#buckactuallys

[prettyboybuckley]

Buddie Week Day 2: Best Parallel ⟿ to save or be saved

You can have my back any day Yeah, or you know, you could have mine

[oneawkwardcookie]

And up until now I had sworn to myself that I'm content With loneliness Because none of it was ever worth the risk Well, you are the only exception

[capseycartwright]

i would love to see what you make of “come on, you've never thought about it?“ “maybe once or twice.“, if it inspires you! - @buckactuallys

hope you enjoy, @buckactuallys!

send me a prompt from this (or this!) list

Eddie’s not really sure how they got onto the topic. As most conversations with Buck tended to, they’d cycled through a lot – work, firstly, both of them getting their frustrations and thoughts off of their chest after a long week of long shifts; Christopher, next, Eddie proudly flicking through the photos he’d taken of the two tests Christopher had gotten back with a shiny A+ grade scrawled across the top. After that, it had been food, and what to get for dinner, and what would your last meal be, if you had to choose, a monologue from Buck on how underrated ginger was as seasoning, and an argument on what movie they wanted to watch.

One of the things Eddie enjoyed the most about his friendship with Buck was how easy it was to talk to him. Christopher was at a sleepover party for a classmate’s birthday, and so Eddie had found himself on Buck’s doorstep, in need of his best friend, and Buck had been expecting him – Eddie had never been all that good at hiding when he was missing Christopher, and Buck knew Eddie struggled with sitting home alone when Christopher wasn’t there. (“It feels like there’s a limb missing,” Eddie had admitted once, and Buck has responded with a bone-crushing hug.)

Talking to Buck was one of Eddie’s favourite things to do. He didn’t even really care what they were talking about – he just liked to talk to Buck, liked to listen to him.

They’d cracked open a six-pack of beer, after dinner, and were two deep each, a cheesy Christmas film playing in the background. Eddie had been half paying attention to the movie, the rest of his focus on Buck, and the way he was rambling – about Christmas, firstly, and now about boys.

“Have you ever thought about it?” Buck nudged. “Dating a guy, I mean,” he said, gesturing vaguely at the TV screen. As it turns out, Eddie realised, the protagonists of the movie were a gay couple. It said a lot about the percentage of Eddie’s attention that was on Buck, rather than on Hallmark’s latest cheesy seasonal offering.

Eddie shrugged. “No,” he lied. “You?”

“I’ve slept a few,” Buck admitted, not offended by the look of shock on Eddie’s face. “I was twenty, when I left home, Eds – I tried a lot with my newfound freedom.”

Eddie swallowed the mouthful of beer that had been bitterly lingering in his mouth, as Buck spoke. “Do you – do you like guys as well, then?”

Buck hummed, for a second. “I do,” he confirmed. “I never really thought about a label,” he admitted. “But I guess you could say I’m bisexual. I’ve never dated a guy, though – but then again, I’ve never dated all that many people.”

Eddie nodded. “That’s cool,” he said, because his best friend in the entire world had just come out to him, so he had to respond, had to say something reassuring so Buck didn’t think Eddie was a homophobe, or something. Eddie was definitely not a homophobe – how could he be, when he sometimes (more often than he’d like to admit to) thought about Buck in a way that made his own stomach twist in excitement, wondering if their easy friendship could ever be more.

Buck settled back down on the couch, watching the movie intently for a second. “They’re best friends,” he said, the comment more of a statement.

“Yeah?” Eddie wasn’t quite sure how to respond to that.

“We’re best friends.”

Eddie raised an eyebrow. “I don’t really know what you’re trying to say here, Buck.”

Buck twisted, in his seat, so he was looking more at Eddie, than at the screen. “It means you can tell me anything, Eddie! You really never thought about kissing a guy?” he prodded, and okay; Eddie wasn’t sure what to do here except admit the truth of it.

“I’ve wondered about it,” Eddie admitted, and he couldn’t quite believe he was admitting it out loud for the first time. It was the sort of thing he’d sort of assumed he’d just internalise forever and never act on.

Buck’s grin was sloppy, the beers they’d drank clearly making him feel open and easy-going – more than ever, that is. “Have you ever thought about kissing me?”

Eddie rolled his eyes. “No, of course not.”

“Come on!” Buck prodded, relentless, because of course he was – Buck was never one to back down from a challenge, and clearly, Eddie’s unwillingness to be truthful about this was a challenge he was keen to overcome. “You’ve really never thought about it?”

Eddie kept his gaze fixed steadily on the television, the cheesy film they were watching slowly approaching its climax – it was snowing, on screen, and the two main characters were having what looked like an intense conversation. A love confession, maybe – even over the roaring rush in his ears, Eddie could catch snippets of the film. ‘You’re my best friend,’ one of the characters said, shaking their head. ‘I wish I was more,’ the other responded, and Eddie cursed whatever God had decided to play this specific movie, at this specific moment.

“Maybe once or twice,” he managed to admit, unable to tear his gaze away from the TV screen. Did these two get their happy ending, he wondered? They must do – the tried and tested formula of Hallmark movies was that the characters always got their happy ending, always ended up together, happy and in love. Eddie wished real life was like that, that reality followed the same format – a meet-cute, they fall in love, a few scenes of conflict, and happily ever after.

“Eddie,” Buck’s voice was soft. “Will you look at me?”

Eddie let out a shaky laugh. “I’d rather not.”

Before he could try and escape, there was a hand on his chin, and Buck was tugging Eddie’s face toward his own, an open, earnest smile on his best friend’s face. The movie was playing something cheesy, and Christmassy, the opening notes of a familiar Christmas song filling Buck’s living room. Eddie didn’t know what was happening on screen – not now, not when Buck was forcing Eddie to look at him, Buck’s feelings written all over his face in a way that should have terrified Eddie to his very core.

Buck smiled, softly. “I think about kissing you all the time, Eddie.”

[bakugeorge]

if you’re still taking kiss prompts, may i request number 34? 🥰 - @buckactuallys

anything for you pia darling <3

34. i missed you kisses

ao3

Eddie double-taps Buck's latest Instagram post with a sigh. It's a sunrise picture, the sky shot through with pinks and oranges, framed on either side by the barest hints of pine boughs. Buck's captioned it with half a dozen unrelated emojis and Eddie leaves his own in the comments: a yellow heart, a flower bouquet, a loaf of bread.

He navigates from the photo to Buck's profile, clicking on a selfie from a couple days ago, Buck and Maddie pressed shoulder to shoulder and smiling so wide their eyes are almost closed. Buck had captioned it Hershey.

It wasn't good news that had sent the Buckleys back to Pennsylvania. Philip fell from the roof while clearing the gutters and at first it had seemed like touch and go. When Eddie found Buck in their bedroom, packing a bag, a worrying line of tension had been strung between his shoulders, and there was the barest hint of a shake to his hands when Eddie held them. Eddie's never hidden his dislike for the Buckley parents, but he'd find some way to make them live forever if it could stop Buck from feeling this way ever again.

That was last Thursday. Philip's on the mend – "Buckleys are hard to kill," Buck had quipped over the phone, but the joke hadn't landed the way he meant it to – and Buck and Maddie should be home by the time the 118's off shift.

Which is still another – Eddie can't help but frown – three hours away.

He taps out of the selfie and scrolls till he finds another post, about halfway down Buck's feed. It's from their first date, a photo of the two of them they'd asked a tourist to take on Eddie's phone. Buck's arm is slung around Eddie's shoulders, Eddie's around his waist, and Buck's head is turned to press a sloppy kiss to Eddie's cheek the instant the photo was taken. Eddie's eyes are scrunched tight in the photo, caught halfway between a smile and a laugh, and just looking at it soothes the lonely ache between his rib bones.

He has the same photo on his profile. Buck had commented approximately thirty fire emojis.

"Don't make me take that phone from you," a voice says from behind and Eddie jumps. He shuts off the screen and pretends to be inspecting the cracked glass protector.

"I'm not doing anything," he mumbles, unconvincingly. Hen heaves out a sigh and plops herself on the armrest beside Eddie.

"It's okay to miss him, you know," she says, knocking their knees together. Eddie takes the offered mug of coffee and inhales the steam, pretending like that's what's making his face so red.

"It hasn't even been a week." It's been precisely five days, four hours, and eleven minutes. "They're literally on the plane home right now. I'm fine."

"Uh huh." Hen sips her coffee. "This is the longest you've been apart since you've been dating, right?" Eddie feels his shoulders hunch in a little. "No, it's – the longest you've been apart since –"

"The lawsuit, yeah, don't remind me."

"Hey." She knocks their knees again, then reaches down and places a steadying hand on Eddie's, setting her coffee on the table with the other. "If I know Buck, he's going out of his damn mind for missing you, too." She wrinkles her nose a little. "You didn't see him at work after you got shot. To say he was a fucking mess is putting it very politely."

Eddie huffs out a laugh. Hen squeezes his knee, once, then lets go, standing. "Thanks, Hen," he manages to work out around the lump in his throat. She offers him a smile.

"Hey, any time. But I mean it." She nods at the phone still in Eddie's hand. "Don't make me take that from you. You'll get the real guy back in no time."

Eddie makes a show of pocketing the phone and she nods in satisfaction, collecting her coffee and moving away to annoy Chim. He resists the urge to pull it right back out again, shots his coffee, and makes for the gym, where at least his hands will be too busy to stalk his boyfriend's Instagram.

They head out on one more call before the shift ends, a minor housefire that ends with a patented Bobby Lecture™ about the dangers of unattended beef ragu. The truck pulls into the station with about forty minutes left on the clock; Eddie loops his headset off slowly, the last one to make it out of the cab, and walks past a chatting Hen and Buck on his way to the showers.

Wait. Hen and –

"What are you doing here?" Eddie blurts out, and he's one hundred percent certain his face is doing something completely unhinged, because Hen takes one look and hightails it to the lockers. Buck is all long lines in a soft purple hoodie, shorts and trainers, one leg hitched up against the wall behind him, his hair soft and curling over his forehead.

"Gee, babe," he says, and Eddie's talked to him twice a day since he went away but still it feels as though he's forgotten what he sounded like, those two words in Buck's teasing tone going straight to the backs of his knees, "nice to see you, too."

"You –" And Eddie's in his turnout gear, and slightly filthy, and he brought his hair gel and second-nicest henley to the firehouse to change into after his shift so he could greet Buck at home looking a little less like he just got off a 24-hour, and Buck is leaning so casually in front of him looking like every dream Eddie's had since he's been gone and nothing like he just got off a seven-hour flight, and when they started dating Bobby made them sign half a million HR forms and they've been so good at keeping it professional, so good it took the team three whole days to figure out they were dating and only then because they'd arrived to shift together, and Chim got on their back about preferential carpooling, and Buck had said something along the lines of, "you're welcome to share my Jeep, Chim, but I draw the line at letting you into my bed, too," and Eddie should reiterate that he is still in his turnout gear, but Buck's always done this to him: made him not think straight. (Ha.)

Eddie doesn't try to finish his sentence and Buck doesn't seem to want him to; when Eddie presses into him, fits their mouths together, he only opens his with a happy little sigh and slips his arms under Eddie's coat, clutching at his waist over the fabric of his t-shirt and tasting like spearmint gum.

Eddie's tongue feels sticky and so, so heavy when they tilt apart, and his thumb finds the fold of Buck's birthmark into his eyebrow and presses there as Buck's eyes flutter shut.

"I missed you," Eddie admits, feeling like he did that first time they kissed, the way the wanting had bubbled up all inside of him like fancy champagne.

Buck chuckles, soft and bright, and opens his eyes. "Hen said as much," he replies, smile widening as Eddie blushes. "I missed you too. Just ask Mads. Pretty sure she's had enough of me talking about your ass for a lifetime."

"Please tell me you did not talk about my ass with your sister."

Buck kisses him again. "It's a great ass." Again. "Ten out of ten would recommend."

"You're a fucking dumbass," Eddie says, affectionate, and kisses the hinge of Buck's jaw where he can smell faint traces of his aftershave.

"Yeah," and the word comes out as a sigh, "but you missed me anyway."

"He really, really did," Hen interjects from behind them. Eddie groans, his forehead finding a home in the soft fabric of Buck's shoulder, but there's no use denying it.

That night, after Buck's driven them home from the firehouse, and they've collected Christopher from Pepa's and shuttled him off to bed, Buck posts on Instagram. It's a simple portrait of his and Eddie's clasped hands over the rumpled pale pink sheets of their bed. He captions it Home.

Eddie doesn't comment till the morning. He has better things to occupy his hands.

[buckleys-diaz]

2.14 // 3.15 // 4.12

↳ for @buckactuallys

[littlespoonevan]

pretty sure this is the one you’ve been posting snippets of but even if it is i’ve been loving every peek – three men and a baby aka two men and a chris au

- @buckactuallys

ahh thank you, pia 🥰🥰 so i think i've explained it before but it's basically three men and a baby except it's just buck and eddie living together and chris is 6 when he shows up, not a baby lmao. so i'm kind of taking some insp from big daddy too, i guess!!

but more importantly, here's a lil snippet since i've actually made some progress in the last week:

“Go to sleep, Eds,” he whispers. “Everything’s fine.”

Eddie remains unmoved for a moment but then Buck feels him deflate, his back loosening and settling against Buck’s chest. “What if I’m a bad dad?”

Buck frowns, instinctively pressing closer as if he could hug the insecurity out of Eddie. “Not possible.”

“It could be,” Eddie murmurs. “I mean, my dad-“

“Is not someone you should be comparing yourself to,” Buck cuts in. “It hasn’t even been twenty-four hours. Give yourself a break.”

Eddie doesn’t answer right away but eventually he exhales and lifts his arm let Buck’s arm slide more securely around his waist. “I’ll try. Goodnight, Buck.”

[clusterbuck]

the same person who took the picture of eddie, christopher and shannon on christmas that eddie has in his bedroom. clearly the diazes always have a personal photographer around, we just never see them on screen

- @buckactuallys

google earth always taking pics

[mistchievous]

The time has come, and I can finally post the podfic for “darker days, brighter endings” by @buckactuallys!

This podfic fought me every step of the way. It was meant to go up weeks ago, but it wanted to be a huge pain for me to finish. But it’s finally done. Or as done as it’s gonna be. 😂

It’s a post-S4 recovery fic, so I really wanted it up BEFORE this season, but alas. I’m late. 😭

I hope you enjoy it anyway though, darlings! 😘

Length: 5 hours 06 minutes 53 seconds Format: Streaming & MP3 Fandom: 9-1-1 (TV) Relationship: Evan “Buck” Buckley/Eddie Diaz (Buddie) Ao3 Link: Here