#brooklyn dating

[datinginbrooklyn-blog]

When he says he’s been "casually” dating a girl from across the country and doesn’t think he can see you anymore since she’s visiting

[nevergonnafallfor-blog]

Halloween 2013

N is having a Halloween party at her apartment, and another friend is having a birthday party nearby.  I get to N’s so we can make paper animal masks I got from the paper store.  Mine is a deer’s mask, all soft browns and faun colors.  N has a raccoon mask, that fits well with her curly, short, black hair. 

I am a little nervous about the Joker coming and hanging out with my friends.  Our first real date with witnesses I guess.  I’m not really sure what to expect.  We do our best when we’re alone, weaving a world around ourselves.

I run to the birthday party until I get texts from the Joker saying he’s by N’s apartment, the other party I’m supposed to meet him at.  I hurry through the Bushwick streets, my paper mask dangling from my hand.

I turn onto the street where N’s apartment is, and I see the Joker, slouched outside and nervously fixing an afro wig he has on.  I approach slowly, he had mentioned pulling together a costume.  I see a sort of peasant shirt, jeans, a paintbrush in his hand, the ‘fro wig, and a pair of raybans. 

“You’re Bob Ross!” I cry out as I go up to him, and he jumps up and holds me tight.

“With a twist,” he whispers in my ear, and suggestively lowers his sunglasses, looking down at me.  We kiss.

Inside the party, we get drinks, we mingle and mill around each other.  These are some of my close friends, so maybe I ignore the Joker every now and then for a little bit, but it’s not on purpose, I promise.  My sister is at this party too, and she randomly works in the same building as the Joker.  Not the same company, but they definitely see each other a few times a week.  So, my sister does the usual, protective, if you ever hurt my sister, I’ll kill you bit, and I see the Joker looking straight up anxious.

One of our mutual friends gets there so I know the Joker has a buddy and will be fine and I get pulled into a crying corner with another close friend who is getting over a break up.  I see the Joker looking for me every now and then, pulling his sunglasses down to see the room better.  We are outside and smoking a cigarette at one point when N makes fun of the Joker taking pics of me on our first date, and asks if he wants a picture of me in my costume.  I try not to giggle, but the Joker looks a wee bit perturbed.

We hop into a cab to go back to my place, after drunkenly arguing for a bit over who lives closer.  In the cab, he can’t keep his hands off of me, and we are whispering plans for later that night into each others ears.  I can feel him getting hard already.

We get into my bed, we cuddle and kiss and I say give me a second and run to the bathroom.  By the time I’m back, he is passed out COLD.

I huff and I puff and ... then pass out soon after.  By the time I wake up, the Joker has his arms around me, stroking my arms, letting his hands linger on my scars. 

“I can’t believe I did that again.” he says, referring to the falling asleep when sex could have been had.  We both laugh.  (Looking back, I really don’t know why we didn’t try morning sex when this happened, I am a huge fan of sex in the morning). 

Randomly, I ask him if he wears a helmet.  The Joker is one of those NYC bike riders, riding into work every morning, riding back home every night.  He says no, but for some weird reason, I can tell he’s annoyed with me.

“Well, that seems needlessly dangerous.” I say mildly.

“I know, I know,” he says with some frustration.

I wonder what the hell is going on.  Was that all it took?  Me being worried because of his lack of safety gear?

He gets ready to leave, we make out for a bit but my heart’s not in it, and neither is his.  As the Joker leaves, neither of us make any plans to see each other again.

He texts me that week, but nothing serious, and again, he’s not asking to see me again.

Really?  What happened?

*Also, can present-me just say that sometimes when you write about what made you fall in love with a person, you sort of feel like you’re in love with them again.  Even though (you hope) you’re not. 

[nevergonnafallfor-blog]

Glossary of FWENDSHIP

So this post will be a glossary of my friends.  I realize I want to talk about them and their reactions a bit more, because I do think their reactions to my dates help guide me to a certain extent.

I'll start with the college friends who I still hang out with all the time, or talk to all the time, the people I blame for not having enough time to date.

M- is one of my besties from college.  She's a small-town girl, seems shy at first, is fiercely loyal and smart, incredibly artistic and probably the person I open up to the most.  She moved to NYC with one of her besties, D. 

D- super good-natured, has extreme FOMO (fear of missing out, for you slang grampas out there), married M after they were: besties, then secretly sleeping together, then dating, then boyfriend/girlfriend. 

M&D are a weird sort of example our friend group has of the perfect couple.  They finish each others sandwiches, and are super supportive and good at communicating.  They also just have a lot of fun geeking out.  Sometimes when I ask them about the relationship M describes it as "creating a story together of what we want our lives to be like.  We're always rewriting, revising, recreating that story, but we get to do that with each other, and that's nice."

K- is a strong, independent woman, usually in long-term relationships.  She's protective, sweet, affectionate and very nurturing.  This is the friend whose arms I want to curl up in when I'm sad, she's comforting like that.

J- sort of hard to pin down, I call him the wild card.  J is sort of like the D to K's M.  Does this make sense?  He's a boy and him and K are best friends, but they can't get it together for some reason (they say they're not attracted to each other).  He's sarcastic, and sweet, the meta combo of most of the people on this list.  We lived together for a couple of years in Ditmas Park which is when J really became one of my besties.  He treats girls terribly though, and tends to date chubby ones, and recently has tended to date brown, chubby girls and I'm like DUDE!  The last time he showed me a picture of a chubby, brown girl he was taking out I actually had to say, "So are the girls you're dating going to start looking more and more like me?  OR..." and he was just like "Ha! Yep."

N- is sort of the Harold to my Kumar, or was when we smoked more.  She's incredibly talented but self-effacing to the point of needing a lot of reassurance.  Which is crazy because of how smart and funny she also is, and how we all laugh uproariously at her jokes.  We lived together in Bushwick, she's usually in semi-long term relationships as well.

B- is a little bit the baby of the group, or maybe we take turns of being the baby of the group.  B is thoughtful, kind, and considerate.  When any of us are sad he will go out of his way to be there.  He likes big parties, making us watch movies/tv shows he approves of, and he likes bad bitches that's his fucking problem.  No, for real, if you're a sweetheart with a positive attitude B will so not be into you!  But if you punch him in the face, and have tattoos and make him feel shitty, then you're alllllll in!

There's more to come, but these are basically the lovely people I surround myself with.  These are the ones that hear about all the sexcapades, and the tears, and the boys that I promise I'll never let into my bed again only to then listen patiently as I explain in great detail how said boy ended up in my bed... AGAIN.

Also, I figured this was a good time to introduce them since my next entry will be about how I took a first date to K's intimate, friends-only holiday party.

[justcrushalot]

YOU'RE ALL LIKE: #14

~*~....when it's time to go your separate ways after an awkward TInder date and dude asks: "Can I kiss you?"~*~