#busy head

[beausling]

dean’s “so i guess i’ll build a boat and live alone, lord i’ll be the lost one”, to “i won’t be alone for the rest of my life, i’ll build a boat for when the river gets high” pipeline between s13 and s14 . . .

god, i feel sick.. don’t touch me

[sewnwithfate]

Noah Kahan’s music touches a deep part of my soul. Not just because it sounds good (because let’s be honest it sounds amazing) but because his lyrics are truly poetry and it makes so many people with so many different backgrounds and experiences feel seen and understood in a way that not many musicians can while also staying truthful to himself. His lyrics are the truth and even through songs where he talks about things he went through, his mistakes, (ex. Dial Drunk) he’s still honest, he doesn’t sugar coat things or try to paint himself in a different light which is one of the reasons why his music is so good. People can relate to something that is human, mistakes and anger and grief and that empty feeling he addresses in so many of his songs, is human. Anyway I’m probably not explaining this well but I love Noah Kahan and if you haven’t heard of him go check him out please he’s awesome :)

[snorlax-and-co]

[gerduteaa]

Just a paragraph from tonight’s busy mind..

We can’t change the past.. we can cry, scream, wish certain things didn’t happen, or happened a different way, it cannot be changed. Just like looking at old things that bring back memories, will not bring back the times they were created. Holding something that belonged to someone that passed away, or crying at their ashes-will not bring them back, no matter how many times you play their favourite song on repeat. Trying to fit into your childhood outfit, will not make you a kid again, although some days it seems that being that naive kid would mean all your troubles would disappear. Listening to an old album that you were introduced to, or reading something that they wrote about you, looking through old conversations, or looking through the photographs of your most precious memories with your ex-lover will not bring back the feelings and will not place you back into the moment when you felt safe in their arms although some nights it feels like that feeling of safety is exactly what you need. Just because a while ago you’ve set a year of something special happening, things change and that year will not necessarily be special anymore. Just because you look at an old trophy that you earned at some point of your life, it does not mean that you can go back in time and feel the wave of positive emotions hit you all over again.. just because you wear the exact same outfit and smile in the exact same way as you did some time ago in a very special moment, it does not mean that you will relive things the same way. There’s so many happy moments, months, hours in life that we wish we had a chance to go back to and relive all over again, but that isn’t possible. What is possible though, is to take a deep breath and understand, that although the past cannot be relived and cannot be changed, the future is in our hands. I’m a strong believer of “the universe has a plan” however I also believe that sometimes we have the urge to fight what we’re set out to do.. and no the tears will not bring back those who passed away, but we will always have fond memories of them and forgive me if you do not agree, but I believe that we will meet again.. and no, we cannot become those little kids again, but being a child at heart and being a lighthearted over grown kid will always make life seem more simple! And no, we will never re-live the moments of the past with our ex-lovers, but maybe it’s in the stars for those two hearts to try again, bigger, better, stronger-creating new memories, feeling safe and happy.. or maybe, just maybe it’s in the stars to find someone even better, someone who will show us exactly why things didn’t work out with anyone before! And possibly the numbers now seem like nothing, but if you look at it positively, that year could bring you so much more than you originally planned! And it’s in your hands to fight for the moment of that warm/fuzzy feeling of achieving something great once again.. and maybe, just maybe-you don’t even need that outfit that once felt so special, to have another moment that will make you want to wear the different set of clothes all the time! Moments..memories..reminders they are precious, they are precious in a way that they remind us of what used to be, but they’re also precious in a way that you can see how many beautiful things you’ve already lived through, just to realise how many more happy moments there will be! And sometimes we try real hard to hold onto the past.. to the point where we forget to enjoy the presence, let it go..things will happen the way they are meant to happen, let’s agree not to fight it-because I promise you, there is so much more yet to happen, we’ve just gotta believe :3

[lejardindessupplices]

Once i have shut the voices in my head - or are they voices? I see and speak in my head, i see this as a cliché busy train station full of people, full of trains, on speed -- i just need to transform it in my mind into a river, soothing, easy flowing water, in the middle of nature, to be serene -- i can read. Seriously i mean.

Slow process, slow reader. Easier said than done.

[snorlax-and-co]

[snorlax-and-co]

[lindarose1744]

Keeping my head busy with Grey’s Anatomy to avoid falling apart. :)