#burdwurds

[vaultofawurdyburd]

I think that a lot of people in our overly-individualistic western society are hung up on titles. Which, isn't a novel statement, but more specifically, in that nobody can seemingly distinguish between somebody who Has Done/Tried/Owns something, and someone who Does/Is something.

There are many people who Have kids, or who have Had kids, or who have Watched Over or Raised kids, but there are vanishingly few people who Are Parents. Who, by merits of their nature, patience, care and adoration, are truly the type of individual suited to the having of children, caring for them through their infant and adolescent years, patiently teaching what some would consider common sense or simply 'the basics', guiding through the process of becoming independent and gaining responsibilities, and giving loving care and respect for someone through all those years.

There are many people who Have played games, or who Have watched a show, or who Have Played a sport or who Have participated in a hobby, but that's not really enough to identify you. People who claim that they're "too busy" to do X thing they like, vs the people who sacrifice their time and options to do said thing. People who say they wish they could be So Good at Y, but who don't actually enjoy the process of getting there, who perceive the end result as 'the point' of it all, and that everybody must be like them and be miserable every step of the way there.

People who resolve to become fit and get a gym membership, vs someone who actively enjoys being at the gym. People who resolve to write a novel, but have no patience for words and revisions. Why is it more important to be called 'an artist', 'a writer', than to be described as 'someone who enjoys making art, 'enjoys writing'? To be 'a gamer', even though you haven't played a game in years, to be 'someone who cooks' instead of 'someone who enjoys cooking', someone who is a parent rather that someone who enjoys and is good at raising their child?

How far does one have to go to be rewarded these prestigious titles? When does a word or phrase for something truly overlap with the real, the physical? And why is whether you simply found enjoyment in something not seen for it's own merits? Why are people so desperate to BE something?

[vaultofawurdyburd]

Really feeling the Burden of Association these days. The responsibility in just, knowing people. The amount of work it takes, to know and care about the lives and problems of friends and family, to be present and attentive because these are people you care about, and to be doing your best in trying to communicate, in not so many spoken words, that you're there for them, care about them, that they are an important fixture in your life and that you want to be as there for them as they are for you.

But then feeling that... they aren't there for you. That they don't trust you with their problems, that they don't listen when you speak. That they aren't present and attentive, that they don't care about your problems or the weight that association is putting on you. That you're not an important fixture in their life, actually, and that, maybe, they aren't actually one for you, either. Not really. Not like you're trying for them to be.

That everybody has problems. Everyone has their own burdens, their own responsibilities and own distractions, the problems they too experience out of association with others.

Why aren't you one? Why do you want to be?

[vaultofawurdyburd]

People really will just emerge, victorious, grasping the needle of a singular slight against themselves, declaring “you see! I’m being attacked!” when the entire haystack is straws of evidence of other people’s problems

[vaultofawurdyburd]

I’ve mentioned this before about my disillusionment with modern roleplaying but now I’m angry about it again, so I’m gonna take up a bit of space on y’alls wall of posts for you to read or ignore.

TLDR; I’m tired of playing with assholes and having meaningless quests with no value except material gain and xp reward. -------------------------------------------

Everybody I’ve talked to who knows what Dungeons and Dragons is, has expressed to me a desire to play it, “but I don’t know anyone for groups or anything.” As if it’s some cult thing that you have to know a guy or something. But when it comes to actually playing, most people realize they can’t be bothered. They’re too busy, it’s too complicated, or they realized they didn’t actually like it as much as they thought they would. And that’s fine: there is a lot of bedazzling of DnD in pop culture, and folks want to know what they’re missing out on. However.

Enter the average fucko.

More and more often now, in an attempt to find new players, the groups I’ve been in have tried to draw in the potentially-interested, have swung the “it’s a game where you can do anything you want” pitch. Which is fair: it’s a good pitch. It’s basically what the one advantage that elevates tabletop rpg above videogame rpgs. So what do people do? Anything they want. Murder, extortion, blackmail, human trafficking, rape, torture, etc. They see a game where there’s no rules anymore and after getting bored with roleplaying, they do whatever they want that would get them imprisoned in real life, because “that’s what this game is for, right? To do the things I can’t normally? Like GTA, or Saint’s Row, or Fallout?”

Maybe it’s an isolated incident. Maybe there just happens to be a particularly dense population of psychopaths that find themselves in my games. But even beyond psychopaths, the average dnd player is less concerned about roleplaying than they are about doing whatever they can to add wacky highjinks to make the game funny.

Not that there’s anything wrong with a game being funny; the beyond-the-norm circumstances provide a good stage for beyond-the-norm humor. But you know what I miss? I miss being the hero. Not just ‘beating the game’, not just completing the quest. I want the quest’s conditions to MATTER. I want the quest to be something that I genuinely want to see through to the bitter end, not for reward, not for adventure, but because it’s the right thing to do, only I can do it, and somebody’s existence will be made better for it.

What happened to saving the villagers from a curse for no reason other than they’re good people who don’t deserve this, and not for material reward? Not to stick your nose up in disdain at the value, to convince the villagers to part with a little bit extra, which might put some hardships on their future, but who cares, right? The ungrateful wimps should be more thankful you saved their lives.

What happened to quests for a magic flower to save the King’s daughter, beloved by her people? Why can’t I quest to restore a magical wellspring, and return life to the forest? Why can’t I  travel the fuck across the entire continent to the mountains in the north to get a fucking rock, not a magic rock, just a normal fucking rock, and bring it to a mountain guardian of the southern mountain range for his dying wish, because he was in love with a guardian of the northern mountains aeons ago, but then a millennia passed and continental drift split the two mountains apart?

I’m so tired, SO tired, of fighting cultists, and necromancers, and random fucking assholes who are just badguys because the DM needs somebody for the group to fight this session.

So please, if you DM, save a life, and write meaningful fantasy.

[vaultofawurdyburd]

Okay, forget object-oriented coding

You’re not allowed to discuss rpg game design like you’re some kind of game design wizard if you don’t know what Dexterity means.

[vaultofawurdyburd]

The admittedly-unsurprising realization that the average person doesn’t understand object-oriented coding logic, and thus are hit by the brick wall that is coding when they listen to my concepts, and can only return “that sounds like a lot of work”.

Please. Please learn computer logic to at least understand that I can use the same code for different projectiles types, and need only change the values attached to it.

[vaultofawurdyburd]

I keep trying to describe aspects of this game I’m slowly designing and keep getting shut down by people for much of the same reasons, and every single one is cited back to the same generally-accepted problems with modern rpgs that I’ve talked about. That, and how it’d take a long time to balance and to program, but that’s not problems with the system itself, just development resources.

Counter-argument: if an rpg supports evolution of a character’s abilities and playstyle based on new situations, such as found loot, enemies and bosses, and environments, then player choice HAS to come first. And more importantly, a player can’t feel like they’re penalized for choosing what they have, playing the way they do, or regret silly shit like not picking the right race when they started because “now I don’t deal as much damage as if I’d picked that instead”. More than that, allow there to be a difference between what players decide to do, and minmaxers. Minmaxers are players too, but ffs don’t design a game in such a way as to trivialize the average player’s decisions in favor of people who would rather play a calculator than sculpt their niche in a made up world.

[vaultofawurdyburd]

I wonder if the real reason that quality rpgs, both electronic and tabletop roleplay, have suffered in the past few decades, is because most people don’t care about stories or character development or anything, and just want a powertrip where they can murder in the dozens or hundreds without remorse, consequence, or reflection of any kind.

I realize I sound like an old person “what’s wrong with kids these days with their violence” but as an aspiring game designer who’s primary focus is rpgs, it legitimately bothers me. I like DnD but can’t play because nobody takes it seriously outside of the math to become as OP as possible, and games like World of Darkness or Shadowrun fall by the wayside comparatively because they offer non-combat gameplay. Games like Elderscrolls are oversimplified to pander to casuals, which by classic rpg standards means everyone now, and important targets are prevented from dying because player-induced wanton destruction is not only possible, but EXPECTED from minute one at this point.

It just feels like there’s a significant lack of consequence in games nowadays because the average joe doesn’t want their entertainment time to be burdened by stresses and trifles like permanence or penalty.