You have a couple of screws loose, don’t you?
“That’s what my therapist says,” he laughs as he pulls out a toy gun.
“Let me guess, everything that looks like it wouldn’t hurt-like children’s toys-actually pack a punch?”
He just laughed and pressed the trigger. You were quite shocked that an actual boxing glove clocked you. “Quite literally,” he responded.
You thought that after the fight you would take the boxing glove gun for your own….it was too cool to give up. The more you fought the man, the more you started to enjoy it, your fears dissipating. After landing a punch that sent the Trickster flying into a wall, you made sure to zip tie him and go in search of Wally.
As you rounded the corner, you saw at least fifteen police cars outside the bank. You shrugged your shoulders, it made sense. You walked over to the barricade, easily getting through without too much trouble. Before you could enter the bank, Heatwave was thrown out. Guns raised and you were in the firing range.
“Put your weapons down, I’ve got him,” you shouted and struck at Heatwave as he got up. He growled and slammed you into the ground. He turned his flame gun on the barricade making the first responders and news crews back up.
While he was distracted, you grabbed the (weapon) and attacked, taking him down quickly. He fired the gun at you, hitting the top of your left arm as you moved. You hissed at the pain, but put it in the back of your mind. You knocked the gun out of his hand and continued your attack. You both traded punches and kicks, both knocked each other back. One hard kick to your chest had you flying into the barricade next to the news crews.
A groan left your mouth as you sat up, seeing Heatwave going for his gun. “Not today, asshole,” you mumbled as you got up, grabbing the gun you’d confiscated from the Trickster. You closed the distance fast and just as he went to grab for the heat gun, you pulled the trigger on the toy gun you had. You almost laughed at the look on one of the cop’s faces as the glove knocked the muscled criminal off his feet, a few feet away from his heat gun.
You tucked his gun into your utility belt and attacked the man while he was down, effectively knocking him out. You zip tied him and led him over to the barricade before entering the bank.
You had to duck as a stray blast of the cold gun came right at you. You saw Wally slowly getting up as he vibrated the ice off of him. You took cover behind one of the desks as Cold fired again. Wally was soon next to you. “Trickster and Heatwave are down.”
“I can’t get close to Cold. He had Trickster set up traps all around the bank that only he knows about. I just got out of the latest trap,” Wally huffed.
“Heat and cold cancel each other out. Why don’t I just use Heatwave’s gun against Cold?”
“Uncle Barry once had them do that...it overloaded both their guns. It could work. But how are you going to get close enough for it to work?”
“That’s where you come in KF. I need you to find a spot that isn’t booby trapped.” Wally sighed but nodded. You took out a couple of batarangs and threw them one by one at Captain Cold to keep him occupied while Wally looked for a space for you to stand. Once he found one, he raced back to you and placed you on the spot.
You trained the heat gun on Cold as he did the same to you. “This wasn’t expected,” he stated.
“Place your cold gun down and surrender willingly and we’ll call it a day,” you responded.
“Not getting your ass handed to you by a non metahuman,” Wally called.
“I think not,” he pulled the trigger as you did. It was hard to explain exactly what happened next. As you expected, the two guns canceled each other, but you didn’t expect to be thrown backwards and onto another trap.
Wally knocked out Captain Cold, taking his gun and zip tying him before coming over to you. “This is gross,” you complained as you wiped slime from your face. Wally helped you up as he laughed then grabbed Cold and exited the building with you. Wally led Cold over to the authorities while you waited a good six feet from him.
You wiped more slime from your suit and face while Wally walked back to you. “I’m definitely glad that I didn’t step into that trap.” You glared at him and pulled out the toy gun, shooting it at his stomach. “That was uncalled for,” he gasped.
“Sorry, my finger slipped,” you smirked. You both started to laugh as Wally picked you up and ran you both back to the house.
The zeta tube announced your arrival to the mountain. You gave a hug to Damien as he approached you. “So is this what you’ve been doing since I left? Sitting on your asses? No wonder the League put me in charge of your training.”
“I’ll have you know that we’ve been very productive,” Dick stated as he brought you into a hug.
“Right,” you responded as you flipped Dick, pinning him.
“I wasn’t prepared for that.”
Jason laughed, “finally, someone that can take Blue Bird down.”
“I’ve taken him down, Todd,” Damien responded.
“Okay,” you called before Damien and Jason could get into it. “We start training tomorrow. I was thinking tonight we could do a movie and game night?”
“I’ve got the food,” Bart and Wally call as they race off.
You shook your head as the others brought out the games and selection of movies. You had come back into the vigilante life slowly. After helping Wally with Trickster, Captain Cold, and Heatwave, you couldn’t exactly stop. A month after that, you were back in (Y/C) taking down the villains you’d allowed to run amuck after what had happened to you. It felt good to be taking back the city. Soon after that, you’d team up with the bats and work on cases together. You’d done the occasional work with the League or Young Justice. After months of getting yourself back together, you were ready to be a full part of a team again.
As you sat on the couch while the team bickered over what to do first, Dick sat next to you. He pulled you into a gentle kiss. “I’m glad you’re back,” he whispered.
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