CATEGORIES ⠆fluff, secret-family!au, i have a butt load of fics like this in my drafts (if you can’t tell already i love dad!buck and eddie)
buck is usually an open book, he talked about everything and anything- the 118 practically knew his whole life story but then you came along. when things got serious with you he didn’t want to jinx it. being a man of superstition, he just didn’t want to ruin something good. so he never really told anyone. then a year of dating became two, you got engaged and not soon after had maisie. he didn’t mean to keep you away from his family (except maddie, he cannot keep anything from her) it just never came up. they just knew about the vague ‘im seeing someone’ stick that never was pushed because, knowing bucks past dating history, they thought the relationship wouldn’t last long especially when he stopped mentioning anything about it.
you hadn’t planned on coming by, buck had been texting you all day– it’d been a slow morning for them. maisie had just woken up from her nap with the sleepiest gummy smile and an arm stretched toward the door, babbling for him and you couldn’t resist, a surprise visit wouldn’t hurt, right? plus you missed him and you knew maisie did too.
it’s around 3PM, the team was getting ready for family dinner at the 118 when chim catches someone walking into the station. stood at the loft he sees a women with a child on her hip, tucked into her shoulder. the women looks around like she’s searching for something.
“can we help you?” chim asks from above, leaning against the railing of the loft, brows raised in curiosity.
you look up, spotting him. nerves growing in your stomach, one of many colleagues buck has told you about. you clear your throat, nerves betraying you as your voice comes out small and meek. “uh hi… i’m looking for evan.”
evan? no one ever calls him evan.
chims head tilts, turning back to buck who’s lathering on way to much butter on his biscuit. he calls out to buck, mid bite giving chim an unsatisfied look for stealing his attention from the delicious food.
“evan buckley?” hen asks from besides chim, gathered in curiosity looking down at you with a daughter suspiciously looking a lot like buck. eddie coming out from the locker room nearly does a double take, his eyes falling to maisie. “and… who’s this little one?”
buck, who’s now abandoned lunch, joins chim and hen ever the noisiest. comes to see you and your daughter with eddie, behind your shoulder softly speaking to maisie. his heart nearly stops and grows at the same time. his expression went from furrowed brows to a wide gleaming smile, excited to see you both. he practically bolts down the stairs, hen and chim watching him “sweetheart?” his familiar voice calls out, taking long, fluid steps to you. you watch the way the room freezes. hen’s eyes widen. chims jaw already dropped, bobby who’s joined at the railing as well at the sudden commotion. eddie blinks like he’s not sure he heard right.
“what are you two doing here?” a soft grin already forming—one that stretches into a full-blown smile the moment he sees you.
maisie squeals and kicks her feet in your arms, reaching out for him. buck doesn’t hesitate—he scoops her up with practiced ease, pressing a kiss to her chubby cheek. “she missed you,” you say softly, watching the way she burrows into his neck.
“i missed you too, sweet pea,” buck murmurs into her hair, before bending down a bit of give you a chaste kiss on your lips, everyone else in the station forgotten in the moment. the team looks at each other bewildered, what is going on? hen clears her throat, hands on her hips like a mother catching her child doing something bad. buck turns, maisie babbling, pointing at hens glasses. “oh! uhm guys, this is my fiancée.” wrapping his arm around you pulling you close. “and our daughter, maisie.”
you wave albeit a bit awkwardly, telling them your name. you’ve heard about them so much and seen pictures but they all look different in person– more welcoming, like home.
“wait, wait,” chim gasps, holding his hands in front of you “you’re his wife.” he points to you, then maisie “and that’s your daughter who looks basically like a mini version of you!” grasping the concept that buck has his own little family without anyone knowing. then a look of realization hits his face. “does maddie know? you’ve been withholding a little niece and best friend from jee-yun!”
you and buck exchange a look, eyes narrowing– his mouth faltering to a nervous grin “yeah about that… maddie knows”
chimney practically freezes “she’s met jee-yun?” you nod, biting your lip anxiously, buck looks at you the same. you were surprised chim hasn’t caught on, they’ve meet quite a lot since maisie was six months old. maddie even telling you once jee-yun wouldn’t stop saying ‘mai-mai’ the day after they went to your house and chim chalked it up to jee-yun being in her ‘imaginary friends’ phase. the rest of the 118 look at him– unsure how’d he react, then wordlessly he pulls his phone out of his pocket before heading to the locker room, probably calling maddie.
“guess the cats out of the bag.” hen remarks, the rest of the group nodding along. the moment is quick to pass as they turn their attention to your and your daughter, their newest revelation.
“how old is she?” eddie asks, already drifting closer brushing a finger over her small, chubby knuckles. her hand soon enveloping his finger in a tiny fist, he gives the group ‘are you seeing this? someone take a picture!’ look
“just turned one,” you say, shifting into buck’s side. “she’s been crawling but has yet to take her first steps.”
“i—wow,” bobby says with a slow shake of his head. “buck, you’ve been holding out on us.” looking to wear hen and eddie are now clamoring around her trying to make her laugh, making silly faces and playing peek-a-boo.
“i wasn’t trying to hide them,” buck says quickly, eyes flicking to you. “i just… it felt nice, keeping something just for me for a little while, you know?”
you squeeze gently his bicep. you understood. he’d lived so much of his life in the open, under watchful eyes and immense expectations put on himself and his job. but this your little family was something he got to build quietly.
“so this is why you started turning down overtime,” hen says with a knowing smile.
“and showing up to shift early with coffee, black and this aura… should’ve known as a father myself, how did i not notice earlier?” eddie says with a smirk.
buck laughs, bouncing maisie gently as she clutches at his shirt. “yeah. turns out being a dad makes you… grow up a little.”
“a lot,” you tease under your breath.
the 118 gather around slowly, the initial shock fading into curiosity and warmth. chim back after giving maddie a earful and promising a play date with maisie soon. maisie charms them all within five minutes, everyone having a turn carrying her and taking quite a liking to bobby, which who wouldn’t? even sharing her star shaped puffs with the team after they invited you to stay for lunch
you lean into buck’s side as he watches his team interact with your daughter, around the table. maisie in eddies lap as they coo and giggle at her, gnawing on a piece of bread. this was it, this is what he’s wished for all his life, his daughter and you with the people he loves the most. you catch the way his eyes shine a little.
“you okay?” you ask quietly.
he nods, his arm tightening around your waist.
“yeah,” he murmurs. “i think… i think i finally get what home feels like.”
ownership of starrvsn. please do not repost, modify or translate.
“You’re strong. You’re brave. You’re the best partner I’ve ever had. And the most real person I know.” ˚ ༘ 🦕
Synopsis: You’ve come a long way from the girl your parents tried to mold. LA gave you a second chance, and the 118 gave you a reason to stay. But when your estranged parents return, suddenly everything you’ve fought for — your healing, your self-worth — starts slipping through your fingers. And Buck, who knows what it's like to be made to feel like you’re never enough, refuses to let you spiral alone.
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff
AU: None
Pairing: Evan Buckley x Paramedic!Afab!Reader
Warnings: Emotionally unavailable parents, mentions of familial and childhood trauma, body image issues.
Note: This is based on an actual realization I had with my own parents, because they always try to mold me into someone I’m not. If you’re going through something similar, please know that your self worth is not tied to these people and their opinions do not matter. Lots of hugs! Don’t forget to like + reblog as well because they are very much appreciated.
You were never enough — not for the parents who raised you, not for the version of success they carved out long before you had a say.
They wanted you in a white coat or behind a desk in a pristine office with your name etched in gold on the door.
Doctor. CEO.
Something to brag about at parties, something that didn’t involve dirt-stained boots or adrenaline-fueled sirens screaming through the city.
But that was never you.
You were the one who ran headfirst into chaos, hands steady, heart louder than logic.
You were the paramedic on the front lines — saving people, stitching lives back together in the middle of a street, on the floor of someone’s living room, beneath flickering streetlamps at 3AM. You were the kind of woman who found herself in the mess, not behind a polished title.
And when you weren’t holding someone’s pulse in your palm, you were sketching out the day on the back of call sheets, painting the quiet between shifts, listening to music the way some people listened for meaning.
Your mother never liked that either.
“You’re hiding behind your hobbies,” she used to say. “You could be someone if you just tried harder. You look like someone.”
She always said that like it was a curse — like beauty meant you owed the world something performative. Like being seen was more important than being whole.
But you had built yourself up — brick by stubborn brick — from the ache of being overlooked. And in the firehouse, with the roar of engines and the quiet camaraderie of those who understood, you had finally found peace.
Especially in him.
Buck wasn’t just a fellow firefighter.
He was your calm in the storm. He was the one who didn’t flinch when you unraveled, the one who saw past the version of you shaped by pressure and criticism. He never tried to change you — only reminded you of who you already were.
The girl your parents tried to remake… she didn’t survive the shift.
But the woman standing in her place? She carried trauma, yes — but she also carried purpose. Family. The kind that came with turnout coats, inside jokes, and a seat saved at the station table.
And most days, that was more than enough.
Until they came back.
The sun hadn’t fully broken over Los Angeles yet, but the city was already humming — slow and sleepy in some corners, chaotic in others.
Buck had his usual iced coffee in one hand, his keys in the other, and your favorite breakfast sandwich tucked into a brown bag he pretended not to make a big deal about.
You teased him for it every time, but the way he shrugged and smiled like it was second nature made it harder and harder not to fall for him again each morning.
“You still deny I’m your favorite,” he grinned, handing you the bag as you slid into the passenger seat of his truck.
“You’re not my favorite,” you said, already biting into the sandwich. “You just bring good food.”
Buck smirked. “That’s basically the same thing.”
It had been a slow, quiet thing between the two of you. Not the blazing, dramatic romance people wrote songs about — but something softer.
Healed.
It came after the long nights, after the therapy sessions, after the breakdowns and the breakthrough that came after.
You weren’t looking to be rescued anymore. Neither was he.
Instead, you’d built something steady — like muscle memory, like breath.
You woke up, met him outside of your apartment, showed up to work, made fun of each other in the locker room, rolled your eyes when Hen caught you smiling too wide.
It was comfort. It was ease.
And lately, it felt like the kind of thing you could build a life around.
At the station, the team had already claimed their seats in the kitchen — Hen nursing her coffee like a lifeline, Chim flipping through a magazine he probably had no intention of reading, Eddie snorting at something Ravi said under his breath, and Buck sliding into the seat beside you.
“You gonna eat both of those pieces or are you feeling generous today?”
“Generous, with you? Never,” you shot back, pushing your half-finished plate toward him anyway. He beamed like you’d just handed him gold.
Bobby walked in mid-laugh, muttering something about the last shift’s messy truck logs, before giving you both a nod.
You felt a flicker of gratitude settle under your ribs — like maybe this was your real beginning. Like the ghosts from your childhood didn’t have a place at this table anymore.
Then your phone buzzed.
It was a simple vibration at first. One you ignored.
Then another.
Then a third.
You reached into your hoodie pocket without thinking, glancing at the screen as Buck leaned over to grab the creamer behind you.
Mom.
Dad.
No message. Just the names lighting up your screen in tandem, like they were waiting to be let in again.
You froze for a second too long.
“You okay?” Buck asked, catching the shift in your posture.
You nodded quickly, sliding the phone screen-down onto the table. “Yeah. Just spam.”
“Spam with your last name?” Hen raised a brow, sipping her coffee. You shot her a subtle glare that only made her grin.
Buck didn't press, but his eyes lingered a second longer than usual, quietly clocking the change in your mood.
You forced yourself to laugh along with the team as Chim started mocking something Ravi said, but your head was miles away.
You hadn’t seen your parents in a little over a year and a half. Not since the last screaming match that ended in a slammed door and a one way plane ticket back to LA without looking back.
They’d always wanted you to be someone else — and for a long time, you thought if you just tried hard enough, you'd become that person. But you had come a long way since then.
You weren’t a project anymore. You weren’t unfinished.
You were someone now.
And yet, all it took was one notification to make your stomach twist like you were seventeen and living under their roof again.
Buck gently nudged your knee under the table.
“You sure you’re good?”
You looked at him — really looked — and for a moment, you wanted to tell him everything.
How scared you were to open that message. How tired you were of being molded into someone else’s dream. How the life you had now felt fragile suddenly, like it could be taken away the second you let the past back in.
But the moment passed.
“Yeah,” you lied, forcing a smile. “Just tired.”
Buck watched you carefully, like he didn’t believe you — but also didn’t want to push you before you were ready. Instead, he smiled softly and handed you the last bite of your sandwich.
“Well, wake up. You’ve got another twelve hours with my charming self.”
You laughed — because it was easier than crying — and took the food from his hand.
“Lucky me.”
But in the back of your mind, the messages waited.
And you knew it was only a matter of time before you’d have to decide whether to open the door… or finally close it for good.
The call wasn’t heavy, not in the way that stuck to your skin for days. A minor traffic collision, a few broken bones, a scared kid who wouldn’t stop clinging to Chimney until his mom arrived.
It was the kind of run that made your heart squeeze in a different way — the kind that reminded you of everything fragile about the world.
You were quiet on the way back. Buck noticed.
You knew he did because his eyes found you in the rearview mirror more than once, flickering between the road and the crease between your brows.
Back at the firehouse, everyone scattered.
Hen went to check inventory in the rig, her clipboard in hand and a pencil tucked behind her ear. Eddie was helping Ravi clean out the squad, their laughter drifting faintly through the open bay doors.
Bobby had vanished into his office, probably knee-deep in the usual mountain of paperwork. Chim was in the kitchen, half-singing under his breath as he prepped dinner for the shift.
And Buck?
Buck waited.
He always waited — not in a way that hovered, but in a way that reminded you he’d be there when you were ready.
“Wanna go up?” he asked gently, nudging your elbow.
You didn’t need to ask what he meant.
The rooftop had become your shared place. A quiet, liminal space above the chaos — where the world slowed down just long enough for you both to breathe.
You nodded.
The city stretched around you, a sea of lights blinking to life against the late afternoon haze. Traffic buzzed below like static, and the sky was turning the soft kind of orange that only LA could pull off.
You sat beside Buck, your shoulders brushing, your knees tucked to your chest. For a while, neither of you spoke.
You just leaned into his side, and he draped an arm around you with practiced ease, his hand rubbing small, absent-minded circles into your back.
“I promised,” you finally murmured.
Buck tilted his head, watching you from the corner of his eye.
“Promised what?”
“No secrets. That I’d talk to you.” You swallowed thickly, staring at your fingers. “They texted again. My parents.”
His hand stilled on your back.
You didn’t look at him yet. You weren’t ready for the weight of that gaze.
“They… they’re here. In LA.”
Buck stayed quiet, which somehow gave you the space to keep going.
“I thought they were just passing through. I didn’t want to make it a big deal. I told myself I’d just ignore it. But then they sent this message and said they wanted to talk. That they’d been thinking about me. About everything.”
You laughed — a short, bitter sound.
“And part of me wants to believe it. That maybe people really can change. I mean… look at you. Look at Maddie. Even your parents. They’re trying. The Hans too. And it made me think — if they can change, why can’t mine?”
Buck’s arm pulled you a little closer, his voice quiet.
“Because yours hurt you. Not just once. Not just in passing. But over and over again.”
You turned your face into his chest, the soft fabric of his hoodie muffling your thoughts.
“They hated who I was,” you said.
“Not just what I did — not being a paramedic, not choosing a job where I get to help people every day — but who I was. I liked art. I liked movement. I liked not needing their permission to be myself. And they said it made me selfish. Undisciplined. Unlovable.”
Buck’s hand cradled the back of your head, his thumb brushing gently at your temple.
“You’re not any of those things,” he whispered.
“You’re strong. You’re brave. You’re the best partner I’ve ever had. And the most real person I know.”
You breathed in, grounding yourself in his scent — laundry detergent and smoke and something unshakably him.
“But it still hurts,” you admitted.
“Even after all this time. Even when I tell myself I’ve built a life. That I’m good. That I’m okay now. All it took was one message and suddenly I feel like I’m fifteen again and nothing I do will ever be enough.”
Buck exhaled slowly, resting his cheek against the top of your head.
“You’ve come too far to let them take that from you.”
“But what if they really mean it this time?” you whispered.
“What if they want to make amends? What if I don’t even give them the chance?”
Buck didn’t answer right away. He waited, thoughtful, like he was measuring his words carefully.
“I used to think that too,” he said.
“When I went back to my parents’ house that time… I wanted so badly for it to be different. I wanted them to see me. The version of me I worked so damn hard to become. But the thing is — it’s not about them. It never was.”
You looked up at him slowly, heart pounding in your chest.
“It’s about what you need to feel safe. To feel whole,” he continued. “And you already built that. You don’t need to let them back in to prove you’re healed.”
He brushed your hair behind your ear, his thumb lingering on your jaw.
“But if you do let them back in… do it for you. Not because they suddenly remembered how to be parents.”
That cracked something open in you.
For the first time in hours, you let the tears fall — quiet, cathartic, and honest. Buck didn’t flinch. He just held you tighter, kissed your forehead, and waited with you on that rooftop like he always did.
And in that moment, you knew something with perfect clarity:
You weren’t a teenager anymore.
You weren’t trying to earn love from people who only ever saw you as a reflection of their own regrets.
You had a home now — not in a place, but in people.
In Buck. In Hen. In Bobby. In Chim. In Ravi. In Eddie. In the family you chose at the 118.
And maybe — just maybe — that was more than enough.
At first, it was fine. Or at least, it looked fine.
The meeting with your parents was held in a neutral place — some polished brunch spot on the West Side with cold-pressed juices and overpriced eggs.
They hugged you like they meant it. They said they missed you. They even asked about your job, your friends, your life.
You let yourself hope. Just a little.
But it didn’t take long for the cracks to show.
“You look tired,” your mom said, peering across the table. “Are you still not using concealer?”
A laugh followed, as if she’d just made a joke. You forced a smile.
Later, your dad — swirling his coffee absentmindedly — asked, “So… are you really planning to stay a paramedic forever?”
Your heart dropped like a stone.
“Not that we don’t respect what you do,” he added quickly, as if softening the blow.
“It’s just… there’s more out there. You’re smart. You could still go back to school. Do something that really stretches you.”
You gripped your fork too tight.
“I like what I do,” you answered, steady and restrained. “I help people. Every single day.”
They didn’t argue. But their silence screamed louder than words.
That was the beginning.
The comments didn’t stop. They just evolved — small, needling remarks that made you second-guess the things you’d worked so hard to reclaim.
“You know, if you just dressed a little differently, you'd look even more put together.”
“This haircut is cute, but the last one made your face look slimmer.”
“I still think you’d do well in PR — you’ve always had a nice smile.”
They cloaked it all in faux concern, under the guise of caring. But what they were really doing was trying to remake you into something they could understand.
Someone more acceptable. More palatable. Less you.
You thought you could handle it.
You thought — after everything you’d survived, after years of therapy, after finding love and home in the 118 — that you were immune to their power.
But you weren’t.
Not entirely.
You didn’t tell anyone. Not even Buck.
You kept coming into work with a smile on your face, your uniform pressed, your voice steady. You carried your gear like it weighed nothing, even when your shoulders ached from the stress you weren’t admitting.
But the little things gave you away.
You started zoning out during debriefs — just for a second or two — like your mind had floated somewhere else.
Somewhere darker.
You’d stopped lingering at mirrors in the locker room, dressing quickly, avoiding the impulse to check your reflection.
Even compliments from Hen or Chim started to land wrong — twisting into something warped by the things your parents had said.
And worst of all: you skipped breakfast. Sometimes lunch, too.
You didn’t mean to. You just weren’t hungry. Or maybe you just didn’t want to hear that quiet voice in your head — your mother’s — telling you to be careful about portion sizes.
Buck noticed.
Of course he did.
He noticed how your uniform hung differently. How your laugh didn’t reach your eyes. How you hadn’t touched your smoothie after a call and shrugged it off with “I’m just tired.”
He watched you push food around your plate at dinner. Watched you duck out of team photos when Bobby tried to snap one for the wall. Watched you smile through gritted teeth like your jaw was wired shut.
And Buck — for all his light and warmth — knew darkness when he saw it.
One night, after a long shift, he waited until everyone had gone. You were packing your things in the locker room when he leaned against the doorway, arms crossed, face unreadable.
“You ever gonna tell me what’s really going on?”
You froze.
“Because I know you,” he continued softly. “And you’re slipping.”
You turned around slowly, blinking too fast.
“I’m fine, Buck.”
“No, you’re not,” he said, moving toward you.
“You haven’t been fine for weeks. You barely eat, you’re constantly somewhere else in your head, and you flinch when anyone compliments you. That’s not you. That’s not the you I know.”
You swallowed hard, looking at the floor.
“I didn’t want to make it real,” you admitted. “I thought… if I didn’t talk about it, it wouldn’t stick.”
Buck’s hands found your shoulders, gentle and grounding.
“Talk to me. Please.”
And that was when the dam broke.
You told him everything — about the comments, the small jabs, the way your parents had managed to reopen wounds you thought were healed.
You told him about the fear creeping in, how you’d started second-guessing the body you’d learned to love, the career you were proud of, the face you saw in the mirror.
“I fought so hard to feel okay again,” you whispered. “And now I feel like I’m back at square one.”
Buck shook his head and pulled you into his arms, cradling your head against his chest like he could shield you from it all.
“You’re not back at square one,” he said.
“You’re not that person anymore. You’re stronger now. But even strong people break a little when the right people push the wrong buttons.”
You let yourself sink into him, into the warmth, into the truth of his words.
“They don’t get to take this from you,” Buck said, voice low.
“Not your peace. Not your joy. Not the life you built for yourself. Because you built it with your own hands. You didn’t wait for anyone’s permission — not theirs, not mine, not anyone’s.”
You nodded into his chest, your tears soaking the fabric.
And he held you, quietly and completely, until the shaking stopped.
From up here, at the firehouse rooftop, the hum of L.A. traffic was just white noise — distant, forgettable.
You were wrapped in Buck’s arms, your head resting against his chest, his hoodie warm against your cheek.
The call earlier had shaken you a bit — not because of the trauma or the chaos, but because you'd caught your own reflection in the fire truck window, and for a second, all you saw was her.
Your mother’s voice echoing in your ears: you’d look so much prettier if you just fixed your posture.
You thought maybe saying it out loud would break the spell. So you did.
And Buck just… listened.
Now, he shifted, his hand gently stroking your back, voice low and steady.
“You know,” he began, “I spent a long time trying to be what my parents needed.”
You blinked up at him, and he was staring out at the skyline — not avoiding you, just thinking. Peeling open old scars.
“I was the ‘fix-it’ kid. If something was wrong, I’d jump in. Be the distraction, the helper, the good one.” He let out a short, mirthless laugh.
“Didn’t matter how much I gave. It was never enough.”
You watched him carefully, feeling your chest ache for the boy he once was.
“They didn’t see me, not really. Not until Maddie left, and even then… it was like I only existed through what I could do for them. Not who I actually was.”
His voice softened, eyes flicking back to yours.
“You’re not alone in this.”
Tears threatened again, but you bit them back.
“I thought they changed,” you whispered. “I thought maybe… maybe if I let them in, they’d see me now — the real me. Not the one they wanted me to be.”
Buck nodded.
“That hope? I know it too well. But Y/N… healing isn’t about letting the people who broke you walk back in just because they might be better now.”
He took your hand, threading his fingers through yours.
“You don’t owe them another piece of yourself. Not after everything you’ve done to become you.”
You looked at him, really looked — and saw not just the man who loved you, but the one who had clawed his way out of the same kind of shadow.
“The 118 — Hen, Chim, Bobby, Eddie… they see you,” he continued. “They respect you. They love you. Hell, I love you.”
You let out a shaky breath, and Buck cupped your cheek with his free hand.
“You built a life from the ground up. You stood in fire and didn’t flinch. If your parents can’t see that? That’s not on you.”
Silence settled around you again, the kind that didn’t need filling.
And for the first time in weeks, your shoulders relaxed.
Because Buck was right.
Your family wasn’t something you were born into. It was something you chose.
And the 118 — this loud, messy, brave, wonderful crew — had chosen you back.
Every single time.
It was their last night in L.A.
You sat across the dinner table from your parents in a sleek West Hollywood restaurant — the kind they would’ve approved of, with overpriced salads and polished silverware.
You’d even worn something nice, soft makeup, hair tucked back just the way your mother always said looked “less messy.”
And yet, nothing you did ever seemed to be enough.
They were smiling — that brittle, curated smile they wore in public. They made small talk about your “little job” and asked again if you'd considered going back to school, becoming a doctor like you “originally said you would” when you were fifteen.
You tried to laugh it off, to steer the conversation away.
But then came the line.
Your mother, wine glass in hand, leaned across the table with a too-sweet smile and said,
“You’re too beautiful to hide behind that uniform forever, sweetheart. You could be something more — if you just tried.”
That was the final crack.
Your chest tightened, your fingers clenched around your water glass, and all the work — all the healing, the therapy, the hours at Station 118 saving lives and rebuilding your confidence — it all teetered on a ledge.
“Do you even hear yourselves?” you said, quietly at first.
Your father looked up, startled. Your mother blinked, taken aback.
“I’ve been doing everything I can to build a life — my life — and all you see is who I’m not.”
Your voice wavered, but you didn’t stop.
“You wanted me to be a doctor. Or a businesswoman. You hated that I loved art, that I found purpose in helping people. You hated the way I looked, dressed, existed. And now, you come to L.A. for three days and want to shape me all over again?”
Silence fell over the table.
“I’m not going to dinner with you again,” you said.
“This… is the last one.”
Your mother’s mouth opened to object, but you were already rising to your feet, grabbing your coat.
“I have a family. A real one. One that sees me. I’m not throwing that away just to be palatable to you.”
And then you called an Uber, knowing your parents would take your car anyway because that’s how much they disrespected you.
You didn’t cry until you reached Buck’s apartment.
He didn’t ask any questions. He just opened the door, took one look at your face, and pulled you into his arms.
You sobbed into his hoodie, fists clinging to the fabric, your knees nearly buckling with the weight of years of resentment and grief. He held you through it — no words, no pressure.
Just presence. Just Buck. Your Buck.
Eventually, you ended up outside — sitting in the back of his jeep at the beach, wrapped in one of his flannel shirts, your head leaning on his shoulder as the night breeze swept around you.
Your voice was hoarse when you finally spoke.
“I’ve spent so long trying to be who they wanted. I didn’t realize I’ve already become someone I’m proud of.”
Buck turned his head toward you, his fingers lacing with yours.
“I’ve always been proud of you,” he said, with that soft kind of certainty only Buck had when it really mattered.
“Even when you didn’t see it. Even when you were still hiding parts of yourself.”
You sniffled, leaning into him more.
“They were supposed to love me unconditionally.”
“They didn’t,” Buck said gently. “But we do.”
The next morning at the firehouse, you told Bobby everything.
You expected a lecture, maybe a reminder to show grace — but instead, Bobby reached out and placed a steady hand on your shoulder.
“Family doesn’t come with conditions. You’re one of us. And we’re not going anywhere.”
Hen brought you coffee. Chim cracked a terrible joke that made you laugh through your puffy eyes. Eddie gave you that silent nod of solidarity he only reserved for moments that mattered. Ravi slipped you a cookie from the pantry with a wink.
Evan Buckley never thought he’d be good at this. He wanted it with all his heart but he was never too certain that he’d be good at it.
He stood in the cramped hospital room, hands shoved into the pockets of his jeans. He was processing everything that had happened in the past hour but his eyes were steady. He was still staring at the tiny human bundled up in the striped pink and blue outfit.
He had held the baby when she was first born, celebrating and thanking his wife for everything she dealt with to give him the gift of life.
“Are you gonna come see your kid up close again?” His wife asked exhausted, back against too many pillows for it to actually be comfortable.
Your kid was all he heard. It was his kid. The bundle in the girl's arms was his kid. The little baby was going home with him. He shuffled closer to the bed slowly, he didn’t want to take a chance at disrupting how peaceful the universe felt. The baby's face was scrunched up, non-existent eyebrows furrowed like this wasn’t her first time in the universe.
“She looks annoyed.” He said, staring at the bundle of love in the arms of the one he loves.
“She’s been dealing with our bad singing for 9 months.” He let out a little laugh at that. Hearing that sound the baby’s hand shot up, tiny fist curling into her cheek. His chest was already cracked open, but seeing that opened it more.
“This is-” He fumbled for his words. “She’s real.”
“Yeah, she’s been for a while now.”
“But she's mine.” He sat on the edge of the bed. “She's real and she’s mine.” He reached out and let a finger brush on her cheek. He went silent for a second, the bravado slipping, his confidence gone. All that was left was the scared version of him that wasn’t sure if he’d be a good father.
“You okay?” His wife asked after watching his face change.
“I want her to like me.” He met her eyes. “I don’t want to screw her up. I don’t want her to turn into what I was.”
“Oh baby.” Her tears welled instantly. “You are not your parents. But more importantly you said it yourself. Was. You no longer are, that’s in the past. That Buck gave me an amazing husband.”
“What if I’m not good at this?” The baby answered him this time. She made a small sound, like a sigh and her hand found his fingers.
“You already are.” She switched how she was holding the baby so Buck could hold her. He wanted to protest, fear of hurting her or ruining her but he also wanted to hold his baby girl. Almost immediately she relaxed into his chest, still grabbing his finger.
“She likes me.”
“Congrats. You are her father.” She laughed dryly.
The same way your kid stuck with him, her father got him even worse. It was his turn for the tears to come back to his eyes. Proud, terrified, grounded. Evan looked down at his daughter. At how her eyes were peacefully closed, her chest rising and falling.
“This is my daughter.” He said out loud. That found word sentence held so many emotions and promises, but to him the biggest promise was simple. She’d never have to worry about if she was loved like he had.
Prompt - ‘In another life, I would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with you.’
Bucky Barnes was nothing if not a man who felt too much. He’d fight fiercely for those he loved, he’d make an idiot of himself to get the attention of the woman he loved. He let himself get knocked around if it meant he could catch a glimpse of her scowl that he’d always manage to turn into a smile.
“Seriously, Barnes?” You groan as you walk into the medical tent, seeing the familiar sight of James Barnes on one of your beds.
“It wasn’t my fault this time!” He lied, watching as you shook your head but there was a fondness to it.
Bucky could read you like his most favourite book at this point. You’d been appointed to 107th to join their medical team and it didn’t take long to capture the attention of the Sergeant. He had fallen for you in that first meeting, watching you boss around men twice the size of you, putting them into place without fear, putting him in his place when he tried to play off a pair of broken ribs as nothing.
Since then Bucky had done anything to be around you, he’d had his nose nearly broken, he’d fractured his wrist, he’d faked more stomach bugs than he could count. You didn’t buy any of them, you never did and yet you still let him take up one of the beds in the medical tent for hours on end.
“We both know that’s bullshit.” You called him out and he didn’t even try and look guilty anymore, instead he shot you a bright grin and shrugged in a what can you do way causing you to roll your eyes though there was no heat in the gesture. “What is it this time?”
His smile widened impossibly as he lifted his shirt up, noticing the way your eyes took in the sight appreciatively before they widened at the cut across his torso, a blood soaked rag falling down as he lifted his shirt.
“You’re a real piece of work, Barnes, you know that?” You asked, starting to gather your supplies before sitting next to Bucky, the grin still firmly in place, slightly more smug now that he’d seen you take him in.
“Don’t deny it, doll, you love me patching me up.” Bucky said confidently, knowing that you could have demanded one of the other nurses deal with him if you really didn’t like him.
“There’s better ways to get my attention, no need to go get yourself all cut up on my behalf.” You told him, watching as his eyes widened slightly and a smirk pulled at his lips. “Ready?”
“For you, doll, always.” He smirked and you groaned again causing him to laugh, though it was quickly silenced as you pushed the needle through his skin, slowly patching up the wound and letting Bucky fill the silence, fighting back a blush as he spoke.
“There’s my most favourite nurse!” Bucky called as he stumbled into the med tent, leaning heavily against another soldier, his skin pale and sweaty.
“What happened?” You ask straight away, gesturing for the soldier to put Bucky on the bed closest to you as you get to watch stripping the uniform of the man and frowning at the amount of blood pouring from two wounds on his stomach.
“He got shot, ma’am.” The soldier answered and your frown deepened, looking up at Bucky who’s eyes were half lidded but he was still grinning at you, apparently no injury was bad enough to wipe that damn grin off his face.
“‘M fine, Y/N.” He tried to assure you, seeing the frown between your eyebrows deepen and you could help but let out a soft huff of laughter, moving to get some needles, tweezers, gauze, pads and everything else you need.
“Told you there’s better ways to get my attention, didn’t mean go and get yourself shot, Buck.” You say softly, sitting next to him and cleaning the blood, checking him over and seeing both wounds were clean through, good no need to go digging for bullets.
“Shit, doll, you’re calling me by name. My dying?” He asked, slurring the words out and your heart ached at the slight tremor in his voice.
“Come on, it’s me we're talking about. You really think I'm about to let you die?” You ask him, forcing a smile onto your face and looking up at him assuringly before focusing on the worst of the two wounds.
“Better not let me die, Y/N/N, gotta take my girl out on a date.” He breathed out, looking at you so softly, groaning when you pressed down on his wound. “Fuck, doll.”
“Your girl, huh?” You shushed him softly, keeping him talking, needing him to stay alert for your own sanity more than anything.
You took a deep breath, knowing you needed to stay calm in order to make sure Bucky got through this, to make sure he didn’t lose any more blood than he had. You needed to push aside your feelings aside and focus on the patient.
Even if that patient was Bucky Barnes.
“Best girl around.” Bucky slurred out, a choked laugh escaping him and you let yourself smile. “Fixes me up all the damn time, even though she knows I’m an idiot.”
“You certainly are an idiot.” You agree easily, watching as he glares at you, a dazed smile still firmly in place.
You had cleaned the wound well enough that the blood had stopped pouring from it and focused on patching it up, keeping Bucky talking the whole time, even as he winced and flinched, his eyes falling shut.
You were fine so long as he kept talking.
The second gunshot wound was much easier to patch up, you had it cleaned and packed quickly and once they were both dealt with you sat back heavily, looking at Bucky’s face, watching as he forced his eyes open and looked at you drained.
“All done, doll?” He asked, voice thick with tiredness and you smiled softly at him, eyes stinging slightly as you swallowed around the lump in your throat.
“All done, soldier. Get some rest.” You told him, your own voice thick with emotion and you stood up, needing a minute to yourself, eyes watering but a hand on your wrist stopped you from leaving.
“Stay, doll?” Bucky asked softly and you couldn’t bring yourself to say no, a single tear slipping down your cheek as you turned around and sat back down, Bucky forcing his heavy eyes open and frowning at you. “M’alright.”
You nodded, you knew he was, you were the one to patch him up and yet you felt like you couldn’t catch your breath now that you were done. Bucky practically lived in the med tent, you were used to him being hurt, used to fixing up his many injuries. This one was different though, this one was serious.
You’d never really had Bucky in your med bay because he needed saving. There were so many factors that could have changed the outcome, if the gunshots had caught Bucky a bit to the right it could have caused damage you couldn’t have fixed, if it had taken them any longer to get Bucky to you he could have lost too much blood. It was the first time you’d had Bucky in serious danger.
It’s not like you were stupid, you knew who he was, what his job was but when it was just the two of you it was easy to forget there was a war going on outside, easy to forget that seriousness of his job.
“You’re alright.” You breathed out, another few tears making their way down your cheek and Bucky reached down, threading his fingers with yours and bringing them up to his lips, pressing a soft kiss to the back of your hand, his eyes closed. “Sleep, Buck.”
Bucky nodded, following the command easily.
After that day you let yourself give into Bucky’s flirting, giving it back just as quickly as he gave it, realising it could all be snatched from you all too soon.
It was a few weeks later, you and Bucky had practically been inseparable. All his free time had been spent with you in the med bay and he savoured each moment he got with you, his little piece of heaven during the war.
You frowned as you walked towards the med bay, hearing one of the nurses raise her voice. It wasn’t entirely uncommon, most of the soldiers looked down at a woman doing a job, sometimes it was called for but when you stepped closer your eyes widened when you heard Bucky.
“Sergeant Barnes-” The nurse tried again but Bucky cut her off.
“No! I want Y/N.” Bucky demanded, like the med tent was the sort of place to be making demands.
You rolled your eyes stepping into the tent, Bucky not noticing you but the nurse's face filled with relief as she saw you before glaring at Bucky.
“You know,” You say, causing Bucky’s head to snap over to you, your eyes immediately going to the trail of blood falling from his temple. “When your head’s bleeding, people usually aren’t picky about what nurse they have.”
“What can I say? I have my favourite nurse, no point ending up in this place if I don’t get to see my girl.” Bucky grinned at you and you rolled your eyes though there was a fondness you couldn’t deny and you nodded at the other nurse, taking over.
“What happened this time?” You asked, holding a damp rag against the wound.
“Cut my head jumping out of the way of a bullet.” Bucky told you and you sighed, pulling the rag away and seeing the blood had already begun to slow. “Hey, when are you finally gonna let me take you out?”
Bucky had been asking you out ever since he got shot and each time you never gave him a real answer because how could you? There was a war happening, even with his free time he couldn’t just leave to go on a date with you.
“Come find me when you’ve won the war.” You finally told him, watching a blinding grin spread across his face, eyes lighting up as he nodded.
“Doll, I’m gonna marry you once the war’s won.” He swore and the way he said it, you had no choice but to believe he would, you weren’t complaining, the rest of your life with Bucky Barnes seemed like a pretty good life.
“You promise?” You grin back at him, the man unable to help himself, pulling you closer to stand between his legs and closing the distance between you, his fingers tangling in your hair as he tilted your face up to his, his gaze intense, before his lips claimed yours in a fierce, passionate kiss full of promise of a future. You couldn’t help but gasp at the sudden intensity, your hands clutching at his shirt. The world around you faded away as you both lost yourselves in each other, the kiss leaving you both breathless.
“I promise. I’m gonna marry you when this is all over.” He promised and rested his forehead against yours. “On my life, we’re gonna spend the rest of our lives together.”
You hear the tent open and turn around from where you stood sorting through your supplies, rolling your eyes but not stopping the grin that spreads across your face.
“Here comes trouble.” You say to yourself, loud enough for Bucky to hear and he just grins back at you, sitting himself on the closest bed to you. “What is it this time then?”
“Oh nurse Y/N, you gotta help me.” Bucky groans, clutching his heart. “My heart is hurting so bad, think I’m having withdrawals from seeing my best girl, think you gotta cure for that?”
“You’re an idiot.” You laughed at him, swatting him with a rag before going back to organising your supplies, knowing the men were heading into another battle and you’d need everything ready for when they came back.
“Come on, doll.” He pouted dramatically over at you, jumping from the bed and turning you to face him. “A kiss for good luck?”
You rolled your eyes again, something you did a lot in the presence of James Barnes but couldn’t help but smile up at him. Bucky smiled down at you, his hand coming up to cup your cheek in his hand, delicately running his thumb across your cheek bone before he guided you up to him, meeting you halfway and then his lips found yours, gently at first. Slowly, he deepened the kiss, becoming more passionate as he pulled you impossibly closer, his other hand moving to the small of your back and you couldn’t help but melt into him, arms wrapping around his neck, a soft sigh escaping your lips.
“Come back to me, soldier.” You told him when the two of you finally pulled away, foreheads resting against each other.
“I got promises to keep, doll, course I’m coming back.” He said, watching as you blushed at the reminder of his promises.
Bucky stole another handful of kisses before one of the men came in, telling him he had to leave.
“See you soon, gorgeous.” He grinned, pressing one more breathtaking kiss to your lips before running out of the med tent and you sat on one of the beds, watching the spot where he had stood, smiling like a fool in love but you couldn’t deny that’s what you were.
Too much time passed, not enough information was given. You paced holes in the med tent floor, he should be back by now. Something was wrong, there were whispers but nobody would tell you anything, everything was on a need to know basis and it was driving you mad.
It had been well over a week since Bucky left and the ache in your chest grew as more and more days passed without a single word.
When the med bay tent opened your head shot round, there were dark circles under your eyes, your hair was a mess from the amount of times you’d ran your hands through it. You shook your head when you saw the commanding officer step into your tent.
“Don't.” You said firmly, eyes already filling with tears and the man frowned, a grim look on his face.
“Nurse Y/LN,” He started and you shook your head, “I regret to inform you that Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes is missing in action and after our best efforts to identify the location of him and the 107th, we believe he has died in the line of duty. I know this must be difficult news to hear, but please know that you have the full support of the military and all available resources to assist you during this difficult time."
You felt your legs give out, hitting the floor and sobs wracked your body, the choking feeling you got seeing Bucky shot coming back in full force, head shaking as you pleaded with any god that would listen to bring him back.
The commanding officer left, leaving you a sobbing mess on the floor.
“He promised.” You choked out to nobody. “He was meant to marry me.”
You stayed there for a long while, crying for hours for the loss of what could have been. It would have been amazing, a lifetime with James Barnes and now, now you had to miss him for longer than you had known him.
Maybe in another life he came back to you, maybe in another life the war was won and he came back to you, swept you up in his arms and kept every promise he ever made. Maybe in another life, you had lazy mornings in bed, in another life you did the mundane stuff like taxes and laundry together.
a/n: My God, I can't believe it's taken me over a year to get back. I missed this place so much. It's been an intense, crazy year. I finally got my dream job at the best hospital in Latin America. I'm so happy, but at the same time it's demanded everything of me, working long shifts almost every day, but its the price I have to pay. I hope you like this one, it was based on the song Death Wish Love by Benson Boone, which as soon as I heard it I immediately imagined something with our dear Buck. I confess I thought I'd do something angsty, but I don't think I have that capacity, he already suffers so much that I just wanted him to have a happy ending this time.
Masterlist
................................
You were the new firefighter in 118, and also new to the city. In order to follow your dreams, you left your hometown with everyone and everything you knew. You craved for bigger things, you wanted the big city, you wanted Los Angeles.
The team welcomed you with open arms, which was unusual to you. You weren’t used to this or neither known by your affectionate gestures, but apparently everything was an excuse for a hug at the station. It was a bit hard to get used to all this affection, especially when you came from a place where you were always by yourself.
That was one of the main reasons you became a firefighter, you have walked through fire every single day of your life, why not make it your profession?
You were a source of curiosity between the team, always so quiet and so resistant to everyone's affection. It was hard to win you over. Especially because you had a rather difficult personality, you were fearless at work, you weren't afraid to go into the fire to save lives, you did it without thinking twice.
To Bobby you were a cause of concern, and sometimes the reason why he was having trouble sleeping. He knew this personality very well. It was the same one he had struggled for years to learn to deal with, the one he had to fight with so many times, he was very familiar with this death wish love, it was the same as Buck’s.
The blue-eyed man on the other side, couldn't understand why he couldn't take his eyes off you. Ever since you arrived a few months ago, your image has been running through Buck’s mind. You've become a challenge for him. But not in a bad way, he wanted to get to know you, he wanted to understand you. But you didn't make things any easier for him, especially when today was the first time he'd seen you laugh.
"You're drooling" he snapped back to reality when he heard Eddie mocking next to him.
"Shut up" Buck said, turning his gaze back to you playing with his niece.
You had a beauty he couldn't explain, an angelic one. You had this steely gaze and looking at you felt like suicide. He would fall to his knees if you asked him to. How could someone so delicate also be so dangerous?
The way you were reluctant to follow Bobby's orders, you'd walk into the fire without a second thought. You would take risks without thinking about your own safety, just thinking about everyone else. He saw how hard you worked, he saw how mad Bobby got when he ordered the building to be evacuated and you were always the last one to leave. You were intriguing and he was fascinated.
It was so strange for you. Being in Maddie's living room, with everyone gathered together like a big family, laughing and telling funny stories. The team met once a week, with all the families together, the children running around the living room, the smell of food in the air, the voices, the laughter.
You accepted the invitation after a few months of refusing, and now you spent the week looking forward to the moment when you would be together again.
Sometimes when you got home from a meeting, you cried. You cried because you never had that, you never had anyone who cared about you. You were an unexpected pregnancy, your parents didn't planned you, they didn't want you and that was never a secret to anyone.
And that's why you were surprised when one day you arrived early at the station and Hen had a cake for you that you had once said reminded of what your grandmother used to bake.
Or when another one Eddie handed you a drawing that Chris made specifically for you. Of the two of you playing together.
Or when Maddie sent you, through Chim, the cookies you said you loved one day while you were having coffee together.
Or when Bobby invited you to have lunch with him and Athena on a Sunday ‘cause he knew you were going to do it alone.
Or when Buck gave you a book he'd heard you say was your favorite during a conversation.
*
It was mid-afternoon on a Sunday. Your hands were shaking, your heart pounding. The words your father had once spoken echoed in your mind. "You will never be loved". But you were at a table with 118's entire family, and you felt loved. Maddie told you about the gossip from her work. Karen hugged you from the side every time you passed by her. Hen included you in every conversation. Athena calmly answered all the questions you were curious about her work. So why did you feel like an imposter? Why was your father's voice echoing inside your head? Why were you on the verge of an anxiety attack?
"I'll be right back" you muttered to the girls, but you realized how shaky your voice sounded. You were pathetic.
You barely made it to the bathroom, your legs buckled and you sat down in the corner of the room. You could hardly breathe, it was hard to pull in the air. Tears streamed down your face. Your heart was racing. Your hands were shaking.
You heard your voice being called from outside. Damn. You couldn't calm down, your hand was on your chest as if it could make the pain go away.
"Hey, hey. I'm here. Calm down, I’ve got you" it was Buck.
His voice was just a whisper in your ear. You let a sob escape your lips. Pathetic. You felt his arms around you, until you were all wrapped up in his arms. Why was he doing that? Why did he care?
He stayed there until you stopped crying. You were still in his arms, and it was so warm, so safe. Sighs came from your lips, and you couldn't imagine what a mess Buck's head and heart were in. He wanted you in his arms, not just now.
"I'm sorry," you whispered and tried to pull away, but he wouldn't let you, so you stayed.
"You don't have to talk about what's going on in there, but the day you feel like you need a hug to cry into, you've got mine" your eyes filled with tears again. "And don't ever apologize for it"
*
The smiles on your lips were becoming constant. And it was Buck's favorite image. You were letting people through your armor, you were letting your guard down, and it felt good. You now baked pies and cakes for the station on your days off, recipes learned from the girls after a few long afternoons of chatting and coffee.
Your laughter was contagious, and the boys would always crack little jokes to get them out of you.
Your eyes were now looking out for a pair of blue ones, all the time, everywhere. Eyes that were always looking back at you. Your hands were always looking for an excuse to bump into Buck's, just to feel that shiver run down your spine every time. And he would find any reason to text you, until the excuses became routine. You woke up every day with a good morning message and went to bed with a good night one. The little touches now became big gestures, Buck loved to brush your hair out of your face and tuck them behind your ear. And you loved to run your hand over the birthmark above his eye. You loved when his warm lips traveled up your neck to your lips. You loved when his hands ran over your body always so slowly and so gently, bringing goosebumps wherever they went. You loved making love with him. How he worshiped your body, how much he worshiped you. The way he made you feel loved.
You had a hold on Buck, and you didn't even know it. He had become attached to you, attached to the idea of having you by his side. The nights with you were the ones he could truly rest in, the mornings where he woke up to your soft kisses on his face, were the ones he would keep forever in his mind.
But he could feel that you were still resisting his feelings, and he was terrified of losing you. Buck was in love with you. It took months for him to realize that, but he did it. He loved you.
But one thing has never changed. And as Buck followed the loud murmurs coming from Bobby’s office, where he knew you were at, he kept in mind the danger you were in at every call. He couldn't lose you.
"Hey, what happe-" he couldn't finish the sentence when he saw you walking out the door, since you brushed past him, bumping into his shoulder, without even looking him in the face.
Buck made his way to the room, where he saw his captain wiping his hands across his face, letting out an exhausted sigh.
"She'll end up dead if she keep acting like this, Buck"
"I know"
"After the last call, if she doesn't change her behavior, I'll be forced to suspend her."
"I know."
Buck couldn't lose you.
You couldn't talk to Buck yet, you were so nervous after your conversation with Bobby. You were trying your best, how could he tell you that you had a death wish love? You were saving lives, and it didn't matter if it cost you your own. You didn't care.
A new call ecoed through the station. It was something big. A fire in a shed. People were working at the time, so there were many likely victims. You were anxious, just as you were before any call, but you were ready for it. You were born ready.
"Be careful," Buck told you before you got off the truck and you nodded. You were always careful "I love you"
You turned surprised to Buck, you'd never said that to each other before. It disconcerted you.
"Buck, I-"
Before you could say anything, you heard Bobby calling you to give instructions and you had to run.
I love you.
The words echoed in your head as you entered the burning building. No one had ever said that to you. You didn't even know the weight those words carried.
"Sir, follow this path and the fireman will take you to the exit."
It was so hot. You'd already lost count of how many people you'd pulled out of the line of fire. Your head was heavy. It was getting hard to breathe.
"Evacuate the building now," you could hear Cap saying over the radio. Everyone agreed and gave their location. You were about to respond when you heard something.
It was a call for help.
You could have sworn it was a call for help.
"Captain, I'm in the east side, I hear someone screaming for help. I'm close, I can get them out"
"Negative, the building will collapse at any moment. Get out immediately"
Your vision was blurred.
I love you.
You couldn't go out and leave those people to die, so you went ahead. The way to the door was difficult, there was a lot of rubble, and when you opened it, you froze in place.
It was empty. The fire danced in front of you, mocking you. But the cries for help... you've never been so wrong before.
I love you.
“It’s empty” you murmured at the radio.
Bobby was shouting your name from the other end of the radio. You turned around, but it was so hard to breathe. You tried to find your way back, but everything was spinning. Buck was now calling your name.
I love you.
His words were running through your head. Your steps were now slow. The way out, you couldn't find the way out. You could hear the fire laughing at you. Stupid. Pathetic. You heard an explosion behind you, and it threw you off balance, bringing you to the ground. You'd been walking through fire all your life, and now it would finally take its place back. Your siren buzzed in your ears. That would be the end of you.
I love you too, Buck.
The moment Buck came out of the building and didn't see you outside, he tried to go back. But hands held him in place.
This couldn't be happening. No, no.
Bobby called your name on the radio and you didn't answer. It's empty. That was the last answer they got. You weren't answering. An explosion. On the east side, where you were.
Buck's knees gave way, and he went down. All eyes were on the exit of the building waiting for you, waiting for a miracle. But it never came.
Buck screamed, and he would scream until his lungs gave up.
Time seemed to stop. Buck's screams were the only noise to be heard. And another explosion. Tears rolled down trough some faces. No one could believe it. This couldn't be happening.
Buck couldn't lose you like this.
"We found her" some voice echoed over the radio.
Buck's heart could stop any second now.
But the building was collapsing.
He broke free from his friends and ran into the building, dodging all the fallen and burnt obstacles, and he saw you. You were in the arms of a fireman. He ran up to you and carried you out of the building. As soon as you stepped onto the sidewalk, the building collapsed. Buck held you in his arms with all his strength and ran, feeling the debris fly past you.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry" was the first thing that came out of your lips when he put you on the stretcher and he shut you up, pressing his lips to yours.
Buck analyzed each of your wounds alongside Hen and Chim and you could see the tears streaming down Buck's face, the ones that were also streaming down your own.
You were still struggling to breathe, every inch of your body ached, and you felt on the verge of losing consciousness. Until you succumbed to the darkness that was calling your name.
*
You woke up a few hours later in hospital. Your hands were being squeezed and you could feel something wet running down over them. Tears.
Buck had his face in your hands, he had never felt so afraid before. And when he heard your voice calling him, it was as if he could finally breathe.
"I'm sorry, Buck, I-I don't know what happened-"
"I almost lost you today"
Your heart broke into a million pieces. You did this to him, your recklessness, your impulsive behavior. It was your fault.
"I'm sorry"
Tears were now streaming down your face and he moved closer, running his hands gently down your cheeks.
Rating: PG-13 ~ For fluff and cuteness, but more adult commentary or even some triggering content.
Edited: Yes
Word count: 5,635
Post Date & Time: June 6th 2024 at 12:31 AM
Ko-fi
Masterlist
Warnings here
You can listen to the story be read out loud here.
Summary: {Based off of S6 E18 Pay it Forward} When a series of freeway accidents lead to a big catastrophe, Buck must worry for his team as he rushes to help them all before it only leads to an even bigger disaster. All while working on helping his team he worries mostly for his best friend who’s unconscious for most of it.
Buck’s Pov:
We watch the van as it shifts for a few minutes before it starts to wiggle out of its spot.
“Get back! Get back!” I yell out to everyone and soon everybody rushes to get out of the way.
Hen groans as me and Eddie quickly push her away. The van now starts to roll and it rolls a full 360 before landing on the ground, making dust fly up around all of us as we all duck for cover. When we are clear of anything hitting us, me, Eddie and Hen all stop to turn and look at it. The ambulance shifts around now that the van isn’t holding it up and it’s only held by the rope I had tied to it. We all helplessly watch as the back doors fly open and Chimney comes flying out. He quickly grabs onto the back of it and hangs there, trying not to let go.
“Chim!” Hen screams out in fear as she and Eddie take a step forward.
“Hey, Chim! Chim, hang on!” I quickly call out from behind Hen and Eddie as I race back to the wreckage.
“Hang on! Hang on, Chim,” I call out as I run through all the dust and cars.
I quickly climb back up to where he is and I can hear him groaning as I do. He continues to hold onto the back of the ambulance as I grab the rope beside him and quickly jump over to him.
“I got him. I got him,” I call out when I’m with him.
I grab onto him and together we both climb to the side and away from the ambulance. Slowly, I start to scale down with him as he continues to groan out in pain. Soon we make it to the bottom and we turn around when we hear more sirens from other trucks. Chimney and I both sigh out in relief at the sound.
“Dispatch. I’ve got firefighter Han, going back for firefighter Maysen now,” I use my radio to let Maddie know Chimney is okay.
“Copy that,” Maddie replies over the radio, making me and Chimney smile at each other.
“I got him! Come on!” I yell out as I pick him up and rush him over to the other paramedics.
“All right. Let us though,” the other paramedics call out as they meet us in the middle with a gurney that I set Chimney on.
“I think we’re gonna need a new gurney,” Chimney jokes as Hen comes up next to him.
We all laugh as Hen and the others quickly assess him and get his wound wrapped up. He turns to me and pushes my hand away.
“Go get her. I’ve got Hen. Firecracker needs her best friend. Go,” he tells me and I smile at the nickname all of us use for her.
“Okay,” I finally agree, nodding before quickly heading back for the rope again.
“Ravi, I’m going to need you to send down the band saw once I get to y/n. Can you do that?” I ask into my radio and pause as I continue to climb.
“Yeah. You got it. Just let me know when,” he replies over the radio.
I climb for a few more minutes before getting closer to the slab. I go to pull myself up onto it, but it shifts so I stop for a moment. Once it settles, I try again more carefully and finally I’m right next to y/n. I stay on my knees in hopes of not being too much weight and take in a deep breath at how bad it actually is. Once I’m more calm, I start to move the ruble away from her.
“Ok, Ravi, send the bandsaw down,” I command through my radio.
It takes a few minutes, but soon the bandsaw that’s connected to a rope is next to me. I quickly grab it and start to saw the rebar as close as I can to the cement underneath her.
“Hen, do I pull her off or do I keep her attached?” I ask through my radio.
“Is there a lot of blood?” she asks me back though the radio and I gulp before pressing down on the button again.
“There’s a fair amount,” I push out my words as my throat starts to feel tighter.
“Then yes, keep her connected. They’ll have to remove it at the hospital,” she replies through the radio again and I nod even though she can’t see me.
I quickly saw as fast as possible while trying to keep it away from her skin. It takes a good few minutes of sawing back and forth at the rebar, but soon it comes apart. I can’t help but be thankful that the rebar wasn’t incredibly thick. With one last sigh, I throw the saw aside before gently moving her to the best position that I can.
Next, I jump lightly off the slab while a couple other firefighters from the 256 come over. They take her from me as I carefully try to move her down by myself, cooing softly into her ear that I’m here with her and that she’ll be okay. After finally getting down, they place her on a gurney and I follow as they wheel her over next to Chimney.
“Hey. You got her. How’s she doing?” Chimney asks as he lolls his head to the side to look at her.
“I don’t know. She’s lost a lot of blood…” I inform him as I watch the other paramedics work on her and prepare her to be transferred.
“This is Sargent Athena Grant. To anyone on scene. I have captain Nash of the 118 and a civilian. We’re trapped in the container at the bottom of the collapse,” comes Athena’s voice over the radio and we all pause to listen.
“He’s pinned. We’re in need of an assist with extraction,” she continues to explain and Chimney sits up, ready to help.
“No, Chim. Chim, stay,” I tell him, pointing at him as I start to head over while Hen and Eddie push him back down.
Eddie, Hen and I rush over as I call out for Bobby. We quickly look around for any way in and I climb a bit to get a better idea of what needs to be done.
“Hen, the door is completely blocked by debris,” Eddie voices to us as he leans against the container.
“Dispatch? Dispatch, we’re gonna need heavy rescue on the lower level of the interchange. There’s no way we’re going to be able to move all this debris,” Hen speaks into her radio while Eddie tries pushing on the doors.
We keep looking for a way in, but keep finding none. I climb back down and we keep trying, but still nothing seems to work.
“118, be advised. Caltrans crew is on site, prepared to assist,” Maddie’s voice comes over the radio and we all stop to look around.
Soon the crane drives over and I quickly reach out for some chains that were brought over. I loop the chains though whatever I can before the crane hooks come down. Once they get closer, I reach up and grab onto the first one I can reach and click it onto the chains.
“Yeah. Okay, up, up, up! Go, go, go!” I yell out as I motion for the driver to go up.
He does it and soon the slab of concrete debris is moving. I’m the first to rush in as it falls to the ground behind me and I open the door to the container with Ravi’s help. We immediately find them and with the civilian's help, Eddie and I lift the biggest piece of concrete off of Bobby. Once it’s out of the way, Hen and a few others come in with the airbag. Eddie quickly takes it out of the bag and shoves it under before grabbing the pump. He then starts to air it up, making the concrete lift off of Bobby.
Once it’s high enough, we all move back and I grab Bobby’s hand. I quickly pull him out and a stretcher is waiting for him when I do.
“I’m going with y/n. Hen, you got him?” I ask her and she nods.
“Yeah. Yeah. Go with Firecracker. Me and Athena have Bobby and Chim,” she tells me and I quickly nod before running off.
I quickly run over to her ambulance and they let me hop in with them before heading to the hospital. I hold her hand the whole way and force myself not to cry until I know more about her condition. Once at the hospital, they quickly open the doors of the ambulance and start to push her out. Just as we get out, everyone else seems to arrive as well. They push her farther into the hospital and I keep hold of her hand as all the others get pushed in as well.
“We’ve got an abdominal puncture wound. Seems to have missed major organs,” Hen quickly explains about Chimney as they wheel him though first.
“Already pushed two milligrams of morphine,” she shouts out, pointing to Chimney as they continue in and she spins back around.
“This one’s got a couple of broken ribs, refused to take anything for the pain,” she explains about Eddie as she helps Athena walk him in.
“I’m fine!” Eddie groans out through clenched teeth before Hen turns back around.
“No. You’re not,” Hen sternly tells him before moving on to Cap as they roll him in next.
“Captain has a probable AC joint sprain, over a dozen lacerations and too many bone bruises to count. Aside from that, he’s in one piece,” Hen informs them as they continue to push Bobby though and she walks by his side.
“Gonna take more than a couple tons of asphalt and a semi to take Cap down,” I comment as I walk in right behind them with y/n.
“Thanks to you guys and LAPD’s finest,” Bobby tells us as he nods at Athena.
“Just another day on the job,” Athena tells him before he too gets rolled off.
“We’ve got another abdominal puncture wound, not really sure if it hit any organs. Had to leave the rebar in her side due to major blood loss and still unconscious,” Hen updates y/n’s nurses that had taken over from the paramedics right before they got to the doors.
I keep a hold on her hand, not ready to leave her side. The nurses come to a stop, making me look up at them.
“Sir. You’ll have to stay out here while she’s in surgery,” the paramedic tells me as he holds a hand up and my eyebrows furrow.
“I’m not leaving her,” I disagree, shaking my head as anger takes over.
“Sir. I promise we’ll take the best care of her, but you can’t come back into surgery with her,” he again tells me and I unintentionally let out a growl.
“I am not leaving her. I can’t…” I petulantly fight back and he sighs, pinching at his nose.
“Sir. You can’t. I’m sorry, but you have to stay here. Why don’t you get yourself checked out so you’ll be ok when she needs you?” he offers and I take a moment to think about it.
“Buck. Let them take her back. She’ll be okay,” A voice speaks up as they grab onto my shoulder and slightly pulls me back.
I turn to the voice and see Maddie giving me a sorrowful look. Before I even have time to say anything, my big sister is pulling me into a hug. I sigh and relax into the hug, gripping onto my sister's shirt.
“She’ll be okay, Buck. She’s strong, remember? She’s not leaving you yet,” Maddie softly tells me as she rubs my back and I nod.
“Why don’t you go get checked out and I’ll make sure you're the first to know if there’s any news?” she asks me and I hesitate, but agree.
“Good. Umm, excuse me, ma’am. Can you please have my brother checked out? He’s part of the 118,” Maddie explains as she stops a nurse that was walking past us.
“Sure. If you would just follow me this way, sir,” the nurse says and I again hesitate, but follow her when Maddie gives a nod.
“I’m going to find Chim. When you're done, come find me, alright?” she asks me and I nod at her before turning and following the nurse.
The nurse takes me back to a bed and has me sit down on it. She then proceeds to look me over and only takes a few minutes before smiling softly.
“Well, Mr. Buckley, you only seem to have a very moderate concussion and very little cuts along with some bruising. You should be okay, just have someone be with you just in case,” she tells me and I nod as she takes off her gloves.
“Am I good to go?” I ask her and she nods softly with a ’Hmm’.
Once she gives me the okay, I pull back the curtain and head back out to the waiting room. I walk through the two double doors I’d gone through and find Maddie sitting and talking with Athena.
Third Person Pov:
After getting Buck to agree to get checked out, Maddie can breathe just a little easier. In her head she checks him off, happy that one of the three people she was most scared for is okay. She watches as he disappears with the nurse before rushing off to find Chimney. It takes her a few minutes, but finally she finds him and rushes over to him.
“Chim,” she calls out to him as she comes up next to him on the stretcher.
“Hey,” he tells her as he takes his oxygen mask off when he sees her.
“Hi,” she tells him with tears in her eyes.
“Don’t worry. It’s worse than it looks,” he jokes with a chuckle.
“Oh,” he moans as he doubles over ever so slightly. “I’m fine,” he groans out after the wave of pain hits him and she rubs his shoulder.
“Good. ‘Cause you’re not getting out of marrying me that easy,” she jokes back with a small laugh, making him chuckle.
“Plus, I think we may have a new couple you’ll want to see when all of this is said and done,” Maddie comments and Chimney gives her a shocked yet hopeful look.
“Really?” he questions and Maddie nods.
“Ha. I called it! Hen owes me 50 bucks!” Chimney calls out before groaning in pain and Maddie laughs.
“You two bet on Buck and y/n?” she questions with a raised eyebrow.
“Well to be fair, we were just betting they’d be together by the end of this month, not that one would get hurt. But in all fairness, it worked out in my favor…” Chimney tells her as he bounces his eyebrows weakly and she laughs.
“Oh…” she comments as she finally really looks him over. “Honey…” she whispers out as he grabs onto her hand.
“I love you,” he tells her and she grins.
“Love you, too,” she parrots him with a nod and he smiles at her. He lets out a breath as he lays his head back and she squeezes his hand.
Maddie comes walking back though the waiting room with two coffees in hand just as Athena walks out one of the other members of the 118. Maddie rounds the chair and meets up with Athena in the middle.
“So that’s everyone?” Maddie asks as she holds one of the coffees out for her.
“Yep. All the 118ers have been released and sent home. Except for ours,” Athena informs her as they both take a seat.
“Doctors think they can release Bobby tonight, though. And you?” Athena explains before pointing at Maddie, who sighs.
“We have one more scan for Chim, if it’s clear, then tomorrow morning. You can guess how he took that news,” Maddie jokes even though she still worries for one more.
“Bobby tried to roll himself into the elevator when I wasn’t looking,” Athena jokingly tells her and Maddie laughs.
“You know they spend all of their time with the sick and injured, and yet…” Maddie starts trailing off at the end.
“They are the worst patients,” Athena finishes off for her.
“Still doesn’t seem real,” Maddie comments as she watches the news on the Tv in the corner.
“That it happened, or that anyone survived it?” Athena asks and the mood becomes more serious.
“Both,” Maddie tells her with a nod.
“And they all can’t wait to get back out there again,” Maddie says, trying to lighten the mood again.
“It takes a special kind of crazy to want to live this life,” Athena jokes right back, making Maddie laugh.
“Oh, by the way. Congratulations on your engagement,” Athena reverently tells her and Maddie smiles.
“Thanks,” Maddie says with a smile before they clink their coffee cups together.
“So, how’s y/n?” Athena asks after a minute of silence.
“She’s doing okay, out of surgery,” Maddie starts to explain after sighing and shaking her head as she fights tears.
“The rebar missed all vital organs thankfully. It did however rupture part of her large intestine as well as her small intestine. The nurse said y/n got lucky, that it pierced between the two almost perfectly, that’s why there was so much blood, but the doctor was able to fully repair any damage and she’s in the ICU now,” Maddie continues to explain but pauses a moment when she gets choked up.
“They are saying hopefully she’ll wake up tomorrow morning and if she does, she’ll be in a regular room,” Maddie finishes explaining and takes a big breath of air in as more tears come up.
“She’ll be okay. How’s Buck dealing with it all?” She asks, making Maddie chuckle.
“How do you think he is? He wouldn’t even let go of her hand to let them take her to surgery,” Maddie explains with a roll of her eyes.
“Sounds like Buck. Where is he now?” Athena asks as she looks around for him.
“I sent him to get checked out too. He’s going to come find me soon hopefully. I’m going to try and get him to go home, but I don’t know if he will,” Maddie explains and Athena gives her a knowing look.
“That’s going to be one tough mission,” she comments and Maddie nods just as Buck walks through the door.
Buck’s Pov:
I sigh and rub my face as I walk over to Athena and Maddie. I stop just before them and Maddie pats the seat next to her.
“So?” Maddie questions and I huff as I sit down next to my sister.
“I don’t know why you had me get checked out. I just have a moderate concussion along with a few cuts and bruises, which I figured,” I inform her and she shakes her head.
“It made you think about something other than worrying about y/n,” she tells me and Athena gives me a soft, sympathetic smile.
“We’re glad you're okay too, though. You never know what could have been, especially with what you went through today,” Athena explains and I sigh before agreeing.
“And the last few years… like electrocution, the engine falling on top of you… ya know only to list a few…” Maddie adds on with a roll of her eyes making Athena chuckle.
“She is right you have been through a lot the last few years,” athen adds in her two cents.
“Yeah. Yeah. I guess you're right. How’s y/n and Chim?” I ask Maddie and she sighs.
“She’s out of surgery and in the ICU to be watched over. If she wakes in the morning, she’ll go to a normal room for recovery,” Maddie explains as she rubs my shoulder.
“The doctor says she should be just fine. Just like I said she’d be. Chim gets to go home tomorrow morning maybe,” she continues and I go to get up, but she pulls me back down.
“Where are you going?” she asks me with a raised eyebrow.
“I’m going to be with her,” I remark in a matter of fact tone and she sighs.
“No. You're going home. You need rest. Plus there’s no visiting in the ICU right now,” she commands and I shake my head before groaning.
“No way in hell am I going home. I’ll stay right here,” I fight back and she gives me the same stern look that she’d give me and Y/n as kids growing up.
“Buck. I will be here the whole night. I promise I will call if something happens, okay? Just please go home and get some rest. Plus, don’t you need to check in on Kameron?” Maddie questions and my eyes widen.
“Shit. I forgot about Kameron. Yeah, I probably should, seeing as Connor probably hasn’t,” I groan out, rubbing at my face.
“So, go home. Shower. Rest up a bit and then come back in the morning,” Maddie softly appeals to me as she rubs my back.
“I can’t leave her though, Mads,” I speak with my voice trembling ever so slightly and my eyes filling up with tears.
“I know, but baby brother you need to think of yourself too. I promise I will call right away if anything happens, okay?” she practically begs me and I sigh, nodding slowly.
“Okay, but the MOMENT something happens, I am called…” I sternly tell her and she nods admittedly.
“The very moment,” she promises me and I sigh, nodding.
“Okay. I’ll go home then,” I agree, making Athena and Maddie give each other triumphant looks.
“Okay. Try and get some form of rest,” she commands me as I stand up.
“I’ll try, but no guarantees,” I promise her and she smiles, nodding softly.
“All I ask is that you try, okay?” she asks me as she gets up too.
“Okay…” I agree before she’s pulling me into a hug.
I close my eyes and grip onto my sister a little harder, letting the comfort take over. She rubs at the back of my head and I hold back tears at the thought that she’s not the only one that does that. She pulls away and I open my eyes to look at her. She gives me a soft smile of encouragement before squeezing my arm.
“She’ll be okay, baby brother. You just have to believe it,” she promises me and I nod, not trusting my voice at the moment.
“Maybe by then Bobby will be released,” Athena comments and I just nod, unable to get any words out.
“Buck. You’ve been through so much, so has she. She’s not going to let this be what takes her out. I just know it,” Maddie encourages me and I sigh, nodding as I wipe at my face quickly.
“Okay. Ready to go?” Athena asks and I hesitate again, but slowly agree.
Athena nods solemnly, then nods to Maddie before we both turn and start to walk towards the doors. We quietly walk to her patrol car and she unlocks it. Both of us get in and she starts the car up.
“Do you want me to take you to get your car in the morning?” she asks me as she starts driving and I pause a moment to think about it.
“If it’s not too much trouble, yeah,” I agree and she smiles softly at me.
“It’s never too much trouble for you, Buck,” she tells me in a soft tone and I weakly smile.
“Thank you, Athena. Really,” I speak in a reverent tone and she nods.
She continues to drive for a little while longer before pulling up at my apartment complex. She parks the car and turns to me.
“You take care of yourself, okay. I know you’re worried for our girl, but I know she’s strong. She’ll be awake before you know it,” Athena sympathizes with me as she reaches over and squeezes my arm.
“I promise. Plus, I’ll probably have Kameron nitpicking all over me the second I walk through the door. I’ll be good,” I inform her and she smiles softly.
“That’s all we ask, Buck. I’ll call you in the morning when I’m on my way to come get you,” she explains and I nod softly at her before getting out of the car.
After closing her car door, I walk up to the entrance of the complex before going inside. Once I’m in, I walk over to the elevator and press my floor’s botton. As I wait for the elevator, I lean against the wall and let out a sigh while frustratedly rubbing at my face. The elevator finally starts to go up and I let out another puff of air as it feels like a forever ride.
Finally the elevator comes to a stop and the doors slowly open. I let out one more huff at the thought that just this morning, she was walking these halls with me. I slowly walk down the hall, almost dragging my feet to my apartment, pull out my keys and unlock the door. The door clicks open and I turn the knob until I can push it open.
The lights are still on when I walk in, making me confused so I walk a little farther in. Kameron sits on the couch watching some TV with a jar of peanut butter. She slowly turns to look at me and drops her spoon.
“Oh my goodness, Buck. I saw the news. Is everyone doing okay?” she asks me and I pause before shaking my head.
“Almost everyone is fine. Y/n’s the only one that got injured badly,” I tell her and she frowns, getting up to come over to me.
“I’m sorry. I know you want to be with her,” she tells me as she pulls me into a hug.
“I’ll see her in the morning. For now I’m nursing a concussion, so you’ll be in charge of keeping me up,” I tell her and she smiles softly as she nods.
“Of course. I can do that. Hold that thought, I gotta go pee,” she informs me before rushing off and I chuckle, shaking my head.
I sit down on the couch and immediately my mood falls again when I see the picture of us that sits on my coffee table. I gulp and pick it up, remembering the memory for a small moment before Kameron walks back out.
“She’ll be okay, Buck. I’ve only known her for a year at most, but I know she’s strong,” Kameron comforts me and I sigh, nodding as I put the picture back.
“It’s only been a few hours, but I miss her so much, Kam,” I cry out and she smiles sympathetically before sitting down next to me.
“I know, honey. I know,” she sweetly tells me as she pulls me into a hug and strokes my head lovingly.
“You’ll be a great mom, Kam. I’m glad I could help you guys have that,” I tell her and she giggles lightly.
“You really think so?” she asks me and I pull back, nodding.
“Look how you just comforted me. I know so, Kam,” I promise her and she smiles softly at me.
“Well thank you, Buck. That makes me feel a lot less scared,” she informs me and I smile softly at her.
“Of course, Kam. I can’t wait to watch your little family grow,” I again promise her and she swats at me.
“Enough you big ol’ sap! I’m hormonal, you’ll make me cry,” she tells me and I chuckle.
“Okay… okay… I’m done. I swear,” I tell her as I throw my hands up in surrender and lean back into the couch.
“Let’s just watch some TV, yeah?” she asks as she picks up the remote and I just nod at her.
It’s now been a few hours since I got home and so far I’ve done laundry, watched some mindless TV with Kameron, and done a little bit of cleaning. I even do some of y/n’s laundry for her, knowing how much she’d need clean clothes when she gets out of the hospital. Maddie texted a little while after I put the last load of laundry in. She informed me she took Chim home, but that she’s back at the hospital with y/n. Now I stand at the counter, doing some dishes as Kameron goes to the bathroom for the fourth time.
“Uh, hey, you… you doing okay?” I ask as I turn around from putting one of y/n’s cups into the cupboard as she comes out of the bathroom.
“That’s the fourth time you’ve gone in the last hour,” I observe as she stops at the bottom of the stairs.
“Well, I have a whole human leaning on my bladder,” she snarkily replies as she rubs her belly.
“So the struggle is real,” she finishes with a sigh as she turns back to the living room and I turn back to another dish as she continues to the living room.
“Ow?” she says after she lets out a hiss and stops where she’s at, grabbing onto the stairs with one hand as she holds her stomach with the other.
“Uh… what… what was that?” I ask her in concern, stopping what I’m doing to look over at her.
“Um, I don’t know…” she trails off before trying to start walking again.
“Ow, ow, ow, ow…” she repeats over and over as she doubles over.
“Uh… was it… was it a contraction?” I ask her as I jog lightly over to her.
“Uh, I think so,” she informs me as she doubles over again and I put my hand on her back.
“Um, I don’t know. I— I felt something earlier, but it didn’t feel like this, you know?” she explains as I lead her over to the couch.
“It wasn’t that stro— oh, my God!” she continues before doubling over halfway to the couch as she screams out in pain.
“Uh, okay, why don’t we have you sit down?” I calmly ask her as I point at the couch.
“I’m gonna call your doctor—” I start to say but she cuts me off.
“I’m in labor,” she informs me in a matter of fact tone and I reach out for her.
“You—you don’t know that,” I say just as I hear the sound of liquid trickling.
“My water just broke,” she says in realization and she stands straight again.
“Something’s wrong. This is too early. This is too early,” she starts to panic and I quickly reach out for her again.
“Um, okay, it is early, yes, but it’s— it’s not too early,” I rush to calm her as I hold onto her hands.
“Let's sit you down, okay?” I calmly ask her and she nods, giving a small ‘okay’ of her own as I lead her the rest of the way to the couch.
“Let’s focus on our breathing,” I gently command as she sits.
“Okay… in…” I tell her before breathing with her and soon she starts to groan in pain.
“You got it, you’re a pro,” I try to coach her though, but her groans only intensify.
“Come on, it's okay. Let’s— let’s lay down,” I lightly command again as I grab her shoulders and guide her into a laying down position.
“Go on, I got ya. Nice and easy. Nice and easy,” I tell her calmly as I lift her legs for her and guide them onto the couch as she gives a head nod as well as a small ‘okay’.
“Okay, just keep that breathing going. In. There you go. You're doing great. Just breathe,” I continue to coach her for a few minutes and she seems somewhat calmer.
“Uh, you know, I’m gonna call the paramedics. Just in case. Okay?” I inform her as I pull my phone out and quickly dial 911.
“Uh, you’re doing good. You’re doing great. Don’t panic,” I try to keep her calm and possibly myself from freaking out as I put the phone up to my ear.
“911, how can I help you?” One of the dispatchers pick up the phone.
“I’m at 574 Grand Street. I have a woman in premature labor; it’s coming on fast,” I pause as the woman asks me some information while Kameron groans out in more pain.
“Close. Minutes,” I inform her as she types up the information.
“Uh, hey, hey, just stay calm, paramedics are on their way,” I tell Kameron as I quickly move the phone away from my mouth so I can try and calm her.
“I’m gonna grab some towels and hot water. Just in case. You’re doing great,” I encourage her one last time before rushing to the bathroom and starting to grab the towels.
“Buck!!!” she calls out for me and I rush a little quicker.
“Hurry up,” she groans out in pain as she lays back on the couch again and I open the door so the paramedics can come right in.
“Yeah. I’ll be right there,” I tell her before I rush around the kitchen for all the supplies I need.
“Hello?” A voice calls out and I hear a light knock on the door as I finish filling a bowl full of warm water.
“Wow, that was fast. She’s- she’s on the couch,” I call out over my shoulder as I keep my attention on the water.
“Who?” The voice calls out again, making me turn to look at the door to see Natalia, the girl I’ve been going out on dates with for a while.
I silently curse to myself, remembering we had agreed to talk before all of the events today. I stop the water and turn around to her.
“Natalia… uh, hi…” I say awkwardly, pausing for a moment.
“Buck!!!” Kameron shouts out and I quickly snap back into action.
“What- what is happening?” Natalia asks and I quickly grab all the towels and the bowl.
“I— I need your help. Come on. This way,” I inform her quickly as I rush over to Kameron and she follows me.
As we quickly walk over, my mind races a mile a minute as I try to place all of my energy on Kameron. I try to keep back the thought of just wishing y/n were here right now and how I’m going to have to have a talk with Natalia, but it’s really hard to just focus. I don’t want to hurt Natalia, but after today I realized y/n is the one for me. How do I tell Natalia that? Soon, though, I’m pulled out of my thoughts and back into rush mode when Kameron yells out for me again.
To Be Continued…
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Not sure if requests are open but I'd love something where a pregnant reader drops her keys in a car park and asks buck to help her pick them up when he's walking past and it's like love at first sight for both of them. Buck doesn't care at all that she's pregnant (baby daddy not in the picture)
Love at First Sight
(It’s not perfect but I didn’t want you to wait any longer)
You had not been dating Luke long when you got pregnant. When you told him he ghosted you. Thats how you ended up in the hospital parking garage alone, and 6 months pregnant, looking down at your fallen keys.
“Here let me help you” you heard a voice say, a man jogged over to you and picked up your keys.
“Here ya go” he said with a charming grin.
“Thank you, your my hero” you joked.
He watched as he studied your left hand.
“So you waiting for your husband?” He asked.
“No, no husband”
“Boyfriend?” He asked again
“Not one of those either” you said. He smiled a little.
“Evan Buckley, but everyone calls me Buck” he said extended his hand.
“Y/n l/n” you said shaking hands.
“I don’t know if you would maybe want to get lunch sometime” he said nervously.
“Sure, I’d love that” you handed him your phone to put his number into. You then texted him so he would have yours.
“Cool” he said. Something about this man made you feel whole. It made you feel something you hadn’t felt in a long time. You knew just from that short encounter that he was the one for you.
